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| Topic: How do you tell a guy .. | |
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Now you're being difficult, Tall One ..
I don't whinge about my heart when you talk about dinner dates and don't even ask me out now, do I?  .. I'll take good care of your heart 
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Awwww.. I know you will angel..
. you had the key to my heart !!.from the beginning..   
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And I'm sticking that key between my boobs for safe keeping ..
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Mmmmm...ohhhh.. I could not think of a safer place for.it..mmmm..
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No answer, is an answer. Or be politely truthful.
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48 yo and you don't know what to do? Someone is looking for a little attention here :)
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that you're not really interested without hurting his ego or feelings? In both scenarios: - he either has a love interest - he may not have a love interest, but just likes to go out, as in have a good time I keep ending up in these situations where men keep texting or Apping me to meet again, because they had such a great time. I'm flattered, I guess I'm doing something right, lol, but doesn't mean that I want to spend more time with them. Just now got this message from a bloke asking me when he could see me again, cos he'd had such a good time. And again find myself thinking 'how the he(k do I tell him?' It's hard to do because no matter how you do it they are gonna get butt hurt. But the thing is they will move on and find someone else to bother. However...with that said....the most effective way to tell them is by holding an axe in your hand and saying, "If you don't believe I am not into you then it could get messy. See the blood dripping from the blade. Hint hint". 
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Edited by
mysticalview21
on
Wed 10/29/14 11:52 AM
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I would be straight up with them op... yes we had a nice time but I only see you as a good friend now ...nothing more ... thanks anyway or go with moving to Brazil or Beijing might sound better
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that you're not really interested without hurting his ego or feelings? In both scenarios: - he either has a love interest - he may not have a love interest, but just likes to go out, as in have a good time I keep ending up in these situations where men keep texting or Apping me to meet again, because they had such a great time. I'm flattered, I guess I'm doing something right, lol, but doesn't mean that I want to spend more time with them. Just now got this message from a bloke asking me when he could see me again, cos he'd had such a good time. And again find myself thinking 'how the he(k do I tell him?'   have a great day  
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.. well right now.. just meet him and tell him you just came back from Africa.. start coughing a lot.. ask him to put his hand on your forehead to see if you're running a fever.....
.... you probably wouldn't have to say much after that....hmm..... too soon is it..?.. yeah that's what I thought too.. 
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.. well right now.. just meet him and tell him you just came back from Africa.. start coughing a lot.. ask him to put his hand on your forehead to see if you're running a fever..... .... you probably wouldn't have to say much after that....hmm..... too soon is it..?.. yeah that's what I thought too..  
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Two years ago this guy wants to court me but I don't like him , I guess his married.
I told him, don't bother me for coming to my work I'm already married.He said I don't believed you I did not see your husband since you work here. I said his in military and assign in Basilan ,Mindanao ,so I'm the one who go there for a visit.I guess his scared and never bother me until now. |
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Two years ago this guy wants to court me but I don't like him , I guess his married. I told him, don't bother me for coming to my work I'm already married.He said I don't believed you I did not see your husband since you work here. I said his in military and assign in Basilan ,Mindanao ,so I'm the one who go there for a visit.I guess his scared and never bother me until now. hmm.. I really don't like lying but have to say I once did tell a guy I was seeing someone else. He started to seriously creep me out, kept hassling me and unfortunately he knew where I lived. Didn't help though ... so in the end I just gave him a piece of my mind. Worked for some months, but the other day he sent me a message online again  Don't think Ebola would deter him tbh, this bloke still has me mildly concerned at times .. Maybe I should put a blood dripping axe near the front door 
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that you're not really interested without hurting his ego or feelings? In both scenarios: - he either has a love interest - he may not have a love interest, but just likes to go out, as in have a good time I keep ending up in these situations where men keep texting or Apping me to meet again, because they had such a great time. I'm flattered, I guess I'm doing something right, lol, but doesn't mean that I want to spend more time with them. Just now got this message from a bloke asking me when he could see me again, cos he'd had such a good time. And again find myself thinking 'how the he(k do I tell him?' You can't! A few girls have tried and it normally ends up with me at the bottom of a bottle. be direct and honest, and it will be better for both sides. this I know from experience, and from all the nice folks here at Mingle. |
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that you're not really interested without hurting his ego or feelings? That's a scary question. You are basically asking "How can I manipulate a guy to make sure he doesn't judge me for harming him just enough to get him to go away?" This question is asked a lot, by both men and women. Of course people have been answering this question in practical ways for a very long time. It's pretty easy. 1. You lie, knowing how they will emotionally react to it, or just painting a picture where there's only one outcome. 2. You only date a-holes so you can ultimately lay all blame on them. 3. You find some other way to hurt them, sometimes a lesser hurt to avoid the bigger one, sometimes a bigger hurt to them to mask the smaller hurt of guilt to yourself. 4. Try to accept blame and make yourself feel bad, in penance, flagellation, i.e. "it's not you, it's me." Those are pretty simple to figure out, though. So I'm wondering if you are really asking the question in the OP or are you just trying to get moral support from internet strangers because you have this self image of being a "good" person but you have to do what you'd judge as "bad" things and have no desire to accept responsibility for that behavior because it might conflict with how you perceive yourself. Then, the answer is even more simple if you just realize that there is no such thing as an absolute "good" person. That every human being is going to cause harm to another no matter what you do, no matter how nice and civilized you are, you can't guarantee how another person is going to emotionally react or feel, and you have to just find what works for you, what your own psyche can feel comfortable with. |
