I was having a conversation with a mingler on another thread and, out of curiosity, wondered what others thoughts were on the topic..

many use that adage “age is only a number” as a justification for their actions in dating younger (or older) partners.. I'll admit.. I oftentimes use it to justify my acting 'silly' when someone points out I should "act my age".. my problem (perhaps) is that I don't know exactly HOW a 56 year old is suPPOSED to act.. and who says I HAVE to act a certain way beCAUSE I'm 56? are we simply supposed to live up to the expectations of how society beLIEVES we should act?

in this.. I guess I could be considered a nonconformist! I've seen what "old age" can take from you.. how the body fails, yet the mind never ceases fighting the inevitable loss of self control.. and it frightens me to know I'm heading in that direction quicker than I felt about it 30 years ago.. time really DOES fly.. too fast in my books though.

I believe everyone should feel FREE to act as they feel most comfortable (within the laws of nature and justice of course).. by staying true to my character.. perhaps I AM acting my age.. but just not by what most deem "normal standards"...

my query is.. do YOU "act your age" as determined by society? OR by your OWN 'self defined' standards?

the dilemma: freedom to choose behavior and freedom to have opinions about behavior


yeah, I act 'my age' in terms of development and emotional capacity
self confidence and assuredness VS the emotional neediness and clinginess of what is usually expected of younger folks,,

I think my age is just now catching up to how I 'act' ,,,lol

If I can't be myself I don't want to be what society dictates I should be. I choose freedom from "society's dictates" rather than to become enslaved by them! That's just me though!

i don't wanna grow up , i'm a toy r us kid : )

as for myself i really don't care what people think about me
i would rather they like me but that is up to them really : )

keep your head up and treat yourself right
you have to be with yourself , for the rest of your life

Zee, msharmony, and Artemis. I think that it's more about ones developmental journey than age. There are many chronologically young... old souls. There are many chronologically old... young at heart free spirits. I'm me. Sometimes I'm an old soul, sometimes a free spirit, sometimes a little of both.

In the end, We should all be true to ourselves! I believe in living my life a certain way which conforms to my mind and not what society deems I should be according to my age. Didn't used to be that way years ago but I've learned to be young although being an old soul. But, that's just me.

I think I'll put you down as a "self defined" lol
I live my life withOUT worrying about the opinions of others.. as you've pointed out.. some develop farther than others at differing stages in the individuals life.. I feel I've acquired enough experience to allow myself to dictate my actions..

lets delve a lil deeper.. most cry's of "act your age" typically stem from that persons own 'self restraints' if you will.. trying to express their 'embarrassment' by suppressing the other's, perhaps lavish, self expression..

I'm not in this life to judge others.. as I full well know that the rights I have as an individual are not only applied to me! thus allowing that everyone has the right to dictate their own course of action in life AND how they relate to them..

by your definition, I too then 'act' my age in many ways.. but I COULD argue that AGE.. is only a number

ditto here! you GO girl!!!

Zero effected; you can act whatever age you want. My point is where do draw the line between thing young and just plain not acting your age? For instance at 56; are you going to stay up all night and party? Are you going to dress like a 19 year old? I am 54 years old myself. I work out; work with youth groups, I dress up in Halloween costumes; even go to sci fi conventions. In other words; I have fun, stay active but I can still do all this with some dignity and poise. It is different for everyone though and feel free to act whatever way you want. I am in a position where people look up to me especially in my military uniform and as a peace officer. I am expected to hold a higher standard of maturity and I can't afford to come accross as anything but professional. So; in closing behave in whatever way makes you comfortable and don't worry what others think of you.

couldn't agree more!! well spoke!


guess by now you all know which side of the fence I stand on

okay then.. sometimes you feel like a nut.. 'n sometimes ya don't??


hey techno.. yup, being yourSELF, is what it's all about

and we love you just the way you are missy

I'd play in a bouncy house too.. thanks for sharing!

the only reason I started this thread is because you got me thinking.. something I've been thinking about for MANY years yet lastly since my car accident in 1999 which (at THAT time) left me paralyzed on one side of my body.. I'm okay now and do just about EVERYthing I did before(some things even better lol).. but that's simply because I didn't allow the medical professionals to dictate how I was going to spend the rest of MY life...

