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Topic: divorce
daybreak112's photo
Sat 08/16/14 12:11 PM
Why is it that there are so many failed marrieges these days? more divorce than before, what are they not doing right?

no photo
Sat 08/16/14 12:13 PM
Edited by Criollo99 on Sat 08/16/14 12:15 PM
more people?
men more annoying?
women more annoying?

BTW, welcome, bienvenido(a), bienvenue to mingle2. Join the forums and get to know people.

no photo
Sat 08/16/14 01:16 PM
Here's my thoughts on the issue;

I'm still married, but it's not good. Have been married for 28 years and have remained faithful throughout. I'm here on this site looking now though.

Quite honestly marriage is frustrating. The temptation that's out there, and the trials & tribulations you have to go through to stay married and raise a family are difficult to overcome. My wife actually proposed to me. I was young and not very worldly at the time, had not dated many people, but didn't want to lose her, so I agreed. We were both so young. Also came from a strong Catholic upbringing that stressed no messing around.

We had some really great years. We really did, but we have now grown apart. Our children (2 girls) are bitter that we don't ever seem to get along any more and have sided with my wife over me, fueling the resentment between us even more. We have tried numerous times to get the excitement back, but there's just no spark. Our two kids are now grown and pretty much on their own and we're left with a boring and unexciting relationship. She's asleep on the couch by 8:30 every night. I'm still way too young at heart for that kind of lifestyle. Have tried counseling but no help. Guess that's why I'm on this site now. I miss the excitement of having someone special to be with.

I really believe part of the problem for the younger generation today also is that times have changed. Women don't need a husband to take care of them any more. Women can have it all now, a career, kids, multiple relationships and so on, without ever getting married, and guys don't need to commit when women are so independent, so why get married? Really doesn't make any sense any more unless you want two incomes and want to raise a family together or just can't stand to be alone. People also now live a lot longer today than before. Staying with the same person for 60 years is really unrealistic. When marriage began, people lived till about 40. Now people commonly live to 80. You're stuck with the same person for 60 years. Lol Maybe you should have to renew your marriage license like you do your drivers license. Lol.

I'm sure there are many many exceptions to my comments and lots of people love being married, but if I had a chance to do it all again, knowing what I know now, things would be entirely different.

Thanks for reading, please don't condemn me for my thoughts on this subject. Just telling my view on the issue. I hope this doesn't discourage anyone from marrying someone they really love and can't stand to be without. Just don't jump into it as a leap of faith as I did.

bashajones's photo
Sat 08/16/14 01:23 PM

Here's my thoughts on the issue;

I'm still married, but it's not good. Have been married for 28 years and have remained faithful throughout. I'm here on this site looking now though.

Quite honestly marriage is frustrating. The temptation that's out there, and the trials & tribulations you have to go through to stay married and raise a family are difficult to overcome. My wife actually proposed to me. I was young and not very worldly at the time, had not dated many people, but didn't want to lose her, so I agreed. We were both so young. Also came from a strong Catholic upbringing that stressed no messing around.

We had some really great years. We really did, but we have now grown apart. Our children (2 girls) are bitter that we don't ever seem to get along any more and have sided with my wife over me, fueling the resentment between us even more. We have tried numerous times to get the excitement back, but there's just no spark. Our two kids are now grown and pretty much on their own and we're left with a boring and unexciting relationship. She's asleep on the couch by 8:30 every night. I'm still way too young at heart for that kind of lifestyle. Have tried counseling but no help. Guess that's why I'm on this site now. I miss the excitement of having someone special to be with.

I really believe part of the problem for the younger generation today also is that times have changed. Women don't need a husband to take care of them any more. Women can have it all now, a career, kids, multiple relationships and so on, without ever getting married, and guys don't need to commit when women are so independent, so why get married? Really doesn't make any sense any more unless you want two incomes and want to raise a family together or just can't stand to be alone. People also now live a lot longer today than before. Staying with the same person for 60 years is really unrealistic. When marriage began, people lived till about 40. Now people commonly live to 80. You're stuck with the same person for 60 years. Lol Maybe you should have to renew your marriage license like you do your drivers license. Lol.

I'm sure there are many many exceptions to my comments and lots of people love being married, but if I had a chance to do it all again, knowing what I know now, things would be entirely different.

Thanks for reading, please don't condemn me for my thoughts on this subject. Just telling my view on the issue. I hope this doesn't discourage anyone from marrying someone they really love and can't stand to be without. Just don't jump into it as a leap of faith as I did.


