Community > Jokes & Funny Stories

Topic: I need sum Short, Funny as heck Jokes - help-LOL!
Rubicat Joined Sun 07/20/14 Posts: 103	Wed 09/24/14 09:50 AM
Two eggs get married. in honeymoom suite girl egg goes to bathroom and puts on sexy negligee and comes out then boy egg goes in and comes out with crash helmet on. Girl" Whats that for?" Boy "Well everytime I get hard someone hits me on the head with a spoon"

larsonc Joined Fri 06/20/14 Posts: 2377	Wed 09/24/14 10:24 AM
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket to find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same church and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking the husband cries out, "WATCH OUT FOR THE WALL"

stoutale Joined Mon 04/14/14 Posts: 274	Wed 09/24/14 01:45 PM
what did the egg say to the boiling water.. I cant get hard now I just got laid

Queenbee Joined Sat 01/13/07 Posts: 1746	Wed 09/24/14 03:43 PM
Oh my!!! LOL!!

TBRich Joined Fri 11/07/08 Posts: 8232	Wed 09/24/14 06:36 PM
Q::What's invisible and smells like worms? A: A bird's fart

larsonc Joined Fri 06/20/14 Posts: 2377	Thu 09/25/14 11:16 AM
The Boston Globe reported today that Monica Lewinsky, depressed after the media comments about her figure, and wanting a new image, reported to a plastic surgeon for removal of her love handles. She emerged two days later with no ears.

Torgo70 Joined Fri 06/27/08 Posts: 27387	Thu 09/25/14 12:30 PM


larsonc Joined Fri 06/20/14 Posts: 2377	Fri 09/26/14 11:41 AM
An elderly gent was invited to his old friends home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms-calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years, and they were still very clearly in love. While the wife was off in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his buddy, I think it's wonderful that, after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those loving pet names. The old man hung his head. I have to tell you the truth, he said. I forgot her name about ten years ago.

funkyfranky Joined Tue 05/01/12 Posts: 5966	Fri 09/26/14 11:42 AM
What do you call a lady with a really bad disease. Ivy Bowler

RoboJoe Joined Thu 09/20/12 Posts: 55	Fri 09/26/14 06:30 PM
2 guys walked into a bar. Which is really stupid 'cause you'd think that after the first guy walked right into it, the second guy would have seen it. :D :ll

Queenbee Joined Sat 01/13/07 Posts: 1746	Sat 09/27/14 10:16 AM
Q::What's invisible and smells like worms? A: A bird's fart yikes!!!

Queenbee Joined Sat 01/13/07 Posts: 1746	Sat 09/27/14 10:32 AM
An elderly gent was invited to his old friends home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms-calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years, and they were still very clearly in love. While the wife was off in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his buddy, I think it's wonderful that, after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those loving pet names. The old man hung his head. I have to tell you the truth, he said. I forgot her name about ten years ago. Ha! Ha! Hee!!! I really like this JOKE!!!

Queenbee Joined Sat 01/13/07 Posts: 1746	Sat 09/27/14 10:34 AM
2 guys walked into a bar. Which is really stupid 'cause you'd think that after the first guy walked right into it, the second guy would have seen it. :D :ll Oh my!!! & LOL!!!

uzoka12 Joined Sat 09/27/14 Posts: 1	Sat 09/27/14 11:18 PM
Becomes those men are afraid to get hurt

Havetimeforachat Joined Tue 09/23/14 Posts: 3	Sat 09/27/14 11:32 PM
Here is a knock knock joke... Say knock knock...

Queenbee Joined Sat 01/13/07 Posts: 1746	Sun 09/28/14 12:12 PM
Here is a knock knock joke... Say knock knock... huh???

Gregakagreg Joined Mon 09/15/14 Posts: 76	Tue 10/21/14 04:41 PM
What do you call a lady with a really bad disease. Ivy Bowler Took me a while to get that one until I tried it with a brit accent. So here is one from Minnesota: It was a hot day in Minnesota. So Lena decided to walk into town to get dinner meat for Nils, her husband. As she walked to the market she approached a barroom and thought to herself." Sheesh it's a really hot day maybe I should have a mug of ze cold beer". She walked in and sat down at the bar. The bartender approached her and asked what she would like. She replied "I tink I'll have ze cold beer." With that the bartender replied "Anhauser Busch"? And she replied "Fine und howz der pecker too"?

Queenbee Joined Sat 01/13/07 Posts: 1746	Tue 10/21/14 07:51 PM
2 guys walked into a bar. Which is really stupid 'cause you'd think that after the first guy walked right into it, the second guy would have seen it. :D :ll like really duh!

Queenbee Joined Sat 01/13/07 Posts: 1746	Tue 10/21/14 07:53 PM
Here is a knock knock joke... Say knock knock... cute! & knock knock

Queenbee Joined Sat 01/13/07 Posts: 1746	Tue 10/21/14 07:53 PM
What do you call a lady with a really bad disease. Ivy Bowler Took me a while to get that one until I tried it with a brit accent. So here is one from Minnesota: It was a hot day in Minnesota. So Lena decided to walk into town to get dinner meat for Nils, her husband. As she walked to the market she approached a barroom and thought to herself." Sheesh it's a really hot day maybe I should have a mug of ze cold beer". She walked in and sat down at the bar. The bartender approached her and asked what she would like. She replied "I tink I'll have ze cold beer." With that the bartender replied "Anhauser Busch"? And she replied "Fine und howz der pecker too"?