Silent treatment is a form of sanction that involves ignoring a paticular individual,neither speaking to that person nor responding to his or her words.We have someone around us (a partner,spouse,family members) who is fond of doing this or possibly we are the one that gives people the 'treatment'.personally,i think its wrong and even wickedness.I feel issues should be resolved ASAP,even if anyone should give the silent treatment....maximum of 5minutes to cool off and get your speech together.What do ya think? Does it help/affect a family/relationship?

For me it won't help .wether your on the giving or receiving end shutting down is bad in any relationship..even when I was a child I'd rather be yelled rather than ignored..

You're right. Yahweh bless .

Many consider ignoring / neglect to be abuse, and I agree..
I don't agree that you can only take a 5 mins tops time-out. But you have to let the other know that you need some time and that you will talk about it later.
Then you also have to do that, address the issue again, calmly, so that trust can grow, trust that when the partner needs time, it doesn't equal being ignored. And trust for the other that you will give him/her that time (and of course that time-out should not be a week).

I just call "pause".

I explain that one of two things will happen when I'm actually pissed - I walk away and distract myself with something until I'm not pissed, or I'll stand there and scream, and me angry screaming is never fun for anyone.

The whole pause thing works. Most of the time I'm not even pissed that much about what's happened, just a collaboration of minor grievances I don't focus on or even really care about either.

Anything passive-aggressive is unattractive, pointless, and fruitless.

To me; I look at a silent treatment as a cooling off period. If a person isn't talking to me; I let them be as they obviously need some time to reflect but this should be explained to the other person. There are times; you simply can't resolve things right away and if you keep pushing; the person may snap and say something that they can't take back. I have had guys give me the silent treatment and I take it with a grain of salt. I leave them be and let them talk when they are ready.

its immature to give the silent treatment.

But it never really bothered me. The way I figure.. if you don't want to talk to me then... don't

Yeah; that is how I look at it too.

no. not everyone wants to speak just because we want them to.

I find nothing wrong with 'silent treatment'. I take it as a hint to just leave someone alone.

Hehe...Same here....

the silent treatment, withdrawing, or cooling off are 3 different things.
the silent treatment is a punishment and very immature.
withdrawing into one's self is some people's way of trying not to be vulnerable. in a relationship, it can be hurtful to the relationship because the things that cause the withdrawal are usually the ones that should be shared for there to be emotional healing.
cooling off time is better because it helps to not say spiteful things in the heat of the moment. I don't know about the 5 minute rule though. it takes a lot to push me to the point if wanting to be hurtful, but when that happens, it also takes a little while for me to be able to talk about it reasonably. I won't give someone the silent treatment, but I will say I need time and can't talk about it right now.

All of this is true Ana, but even when someone says they need time to think or cool off or just rest, it can still cause hurt and resentment if the other person wants or needs to talk sooner rather than later....AND it can still be considered giving the silent treatment by the other person no matter how you preface it or how you label it...Thats why when someone clams up on me, I back off and let them make the next move...

Of course a person on the receiving end of the silent treatment will claim that the silent treatment is wrong.

I'm giving you the silent treatment right now.... ohhh.no.. ok right now...now.. right now.. okay I'm not going to talk to you until you crack..
.... okay I'm starting now..

Silent treatment is immature and stupid,especially when extended for long periods,in relationships communication is a MUST!!

hi (((((((Leigh)))))))

yes this is true that cooling off time is still hurtful, but it's less cruel than lashing out in blind anger and saying hurtful things that will be later regretted and can't be taken back.

My take on The Silent Treatment

Silent treatment in an emotional relationship. Only ok for a short time, while cooling off. Something must be worked out eventually. If nothing's worked out and the silent treatment continues, it's time to reevaluate your relationship.

Silent treatment in a friendship... same thing really. Do you want to stay friends with people who won't talk to you?

Silent treatment from forum members or otherwise site members you've had a falling out with. If you feel you wronged them, contact and apologize. If you feel you've been wronged, wait to see if they've cooled off and want to talk with you again.

Silent treatment from folks who just basically drop off the edge of the earth. Either they have their reasons not to talk with you, or truly they fell off the edge of the earth lol.

Ana

someone quick !pull my finger... come on pull my finger! quick...

....eewww..silent but "deadly".