Topic: Long Distance Relationship .doesn't work ?
no1phD's photo
Tue 10/14/14 09:05 PM
Hmm.. for me ! I don't see how it can work.. I'm a very physical person...
.. I want to hold, touch, kiss my lover everyday... I want to take her out for dinner... even just go have a glass of wine ,at the end of the work day...
.. I want to call her up and say hey let's go for a walk in the park.. it is such a beautiful day.... what do you think about seeing that movie this weekend.... let's say a relationship is 50% conversation.. and 10% visual..
. the remaining 50%.. is the physical...

... I really don't want to be in a 60%..relationship..... I know that adds up to a hundred and ten percent....

.. that's because that's what I put into A relationship..110%...all the time..24/7......

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no1phD's photo
Tue 10/14/14 09:22 PM
Awww... but sweetheart !will always have the 60&.... and 60 %of you is better then...0%... sweetheart..

no photo
Tue 10/14/14 11:44 PM
Edited by fleta_n_mach on Tue 10/14/14 11:45 PM
...have to close the gap sooner or later. Somebody has to move.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 10/15/14 02:10 AM

...have to close the gap sooner or later. Somebody has to move.

Yep ... but quite a risk for the one who will have to move ... You'd have to leave everything behind and if it doesn't work out ... you're left with nothing, literally. Unless you store your stuff, you won't even have a bed to sleep in, a towel to dry yourself with after a shower...

My girl has done it, got her green-card, but getting & keeping it, depends on her marriage. So they had to get married straight away, even though they didn't know each other all that well yet ... and if her marriage falls apart, she'll have to leave the country ... So in that sense she's totally dependent of her husband. I wouldn't like that feeling, would take a lot of trust for me. A man could manipulate/blackmail you with that ...
So if I felt it was true love, I'd be willing to take the risk, I think, not 100% certain ... I've lived abroad in the past, so I have a pretty good idea what it entails, many ppl don't. But it is a huge risk ... mostly for the one that will have to move ...

no photo
Wed 10/15/14 04:32 AM
It is absolutely true that every one would like to spend time with their loved ones and it is 100% true as you all suggested.

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SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 10/15/14 05:41 AM

It is absolutely true that every one would like to spend time with their loved ones and it is 100% true as you all suggested.

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If that site from the links works as well as the matching gadgets on dating-sites ...
You gotta log in with FB, Twitter etc ... I never do that.

no photo
Wed 10/15/14 07:54 AM


...have to close the gap sooner or later. Somebody has to move.

Yep ... but quite a risk for the one who will have to move ... You'd have to leave everything behind and if it doesn't work out ... you're left with nothing, literally. Unless you store your stuff, you won't even have a bed to sleep in, a towel to dry yourself with after a shower...

My girl has done it, got her green-card, but getting & keeping it, depends on her marriage. So they had to get married straight away, even though they didn't know each other all that well yet ... and if her marriage falls apart, she'll have to leave the country ... So in that sense she's totally dependent of her husband. I wouldn't like that feeling, would take a lot of trust for me. A man could manipulate/blackmail you with that ...
So if I felt it was true love, I'd be willing to take the risk, I think, not 100% certain ... I've lived abroad in the past, so I have a pretty good idea what it entails, many ppl don't. But it is a huge risk ... mostly for the one that will have to move ...


yep. Huge risk. Might as well have a summer vacation home out of the other home then since family live around here. I have remodeling left to do. A new roof yet, a couple floors in the living room and kitchen yet. Might as well just keep the pipes from freezing instead of paying for storage. Dunno. Will see in 6 weeks.

no photo
Wed 10/15/14 09:33 AM
Edited by Torgo70 on Wed 10/15/14 09:31 AM

...have to close the gap sooner or later. Somebody has to move.


Yep. I lucked out as she even before I knew her had always wanted to live in Oregon. I was just the incentive to finally get her to make the move.
But if it came down to it I would have made the move to her state. Granted we're both in the same country. Those from different countries that's a whole other thing, and an even bigger commitment and change one has to make.