when something of this magnitude disrupts our lives.. some will take a step back and analyze many parts of ourselves and ask important questions of how we FEEL about the prognosis! I'm one of those, and decided I didn't want to accept the future they were offering me.. so I made a decision, not to prove them wrong per se but, to dictate my OWN future!

during the recovery process though I migrated through many emotions.. however one realization stuck out like a sore thumb.. THIS is what old age will FEEL like.. which really sucked.. perhaps because at THAT age I wasn't ready for it? hadn't prepared OR lived life enough yet?? that may well be.. but all I know is.. IF my mind will be AS active in say 20-30 years while my body fails.. I'll be kicking and screaming till the very end LOL

however I do understand your need to act maturely.. my dad was a Sgt. Major in the Canadian Forces (as were his brothers) but in uniform or not.. he refused to 'act' in any way OTHER than himSELF!
as a Parent, we're thrust into a similar position.. that of mentor and role model.. my dad used to say 'we all have roles to play.. but sometimes you just have to put the rules away, and enjoy life a little!'


mind you.. and please don't take this the wrong way.. I don't look for permissions from anyone to be the person I'm most comfortable with..
I completely understand your perspective though!

Great question Zee ...This is how it works for me...

When I was a teenager I acted my age because my dad insisted...
When I hit my 20's I acted my age because I was a single mother with a chit load of responsibility...
During my 30's I played catchup for the mistakes I made during my 20's...
In my 40's and 50's I perfected my career, tripled my earning power and learned to love myself...
Now I feel like this....Because I earned it, my remaining years are my to enjoy and live in a way that pleases me, not society....

I quite understand where you are coming from. I had a very bad car accident in 2003 and it took me 4 years before I could walk again. It made me think alot too when my body could no longer take the abuse I put it through when I was younger. I realized that I must be better to myself; get more sleep; eat healthier, exercise more. I realized that I could no longer act like a 30 year old as when I fell; I wasn't going to bounce and would take longer to get up and longer to heal. I don't like getting older but really it isn't about what I want. Incidentially; I do enjoy life but I enjoy life as a 54 year old not a 30 year old; if you know what I am getting at. Its just I get tired of having to explain to my younger friends why people in my age group are behaving the way they do as some go to extremes to be in self-denial of their age. However; its all about perspective and society certainly can't dictate to us how we live our lives. We do need to consider how our behaviour can affect others but this can really apply to any age.

how the heck did this end up in Dating & Relationships when it has absolutely NOTHING to do with either *scratches head* hmmm..

I was pretty sure I had chosen the correct platform with General Discussions (as I wanted opinions on the topic itself )

as ever my dear.. an elegant force of nature
I'd say, definitely "self defined"

you can definitely relate then..

my realization was that I had to (and at times still do lol) respect my limitations and NOT get frustrated by the inability to advance faster than my body allowed, I had to let it work in conjunction with my mind to overcome what the doctors kept telling me I COULDN'T do.. a form of mental reconditioning if you will on my part to alter the trusted influence a medical practitioner usually has over us.. I've always eaten healthy and exercised daily, nothing strenuous mind you like going through a gym workout.. just enough to maintain a healthy balance.. however I don't believe we're alone in not wanting to get older LOL.. I'm a toys r us kid too but know WHEN to be serious!

maybe instead of explaining.. you could simply shrug your shoulders and say.. go ask THEM??

regardless of age, I've never had that question asked... perhaps because I surround myself with like minded people..?? that the thought doesn't seem to be of any importance to them? couldn't say.. but assume that because of your career, you come across a vaster variety of people on a daily basis, than I do.. my accident kinda caused my life to take a direction other then the one I was planning! I adapted, out of necessity, and had to reinvent myself by creating my own job, working from home.. so I don't have the 'social aspect' at work as most do!


how fortunate are we though, to have the freedoms and rights one has to dictate our own lives and not allow society to do that for us.. whilst some countries dictate every aspect of their own citizens! Guess I was just lucky to be born in the country I was!!

anywho.. I agree that our behavior can affect others.. I simply put my OWN self out there and others decided if they like me or not.. I can't control how others choose to perceive me.. nor will I hold back, what I feel, is the BEST me