Hello, I'm currently going through a hard time. My 12 year marriage seems to be coming to an end. You know that frase, "good guys finish last", well....it sucks, but it's true. In general, I'm a nice guy, always trying to please, putting other people's needs before mine. In this case, my wife. In the 12 years we've been together I sacrificed my life so that she could do what she needed to do. Go to school, get a degree, follow her career. Meanwhile I managed my work schedule to best suit her needs. I took care of our kids most of the time, cooked, cleaned and did as much as I could to make sure she had time to take care of her priorities. Now, after all these sacrifices she tells me she doesn't love me anymore and feels we've grown apart because I don't have time to listen to all her problems. SERIOUSLY!!! HOW F*@$!N selfish can you be. I would really like to get some input from the opposite sex on my situation.

since we are only hearing one side of the story, I won't comment on the part about your soon to be ex wife.

the only things I can say is hopefully your separation brings the least hurt possible to your children.
take time to grieve and to heal. hope it works out the next time around. wish you luck

sorry to hear that...

Coming to an end. .?? And you are already in a dating site. .. good luck. .and sorry to hear that..

A divorce is a long process, we're already separated.

Thx

Fellow nice guy, I feel your pain. I was fortunate enough to pull the ebrake before my ex got pregnant so I don't have kids but what you described was like a good day when my ex and I were still together. Keep your head up. It's hard and it does suck but it could be worse. Hopefully you and the kids are healthy, be thankful for that and realize that's a blessing not everyone has. Good luck and no matter what don't give up.

If it's over then don't drag it out. Give her half of everything, let her take the pets, you keep all the man crap she doesn't want.....sign the paper and get the hell away from her. I don't give a chit if you are a nice guy. Be a dick right now and move along. If you feel bad afterwards (you know....about being a prick) then ya go to confession, or pray to Tom Cruise. Bottom line.....just get away and go.

I am going threw the same thing bro ******* now days man it's just cheaper to beat off or get a flesh light I mean they cry for a good man but when they have one they don't know what to do

Hi, IMO no marriage/RS comes to a screeching halt. There are always yellow & usually red flags along the way. If your wife was making it increasingly clear at each juncture of her life (school/jobs) that the family & your needs were not her priority...well, that's EXACTLY what she meant. If she took a job that needed her 60 hours a week that was the choice SHE made & it was up to you do decide if you could handle it, not just hope that the work/career would settle down eventually & she would then devote the time to you.

People get the relationships they want & work for OR they get the relationships they are given & accept. If you think back, you will see that each of her decisions on her education & career moves were made with her as No. 1 & you as No. 2. Usually it's women who fall into the trap of thinking "well, this is just for now - he'll change", but you fell into it too. You sacrificed for her & she came to see it as not a sacrifice, but just the normal status quo that she expected from you. Now you're feeling used & unappreciated & that's a horrible feeling, I know.

The bad thing is the kids are always affected in some way when there's a divorce, so try to shield the feelings of any anger/bitterness your have towards her from them. They'll figure out & appreciate what you've done for them when they are adults, hopefully. Good news, if she's more successful than you financially, because you put your own career 2nd, perhaps you can get support FROM her, if you can prove you're the primary caregiver to the kids. Good luck anyway.

seems like your wording is flawed here... ending or ended?

Dude has already deactivated.

don't panic, ill take his place

im thinking I might hide in her attic for a bit. steal food when she goes to work and move things around the house. just while i contemplate what to do next.

ive taken to miss use of warm apple pies... anyway, flesh lights are rubbish at washing my clothes and cooking my dinner.

no, your wording is floored.

Oh tell the truth ladies its not the kids needs it is your needs western women have become so selfish and self absorbed if a man is working hard to provide for his family u selfish women need to learn to just suck it up.

The only thing that bothers me in this is, your term of 'sacrifice.'
It sounds to me like you did what everybody else on earth did,
you did what it took to make a family and keep it humming, no
matter the obstacles. You, in theory, did it for your kids.

That shows a bit of self-pity.
Which you are probably due.

It might get in the way, however, of moving past all this.
Bitterness shows in the face.

Take responsibility here.
Give up the sulking.

Start new, give your kids a gift and treat their mother with
respect when you see her.

Let it go, without all the angst and resulting problems.

Thanks for sharing.

*makes mental note: one extremely bitter and misguided dude*

did you "just suck it up" yet?

i'm glad for guys like him to give us guidance through tough times like these...