If neither is willing to move, an LDR is a waste of time, and it's something that should be discussed early on.

sherr123's photo
Fri 10/17/14 12:11 PM
A lot of discipline, commitment and trust

sherr123's photo
Fri 10/17/14 12:13 PM
A lot of discipline, commitment and trust

no photo
Fri 10/17/14 01:40 PM
Edited by NoMindGamesPlease on Fri 10/17/14 01:44 PM
Since I entered so called dating scene after becoming a widow with over 20 years of marriage behind me, I still learn as I go. Long term relationships do not seem to work for me for reasons no1phD explained so well.

Some people do not want to take their time to get to know others. They seem to either lack patience or simply want instant results, some kind of a relationship-on-demand in which they replaced remote control with "a little black book" stored on the smart phone.

For example, I didn't realise that some people who expect hot sex on a first date find me old fashioned and too conservative because I do not have any specific rule about first dates, but I do give myself time to make certain moves. If not doing it because it doesn't feel right makes me old fashioned and too conservative in eyes of those who want it all and want it now, so be it.

I learned not to waste time and energy on explaining. If chemistry is not there - it's simply not there. It's not anybody's fault and a sudden cease of all communication by the other side doesn't bother me at all.

It is just like no reply from someone on the forum. It wouldn't work, so there are no reasons for any hard feelings.
However, there is no need to keep a contact number either, or to try to send a message after a while.

" A little black book" is just a book of names and numbers, but it takes being more than one of the names in it in order to be called by someone just because this person feels lonely, horny or ... whatever and wants to test the luck again.
If the message comes much later, well ... no hard feelings, but no reply either.

That's one of the lessons I have learned so far. Still learning. And still do not believe in long dstance relatioships.


mysticalview21's photo
Fri 10/17/14 01:53 PM
Edited by mysticalview21 on Fri 10/17/14 01:57 PM

...have to close the gap sooner or later. Somebody has to move.



I agree... both have to aim for a future together
or will not work and meet in person first ... but I guess the web cams can bring others together more now a days...
but does go back ...to one may have to move for the other ...
sometimes very easy ... sometimes not ...if the love is there for each other...
I have heard more bad stories then good ones after they have met ... but can work if both work at it ... good luck op ...

no photo
Fri 10/17/14 01:53 PM


...have to close the gap sooner or later. Somebody has to move.


Yep. I lucked out as she even before I knew her had always wanted to live in Oregon. I was just the incentive to finally get her to make the move.
But if it came down to it I would have made the move to her state. Granted we're both in the same country. Those from different countries that's a whole other thing, and an even bigger commitment and change one has to make.

If neither is willing to move, an LDR is a waste of time, and it's something that should be discussed early on.



Exactly!

Chumsri's photo
Fri 10/17/14 07:47 PM
thanks for all comments..

19robert54's photo
Fri 10/17/14 11:16 PM
Long distance relationship is sometimes like a fantasy u can make it what ever you like. Do what is making you happy. If its over sea relationship NEVER EVER SEND MONEY!!!! Even if they don't ask don't send. This goes for men and women there are men scamming women also. Many times they don't ask there's a book that teaches how to make others feel sorry to get you to send. Be careful. They give reason u should send. Don't send money!!

nicavillasista's photo
Sat 10/18/14 12:34 AM
Of course it could work if you two really loves each other ..trust and loyalty is a must !!!!:wink:

smithmercy303's photo
Sat 10/18/14 03:54 AM
It depend on how much you both love and trust each other

ehfaaz's photo
Sat 10/18/14 12:24 PM
Reletionship continues on trustt and honestyy of your partner dear not on distance

ehfaaz's photo
Sat 10/18/14 12:25 PM
True linesss ....
Had you ever lovedd???

no photo
Sat 10/18/14 04:25 PM
it doesn't work! so don't even give it a try! u will be just losing ur precious time