PKH -- sorry; some people just like messin with other people's feelings. I'm new to this whole thing. I just walked away from a 9 month relationship with a guy I thought was on the level. Guess what -- he's a player in real life I've just learned. I feel your pain, but better an e-mail than someone you love doing it to you for real.

ohhh by no means is it just guys. There are plenty of girls that will say what you want to hear and then turn out that they where full of crap. Some mean it and are honest about it, some do it unintentially. Like i've been in a relastionship where they have said they where into everything i wanted, and it turned out that we had nothing in common and half the crap i liked she just hated doing.

Thing i hate most about players is it ruins it for the guys that actually do have most of the stuff in common, and genuinely want to get to know the person. Someone should write a players into letter here for the hell of it.

Sad part about it one person's definition of a player is another person's just being nice and then having it blown out of porportion or being selective. While there is someone for everyone Not everyone is for everybody. That doesn't mean you are wrong or been played because someone recognised and passed on the whole picture when they got to know you better.
If you are feeling ripped off spend less energy and invest only what you are willing to give with out return up front and I will bet you will be luckier in love.
True there are always those who just make your heart sing by responding like you found Cinderella or Prince charming but being in love with love does make you vunerable to the Toad Association members. Taking a deep breath and holding back just a little lets you see who is the real deal. Nice folks figure out they have to outlast the Rabbits in the race. The old "Winter & Summer courtship" theroy not only lets you keep from wearing your heart out but it lets you really enjoy being warm without getting burned. One thing that does seem universal to players is they have a few distinct markers.
#1 They are intense up front.
Their focus makes you the center of the
universe when they hardly know who you
are.
#2 They don't let you think about what they
say or do and demand response.
#3 They track what you do; when you work,
rest, who your friends are. They know who
will check up on them and try to impress
them or distance you from them. They call
you constantly and or buy you a pager,
phone, or computer.
#4 They are jealous.
#5 They whine that nobody loves them. Or say
they would be deleriouly happy if
somebody did.
#6 They profess to love but their is no real
time invested to prove it.
#7 They like the light to shine on them
24/7. You can stand it it as long as you
don't put them in a shadow.
#8 They tell you that you are a prize. But
you feel like a possesion.
#9 They have a history of "lost" or
abandoned loves. Previous loves
were gay,"*****es", whores, or died. Some
are legit widow(er)s but most don't use
it as "bait" or an excuse to just want
" freinds with benifits". You are being
used.
#10 Self pity or being a victim is an
undercurrent in their social
personality.
#11 They become hostile or withdraw when
you ask questions.
#13 They tell you know body has loved
them and they are over 21.
#14 Part of their intensity makes you feel
unsafe or even threatened. trust your
gut if you think you are being played
YOU ARE!
#15 They tell you others are defective for
not loving you.
#16 They tell you they are the only one who
can love you. Doesn't matter if they
add "like they do" or any other add on
it is the same message. RUN for your
LIFE!
#17 They use pets, children, or even other
friends to gain entry or stay in your
heart.
#18 They give you gifts, money, a car, a
home, or a job to make you indebted.
#19 They give your children gifts or unusual
attention. They should want to establish
your relationship before they ever spend
any time with your kids.
#20 They want to borrow anything.
#21 Last but not least if they are not
divorced, shacked up, have a same sex
room mate, or live with their parents or
siblings or adult children
they are not ready for a relationship no
matter what they say. The only exception
to that is someone who is dependent for
good reason and I would look at that
real hard.

PS im going to have to pull out the exception clause to some of that.

1. Some people click well and it can get intense and fast. Though no one should be the center of someones universe after 2 weeks...

3. exception is if there trying to find out if there a player.
2,4-6 true
7. True, unless it's a talkative woman or a silent type of guy.
8. true
9. Depending on the reasons and the time frame. If they have had 20 relastionships in the last year thats one thing, but if they have had a few where they got screwed over thats another. Also it's important if they did the dumping or where dumped.
18 and 19, could just be a really nice guy or girl that doesn't want anything in return.
21 is total bull****. I would say if they have no responsabilitys and are partying everynight there probly not ready for a serious relastionship, but being divorced, or living with a friend doesn't make you not ready. I've had same sex roomates before and it was nothing more then to have someone to hang out with and to split the bills.