Thanks for your honesty. I've never been married, partly because I never wanted to be stuck or divorced. I'm happy with with the choices I have made, and I see how marriage does not mean much anymore. It did when my parents got married, and they're still together. But, it's just not important to me...and doesn't seem to mean much these days. Sad but true.

willing2's photo
Sat 08/16/14 01:39 PM


Why is it that there are so many failed marrieges these days? more divorce than before, what are they not doing right?
I think its more to do with the freedom to get out of a bad marriage being more available now than in the past.

thank you 'No fault divorce'. Its cheaper, and you dont need to prove what went on in the marriage to be granted a divorce with this one.

I think we just pick the wrong person, but Im sure many will say its because people dont want to work on marriage.

I got out of mine after 10 yrs of being the only one trying to work on our marriage. I had to be what he wanted, the end. and so it was.

We have much in common in this respect.

I was the only one willing to live together.

She always made excuses. Things weren't just right. The house wasn't perfect. She got over cancer and her grownass kids needed her closer.

Must have been much worse for you. Two in the house and still alone.flowerforyou

MariahsFantasy's photo
Sat 08/16/14 01:41 PM
Settling.

willing2's photo
Sat 08/16/14 01:42 PM
I wouldn't consider getting married again.

I would be loyal and monogamous in a live in relationship.

bashajones's photo
Sat 08/16/14 01:43 PM

Settling.


I've said it before...Never stop and never settle....:wink:

MariahsFantasy's photo
Sat 08/16/14 01:46 PM

I wouldn't consider getting married again.

I would be loyal and monogamous in a live in relationship.


Or just being together?

willing2's photo
Sat 08/16/14 01:51 PM


I wouldn't consider getting married again.

I would be loyal and monogamous in a live in relationship.


Or just being together?

If we agreed we were exclusive, you bet.

Would do that with someone local.

Dodo_David's photo
Sat 08/16/14 05:44 PM

Why is it that there are so many failed marrieges these days? more divorce than before, what are they not doing right?


More American women are going crazy. indifferent

bashajones's photo
Sat 08/16/14 06:41 PM


Why is it that there are so many failed marrieges these days? more divorce than before, what are they not doing right?


More American women are going crazy. indifferent


LMAO! Oh. I thought it was cuz American men were getting stupider...happy

Dodo_David's photo
Sat 08/16/14 06:42 PM



Why is it that there are so many failed marrieges these days? more divorce than before, what are they not doing right?


More American women are going crazy. indifferent


LMAO! Oh. I thought it was cuz American men were getting stupider...happy


Yeah, the men are stupid enough to be with crazy women. :tongue:

bashajones's photo
Sat 08/16/14 06:45 PM




Why is it that there are so many failed marrieges these days? more divorce than before, what are they not doing right?


More American women are going crazy. indifferent


LMAO! Oh. I thought it was cuz American men were getting stupider...happy


Yeah, the men are stupid enough to be with crazy women. :tongue:


Or vice versa? Either way, it answers the question to this thread...lol

no photo
Sun 08/17/14 06:30 AM
Divorce is much more socially accepted nowadays too. Years ago a divorce was viewed as a failure by many. Now it's almost fashionable and a recognized inevitability, kind of like rehab... Lol

Maybe thats what we need. A rehab program from failed marriage. Lol

msharmony's photo
Sun 08/17/14 06:33 AM

Why is it that there are so many failed marrieges these days? more divorce than before, what are they not doing right?



sex has become encouraged as the beginning and end and be all,, people are mush more easily distracted with much less stigma for being so

imho

no photo
Sun 08/17/14 06:57 AM
In the old days divorce was frowned upon and harder to get. No fault divorce encouraged a lot of people to get a divorce. People used to stay in physically and verbally abusive relationships more. Nowadays people are more educated/informed and have more resources available to fall back on. About 50 percent of first marriages, 67 percent of second, and 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce. So it would seem that people who get divorced are much more likely to fail at their second marriage.

daybreak112's photo
Sun 08/17/14 09:15 AM
People do not get to know each other, everything is rushed and when you do not like it get out. freedom of choice

bashajones's photo
Sun 08/17/14 10:42 AM

People do not get to know each other, everything is rushed and when you do not like it get out. freedom of choice


People rush into relationships as fast as they rush into marriages. I do neither...

MariahsFantasy's photo
Sun 08/17/14 10:44 AM


People do not get to know each other, everything is rushed and when you do not like it get out. freedom of choice


People rush into relationships as fast as they rush into marriages. I do neither...


People rush into everything because of the way life is now.

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