i am not looking to necessarily remarry
i just want someone to grow old with and share the rest of my
life with.

Marriage is only necessary if her father owns a shotgun.

~~~


On a more seriously note,….

What is marriage?

It’s NOTHING, but vows!

Three are basically three types of marriage (three ways to make vows)

(These three independent types of marriage may ultimately be combined and cumulative, or they may stand alone in their own right)

1.) Religious Marriage

In this type of marriage the vows are made before a supreme deity and within the context of the beliefs of that particular religion. Such marriages are considered to be scared and divine, they will often have religious laws, rituals or rules associated with them. Both partners of a religious marriage must be of the same faith to the same God, otherwise they are likely to have serious problems down the road when they disagree one what they believe their differnet Gods expect from them.

The positive side to religious marriage is that it is seen to be blessed by the deity(s) involved, and there is a sense of divine approval.

However, on the negative side, the vow to remain together for life includes a promise to God. Therefore, even if the married couple decide at a later date that they no longer wish to share lives together they stuck with having to ask permission from their god(s) to grant a divorce. This can be a source of great shame and humiliation making the couple feel that they have somehow failed God, when it reality all that might have actually happened is that they got fed up with their partner’s inconsiderate selfishness.

So religious marriages carry with them this divine danger of feeling guilty before God simply because you inadvertently married an a$$hole.

2.) Legal Marriage

Legal marriage is to simply be married before the eyes of a society according to the laws of society. This type of marriage does not require religion and is therefore open to atheists. This type of marriage does not forbid a religious connotation however, it simply doesn’t require it (or at least it shouldn’t require it).

The positive side of a legal marriage is usually in the form of tax relief. Although, it may carry with it other provisions concerning what is acceptable in the way of living arrangements, etc.

On the negative side, the state will keep track of any brats the married couple produce and potentially become involved with the legal custody of the brats should the couple decide to apply for a legal divorce. The state may also dictate matters of how material wealthy shall be divided up between the divorced couple and visitation rights to keep in touch with their brats.

Therefore the ‘vows’ in a legal marriage are really nothing more than a legal contract between the couple getting married and the state. These types of legal contracts could (and should) be available to any couples who wish to live together regardless of their religious views or gender. After all, why should the state even care who the people are? It’s just a legally binding contract that should be offered to any citizens of the state.

3.) Personal Marriage

In this type of marriage the vows are made between to people. No religious deity is implied (although this concept does not need to be excluded either). It simply isn’t necessary to bring a deity into it. The vows are between individuals. Any religious or moral values associated with that are entirely up to the individual who is making the vow to the other person. This type of marriage will allow atheists to marry each other, or even allow an atheist to marry a theist.

The positive side of this type of marriage is that it’s clear who the vows are being made to. The couple isn’t just going through motions to satisfy some their party, but instead they are making vows to one another directly. I could be argued that this type of marriage is the most sacred of all because of the nakedness of where the vows are being pledged.

Another positive aspect of this type of marriage is that should the couple decide later in life that they no longer wish to remain together there are no divine feelings of guilt associated with their parting. No sin is begin committed. They have not failed in any vows that they have made to any deity(s). And they can politely part peacefully and remain platonic friends with the a$$hole that they had inadvertently married.

I can’t think of anything negative to add to this last concept of Personal Marriage, except perhaps that if Legal Marriage isn’t also included there won’t be any tax relief.

Bay, what is a marriage? In your words? Have you been married before?





In my words...marriage...

Originally a useful way of having a woman owned by a man...a woman had no rights , and became 'bound' to her husband, no different to a servant in servitude.

There are still many men who veiw their wife as a possession, and many women who veiw their husband as a possession, also.

Church based, patriarchal based way to manipulate an outcome that was based in greed....social elevation, wife's family possessions became the husband's....dowrys...none based in this romantic delusion of love..

Historically, marriages were primarily within the higher caste, and for convenience and esteem...rarely for the pink fuzzy love stuff.

Knowing all this....I see marriage as unnecessary, and yes I have been married, under pressure from our parents back then...


What is mariage today?

Is it committment? Is it the profound expression of one's love?

Is it convenience? Is it to give children the same name? pfft!

Is it to have children?

Really, what is marriage? Especially if you sepaprate it from all religious connotations...what is the organic structure of marriage?

For me....I don't need a piece of paper to know I CHOOSE to be 'bound' to another, heart and mind.

And who said couples are supposed to remain joined at the hip for 9000 years?

Humans are one of the least monogomous creatures around, and we hide in the religious concept of permanence.

.. if one of the partners is Rich, then im all for it. OTHERWISE I REALLY DONT see the point these days. Why would i enter into a contract wherin i give up my posessions and rights????? Actually a good option is a native American wedding... you still stand in front of witnesses, ect, but the state isnt involved.

For me, I could not be in a committed relationship without being married, others may be able to. I tend to think if one is really committed, why not be married. Again, it is a personal choice.

Falling in love - Marriage need not be the end result. It is quite possible that one falls in love with someone but realizes that person is not really going to be the best mate for them.

Falling in love after marriage - absolutely I believe it is possible. I had a friend a few years ago in her early 70's full of life and fun to be with. She met a nice gentleman in his late 80's. Friends warned her against it. She married for companionship. When she got cancer, despite his years and slight build he was a tower of strength. During those 3 years there is no doubt in my mind that they shared was a deep love that many never see in a lifetime. I feel blessed for knowing them.

marriage certificate just ensures she gets the house ,boat car and all the other toys.!!! lol jk lol

to the naughty step hawk lol

The way I see it so many marriages fail.
Marriage has become a joke.

So much so that the religious right
is having a harder time these days
finding a Republican Presidential
candidate that has been married
to the same wife.

If I ever marry again, it will be for life.

I'm not going to go through all that trouble
getting married again, unless it's for life.

Jess wrote:
“Is it to have children?”

I personally feel that this is the most valid reason for marriage.

Vows should be made to nurture the human spirits that we produce!

And those vows should come from our innermost genuine desire to fulfill them.

Otherwise we’re just used car salesmen in plaid jackets – our words are worthless.

Marriage may not always be the best choice.
As we get older there may be legal and financial
reasons that a marriage certificate may interfere with.

If you plan on having a family than marriage may
be valid to protect the children.

Everything depends on the individual situation.

Looking....what does marriage protect children from?

How are they protected?

I don't understand, but I am in a different country, so maybe laws are different.

A child is the responsibilty of both parents irrespective of a marriage certificate, here.

Marriage, to me, is about making the ultimate commitment to someone and having it blessed by God. It is absolutely something that I want in my life. I would not stay with a man who I loved who would not eventually marry me. Period.

It is the same here in North America Jess.

There is this false notion that a marriage certificate makes you safe .... it does not.

Ok, where did "safe" and "marriage" and "commitment" suddenly become synonyms??

There is no guarantee about any relationship lasting, whether it's platonic or romantic!

ding ding we have a winner.!!!! lol art was right too.

exactly Bay .... so it becomes a matter of preference ... not necessity

See, that's where the debate gets tricky.

Preference can either be based on your intellect and your view of it as an institution or piece of paper...

Or...

Preference can be based on religious and moral perspective.


The original question had nothing to do with marriage as more of a "guarantee" of it lasting.

Yo, bay. How are you?

Hi Goofy.

How goes?

Goin' ok, thanks. Seems to be going better than last week, anyway...so far.