Thing i have a problem with is that players ... well, they model themselfs after good sweet guys/girls with great personalitys and qualitys. A good one won't even lie about there interests. Though i think the whole posession thing is really the key to playerhood.

The emails I get randomly are so phony sometimes:

"I don't care how many kids you have... it's the love that matters"


or


"I know you don't wanna date here, but I'll change your mind."


Aside form those of you who I consider friends, I have yet to receive a heartfelt, genuine email here.

players usually have worse problems than ours, then they try to find away to feel better, that is what is call compensation. they try to compensate their void making other feel bad or playing with their feelings. This kind of people behave in such a way due to a pathologic frame.
We just need to be aware that the wolf dresses as a sheep to disguise the real sheep.
For me is just a psychological game, and i have the power to choose to fall for it or keep myself away from it.

Lucky for you, Walker.

See my biggest issue is that I've been burnt so badly in the pastm no matter how hard I try, the minute someone gets too close, I shut down and back away. I'm getting better about it... but it's really hard to allow people to cross that line. Players suck... and I'm not a big fan of those people looking for a "real woman" or a "real man"... what is that supposed to mean, anyway? We all have defects and flaws, and that's what makes each of us beautiful: the differences we have. HOWEVER... Players, along with liars, cheaters and deabeat parents... they need to be shot on site. (Not that I have an opinon.)

singing girl:
i've been told too many times that i use my brain too much in a relationship, that i need to put my heart in it. That I overanalyze things. I've been like that since my first failure were i put my heart, and she left me, went with other guy in less that a week, got pregnant, got married, and then divorced in less than 18 months, and after all that mess she called me and she told me that she missed me. I just said tha hell with that.
Everytime i'm getting close to someone, and I'm sorry to say my brain is let's say "my explorer," and it does not mean i don't care for that person i just release the heart little by little.
but at the same time when i see cold behaviors, my heart starts backing out by itself.
I don't allow players to get close to me, but it does not mean that i close myself to somebody who seems to be genuine.
I just have time for one failure in each thing i'm able to fail in my life.
And this failure i commit was when i was 19.

You're talkin' to the girl who got married at 19... to a guy 2 yrs older... pregnant a month after the fact... VERY rocky all the way through... left him when our son was 10 mos old because I cought him in bed with my brother's 16 yr old gf. (My brother still does not talk to me as a result, because apparently I was lying to him because I didn't like her...)... then at 23, I was dating this guy for a few months... found out I was pregnant... married him at 2 months pregnant... he left me a year and a half after that- cleaned out ever asset we had. Left me with a medical condition, 2 kids, no money, no income & nowhere to go. I slept on the floor of my mother's living room while I worked parttime as a cocktail waitress to have cash to buy diapers and necessities because I had no reliable sitting to get a fulltime job. It took until JUNE 2006 (a year and a half after the 2nd guy walked) to actually stand up on my feet enough to have my own apartment and a REAL BED... and a place where my kids could play and be kids.
My biggest issue now is that after going through all of that I don't want ANYONE to mess it up or take it away.
I've been the doormat, the sucker and the fool. I wear my heart out on my sleeve and I'd give my lunch and my last dollar to the bum on the bus... it's a great thing to do, but it leaves much room for jerks to weasel in and take advantage of a situation.
I dunno... guess we all have a story.

ur last sentence contains a lot of truth

I may be young... but I understand a lot of things most people take a lifetime to see. I guess I'm fortnate in the aspect that I can learn from my mistakes... make myself more aware of what is out there. I try not to be judgemental of other people or unintentionally blame them for what my exes put me through... but I also know that your true friends and anyone who truly loves you will accept the good and the bad that is you and stay there to help you, as opposed to walking away or turnign a deaf ear.

a lot of love for u my friend
now i'm going to my psychology class, to see if i learn to be less retarded.
see ya

I HATE "players" they give all us nice (desperate) guys bad names

I'MA PLAYER...AND