How the hell do you do it? 43 single after 23 years and I can't figure it out. If your reserved your a prude and they split, If they talk some kind of game and you give it back to them they split. WTF have men lost their minds. What the hell do you want?

I've been stood up three times. I'm left wondering, Did I say something wrong, or not say something right.

Lol you said it,it's just a game to some,plain and simple!!

attraction is not logical its emotional and each is not poo free so in the game of social intercourse it is hit

and miss---the only person you can do anything about is yourself---someone very dear to me once said

to me '' the better i become the better people i will attract '' its about getting our act together---ITS

ALL ABOUT '' OUR BELIEF SYSTEM ABOUT OURSELVES AND OTHERS ''---THE MOST IMPORTANT

RELATIONSHIP YOU WILL EVER HAVE IS THE ONE YOU HAVE WITH YOURSELF---YOU ARE NOT ALONE MOST

PUT THE BLAME '' OUT THERE'' INSTEAD OF SEEING THERE PART---

whats wrong op ... I have not found the right one for me ...and have not been putting my self out there enough either ...so some of that is my fault too...

True ,same here!

It is indeed difficult, especially if you haven't been playing the field for such a long time.
I think the best you can do is simply be yourself. And sure you can play and flirt, but do it in a way that suits you and your personality. Don't try to be what you think the other person wants you to be. That way if you do find someone interested in you, chances are higher that it will lead to something.
Just have a bit of fun, play with it, might take a few 'guinea pigs' and 'falling flat on your face' to find your mojo again.
And it does help a lot to figure out what it is you want, even per moment. If you're after a hot date, it won't help to be reserved. And don't waste time on men you wouldn't want anything with. Save it for the men with potential.

But so the issue is, they talk to you for 4 or 5 days like it's all about you and then poof they blow you off and there gone. What is that at this age, I mean at least have the courtesy to say hey I'm not feelin it.

Men have short attention spans. We try so hard to keep the convo going and we even throw in intelligent convo (such as crock pot recipes, salon tips, etc) and then it hits that fifth day and......oh look a unicorn!

I know that is obviously frustrating you,but look at the bright side,you found out sooner as oppose to being in a relationship further down,that they were that type of person,for me,the sooner I sniff you out the better,so yeah,you should look at it that way to!!

I don't know, had that happen a couple of times as well. Once or twice I asked what was up, no reply. Rather rude if you ask me.
All I can say is, don't expect too much too soon. Women tend to put all their eggs in one basket, men usually don't.

Perhaps those rough edges are too rough for the men you've dated. And you excpect only few to make it through the gauntlet anyway so, It looks like it goes pretty much as you expected before. I guess you need to work though lot of material to find these few for your soft side.

By not treating it as a game.


Men online want 1 of 3 things.

1. To just talk for a while and feel desired.
2. To get you to chase them and emotionally validate them/have sex with them. Same thing.
3. Stop talking online, get off the computer, and date.

Same thing as everyone on here wants.
If we're going to generalize.


If a man approached you in public he would either set up a date immediately after a brief conversation and continued desire, or he'd ask for your number to call you to remind you who he is and ask you out on a date.

It's only men that are afraid of women that will sit on the phone or computer and chat chat chat.
That will try to "get to know you" over 4 or 5 days.

If men aren't asking you out, to meet up, then they are either afraid of you, thereby pretty much guaranteeing they will run away at some point, or they are not attracted to you.
At best, either way, they will sit and chat with you.


If it's all about you, then they are blowing smoke up your ***.
Men that are interested in you want you to know them just as much as they want to know about you, so you can see how "right" they are for you. It will not be all about you.

Those that make it all about you are paying you with attention in the hopes that you will feel socially obligated to return the favor and give them what they want.

If you keep most positively responding to men that make it all about you, then you are ultimately saying that's what you want and that is what you will continue to get.


What could be more clear than not saying anything at all?
In my experience people have a difficult time saying they are "not feelin it" with absolute clarity and conviction, as a lot, to most, people will hear/read "I'm not feeling it...now...but maybe later," or, "I'm judging you and I want you to attack me."

Simply disappearing leads little room to doubt what they are saying by their actions. If you can't accept or understand what disappearing means, then saying "I'm not feelin it" and continuing the interaction isn't going to change anything.