I understand,what you saying makes sense,the main reason I posted this topic,is because there's two sides to that statement people always use,so it ain't always good advice,maybe if use in a certain context,but even though it's people's own choice,that's still the advice you're giving them,and obviously we can't change the person who we are,we can change stuff we do,say,act,react,ECT,that's what we mean by changing who we are,and telling ourselves that we can't change,it's kinda negative thinking,( if I'm understanding correctly some posts on here), some of us know the things that we really can't change,and the thing we want too and CAN change,a person may been lying most their whole life,you don't know that,but you'll tell them to "be yourself",tell me how does that help?

Some people said in their posts,you can only be yourself, ,people straight out say "don't change"always be yourself",and I'm saying,why not tell them to change for better and grow ECT,so it does have something to do with it!

Why tell others to change?

I don't think being yourself necessarily means to stay the same. You can be yourself and strive to be better and grow.

And this topic ain't tellin people to change,it's about people telling them not too!!

right. in that scenario, they mean dont change to satisfy someone else. it doesnt mean they want you to stagnate.

Be yourself,it sounds really good and genuine doesn't it?

sometimes, that's a load of horse chit

,it's always best for us to strive to be better,to grow

pretending to be what your not to impress other people

I'm all ear and I'm always open to learning

I'm not the one giving advice,I posted this topic because of the advice that people always give other people,"don't change,always be yourself"?

Sure.
Because it's usually used in a practical way for a specific moment in time.
Like on a date. "Just be yourself."
When people are nervous or scared sometimes they puff up like cobras in order to put forth a facade that they aren't nervous, or to try and be who the other person wants them to be in order to be liked, or as a means to deflect them and push them away.

"Just be yourself" is simply a shortcut to say "be mindful of what you are feeling and how that is influencing your behavior. Calm down. Act like you normally would, not because you are nervous, or scared, or happy and excited and your body is being flooded by hormones. Concentrate. Breathe. Be yourself."

Just like most sayings it's easier to say them rather than go through discussions like this forum, or post, to put forth an idea of what something means.

Sayings are shortcuts to something else.
Common sense concepts work through sayings. Sayings don't create common sense concepts.


Anything can be seen and proven to be a load of horse chit when you are sitting back, taking it out of its context, and picking it apart.

In a sense this entire thread is similar to: "the guy pulled into the full service gas station and told me to 'fill 'er up!' so I had sex with his wife and added an extra $50 for that service. People should be more precise with their communication. He should have said 'please put gas into my automobile by way of that pumping device inserted into the aperture provided for that purpose.' Sometimes 'fill 'er up is a load of horse chit, they don't really want you to fill 'er up."

I disagree.
I think no matter what people are going to change. Good, bad, there is no control over it.
The most you can do is be mindful of how you are changing and mitigate the consequences as you chase your desires.
I think a lot of harm has been thrust on the world by people blindly pursuing what they think will be "better" for themselves or others,in many cases taking delusion and rationalizing as "growth."


In my experience that's generally a fine line.
In many ways it's like a resume.
Few people outright lie about positions and education or degrees they never had.
Most people spin and tweak things, keeping it honest, but knowing how the other person is going to interpret it in a more positive light than it was in reality.


I'm wondering if you are open to contemplation.
Do you ever take time to integrate what you learn, what you know?
To see how it all fits together?
To see how your unconscious mind has taken everything you've learned and mashed it up into your personality constantly shifting your paradigm from new information?
IMO that is what forums are useful for.
Because everything anyone posts on here is a reflection of them, their beliefs, their intelligence, their behavior, not anyone else.
Daaammmnn,well said there,thank you for all of that,

my context of be yourself is be true to your beliefs, values or ideas.
things like learning or self improvement don't change the core essential values of a person. if someone does find a reason to change one of their fundamental ideas hopefully it came from a positive choice and not something forced upon one by others

But Ms harmony chosing to be is nt real .. real is either accepting or denying ..

Except you're telling them to tell people to change.

Point well taken,make sense,but what I'm trying to say is,sometimes who a person really is,ain't good at all,and it ain't about judging them either,so my thing is,just be careful how you advise people to not change and always be their self,the same people that make that statement wouldn't tell them,keep lying,or be yourself,keep cheating,ECT,sometimes that's who they are,why tell them NOT to change ,I'm not sayin tell them too,that's where "some people"gettin it mixed up