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that you're not really interested without hurting his ego or feelings? That's a scary question. You are basically asking "How can I manipulate a guy to make sure he doesn't judge me for harming him just enough to get him to go away?" This question is asked a lot, by both men and women. Of course people have been answering this question in practical ways for a very long time. It's pretty easy. 1. You lie, knowing how they will emotionally react to it, or just painting a picture where there's only one outcome. 2. You only date a-holes so you can ultimately lay all blame on them. 3. You find some other way to hurt them, sometimes a lesser hurt to avoid the bigger one, sometimes a bigger hurt to them to mask the smaller hurt of guilt to yourself. 4. Try to accept blame and make yourself feel bad, in penance, flagellation, i.e. "it's not you, it's me." Those are pretty simple to figure out, though. So I'm wondering if you are really asking the question in the OP or are you just trying to get moral support from internet strangers because you have this self image of being a "good" person but you have to do what you'd judge as "bad" things and have no desire to accept responsibility for that behavior because it might conflict with how you perceive yourself. Then, the answer is even more simple if you just realize that there is no such thing as an absolute "good" person. That every human being is going to cause harm to another no matter what you do, no matter how nice and civilized you are, you can't guarantee how another person is going to emotionally react or feel, and you have to just find what works for you, what your own psyche can feel comfortable with. Why are you complaining? If people didn't ask questions on here you wouldn't be able to lecture them. |
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When delivering "negative" messages use the sandwich approach.
Say something positive/then the negative message/then another positive.
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that you're not really interested without hurting his ego or feelings? That's a scary question. You are basically asking "How can I manipulate a guy to make sure he doesn't judge me for harming him just enough to get him to go away?" This question is asked a lot, by both men and women. Of course people have been answering this question in practical ways for a very long time. It's pretty easy. 1. You lie, knowing how they will emotionally react to it, or just painting a picture where there's only one outcome. 2. You only date a-holes so you can ultimately lay all blame on them. 3. You find some other way to hurt them, sometimes a lesser hurt to avoid the bigger one, sometimes a bigger hurt to them to mask the smaller hurt of guilt to yourself. 4. Try to accept blame and make yourself feel bad, in penance, flagellation, i.e. "it's not you, it's me." Those are pretty simple to figure out, though. So I'm wondering if you are really asking the question in the OP or are you just trying to get moral support from internet strangers because you have this self image of being a "good" person but you have to do what you'd judge as "bad" things and have no desire to accept responsibility for that behavior because it might conflict with how you perceive yourself. Then, the answer is even more simple if you just realize that there is no such thing as an absolute "good" person. That every human being is going to cause harm to another no matter what you do, no matter how nice and civilized you are, you can't guarantee how another person is going to emotionally react or feel, and you have to just find what works for you, what your own psyche can feel comfortable with. Why are you complaining? If people didn't ask questions on here you wouldn't be able to lecture them. some people just like to play doctor.
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Edited by
fleta_n_mach
on
Wed 10/29/14 06:25 PM
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that you're not really interested without hurting his ego or feelings? That's a scary question. You are basically asking "How can I manipulate a guy to make sure he doesn't judge me for harming him just enough to get him to go away?" This question is asked a lot, by both men and women. Of course people have been answering this question in practical ways for a very long time. It's pretty easy. 1. You lie, knowing how they will emotionally react to it, or just painting a picture where there's only one outcome. 2. You only date a-holes so you can ultimately lay all blame on them. 3. You find some other way to hurt them, sometimes a lesser hurt to avoid the bigger one, sometimes a bigger hurt to them to mask the smaller hurt of guilt to yourself. 4. Try to accept blame and make yourself feel bad, in penance, flagellation, i.e. "it's not you, it's me." Those are pretty simple to figure out, though. So I'm wondering if you are really asking the question in the OP or are you just trying to get moral support from internet strangers because you have this self image of being a "good" person but you have to do what you'd judge as "bad" things and have no desire to accept responsibility for that behavior because it might conflict with how you perceive yourself. Then, the answer is even more simple if you just realize that there is no such thing as an absolute "good" person. That every human being is going to cause harm to another no matter what you do, no matter how nice and civilized you are, you can't guarantee how another person is going to emotionally react or feel, and you have to just find what works for you, what your own psyche can feel comfortable with. Why are you complaining? If people didn't ask questions on here you wouldn't be able to lecture them. That's donkeypunch from DH, he never goes back to check responses or messages. It's his therapy, he always said. Doesn't the ole, "I have a headache.", work? |
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