I've just got out of a 15 year marriage. I wasn't always the good one in the marriage. I messed up, drugs, alcohol even stepped out once early n the marriage. But I learned from my mistakes and paid my dues. My ex always threw all my past up n my face with her holier than though atitude. But I busted my A#% to right all my wrongs. The only thing I regreted was the time lost with my daughters when they were babies. But I swore I would do right and never hurt my family again. So as my girls grew.. As did I. My oldest girl is 13 now and my youngest is 9. And they r my heart and soul. I have spent every second I could with them when I was given my second chance and because of my dedication to their lives I have two of the biggest daddy's girls. After their mom would bash me about something I did a million years ago and my girls would ask me about it I was honest and open with them. And they forgave me. Kids r so forgiving why can't we adults be like that?... anyway.. but my dedication and sacrifice has made me the man I am today. And when my 2 girls sat down with my ex a few weeks ago and told her that they wanna live with me and not her... I was the most gratifying moment of my life. All the bad that I had done early n their lives had just been erased from my memory. So moms or dad's that r beating ur selves up because of ur past and feel u can't make it right I'm here to tell u that u can. Trust me. Be open and honest with ur kids they'll listen and forgive. Just try with everything u are not to repeat those mistakes. Being a parent is the hardest job. But being a kid can be also. Your child is a piece of u. Take pride in that. Make them the person the deserve to be. Your past can't dictate who u can be.

Good luck brother.

I second panchos well wishes

I also warn, that with children, it is not uncommon for the parent who has primary custody, who they primarily live with to be seen as the disciplinarian/hard one, and the one they visit to be seen as the fun one that spoils them and sends them back

which makes it not uncommon for them to state a desire to live with the other parent

this is not always the case and not necessarily yours, but just be prepared to someday, maybe, be in the same position your ex is in when it comes to where the kids say they want to be,,,


full time parenting aint easy,,,,but hopefully you both always work together for the best of the kids,,,

You know that's why I guess I was a little taken by them tellin her that. Cuz I am the disciplinary. But I think there was a song about that. Daddys hands were hard as steel when I done wrong but daddy's hand were soft n kind when I was cryin.... something to that effect. But no... to be honest and I always told myself that when I became a father that I would try a remember being a kid. So that's helped. Cuz there is some things they've done that I was gonna get the belt r give them a good talkin to... but I just stopped for a moment and remembered and looked at some things for their perspective and I was able to laugh. Cuz as parents sometimes we take out our frustrations of the day r with our spouse out on them and that's not fair. Cuz when we r aggravated about something then every little thing they do drives us crazy. It's not their fault our boss is an a#% hole or our bills r higher than they should be. Remember they're kids. Sometimes u just have to stop and look at the world through their eyes

all the best. i definitly hope it all works out for you. :) you are a lucky guy.

OP, probably depends on what the dance is in celebration of...

Are you celebrating that you'll have your children with you and that they love you despite of - and forgiven - your past discretions?

Sure...dance away!


Are you celebrating that they don't believe That B****, they hate her and can't wait to get away from her?


Nahhhhh...not so much.


And that stands no matter WHY she danced when SHE got custody.



Best of luck...continue to enjoy and love your daughters every minute you can; you'd be surprised how soon they grow up and out of the house and you're left with weekly/monthly/yearly catch-ups on hugs.