Yes and thank you.

i agree and all of your stories are insightful and beautiful and real life we can all learn from. this should be a part of mingle that goes on is some reality and life. hats off to all. i cried and it was good. thanks

I am single now and pretend to be superwoman, i can do anything protect anybody especially my kids, but before their father died he became an abusive alcoholic, but a closet drinker. None of his friends knew so i kept it to myself. It became so bad that my kids begged me to leave him and refused to come to the house for visits. They both referred to me as supermom, they proceeded to tell me that they were dissapointed in the fact that i tolerated this. my husband was an only child with no remaining relatives,if i had left him he would have been all on his own with no roof over his head. Shortly after this, he died of a massive heart attack in my arms. It was completely unexpected my children are now upset that they didn't see their father before he died, they have forgiven me but I still keep the secret to protect his and their reputations. I find it very difficult to continue sometimes because before he died he isolated us from our friends.

You acted honorably.
A fine partner.
Any man, including myself, would be very grateful to have you guarding my back.
I feel for you in being the whipping post of abuse.

My skeletons are sopose to STAAAY there ,lol but anyhow,here goes,jelousy,not in a petty way though,selfishness,am more of a loner,its one reason i do good being singal and stay out of trouble alot ,and alot of times i dont care to be bothered,and am sometimes realy thinskinded,and i deal with it by fighting fire with fire,you offend me ect,you most likely going to get it in return,thats if i think you did it on perpose!

Damn, that's one smart woman, huh?! lol Well done Darlene!

my kids are very overprotective and so are my family and the few friends that i have left. Shortly after my husband died I was befriended by a stalker, it took me 6 months to figure out what was going on and another 6 months to deal with it but i have a restraining order on him now and so far so good. Unfortunately i believe in honesty and when this comes up in conversation with a new gentleman they quickly disappear. It is great to be superwoman but even she needs her own rock to lean on from time to time.

....has fresh cadavers......"recent issues"....aspiring for skeletons

Thank you for sharing your story.

Who else finds it curious.

Topics of sex, endurance, endowment, etc., get many, many comments and participation.

However, when a topic of REAL intimacy comes along, it's quiet as a funeral home during a wake.

Superficial comes to mind. Shallow and dark as well.

A few of us have no problem being transparent.

Where are the rest of the brave and open books?

Afraid?

Today, I'm extremely optimistic, content, hell...even happy.
Always ready with a joke, smile, or encouraging word.
Hard to believe sometimes.
Nine short years ago, I got up in the middle of another tormented nights sleep.
Sat on the edge of my bed with my forehead resting on the muzzle of my .303.
The stock butt was braced against the floor, and my thumb pressing down on the trigger.
Another ounce or two pressure, and that would have been it.
I really wanted to do it. To just be gone.
I couldn't get free of the thought, that doing it, would really hurt my youngest nephew.
Today, he's actually my best friend. Someday, I will tell him how he saved me.

I have a phobia of being a loser and not getting anything out of life.Thats why I work 2 jobs and so many hours because I worry one day I will end up down and out. I need to quit working so much and take time out for myself to enjoy life more and quit being a work oholic

Two more brave men.
Not afraid to share themselves.
You guys are gems to be cherished.
Thank you for sharing with us.

Wow..pancho. part of me wishes I did not read what you just posted.
I lost my older sister to suicide.
.wow.. I thought I knew what I wanted to say right now..
. but I'm drawing a total blank.
.. this topic is not one where we judge.. Are be judgemental over one another.... what you posted. must have took a lot of courage...
.. I for one am glad. you did not go through. with it... that truly must have been a dark time for you...
. thank you for sharing...

Thank you No.1, Willing2, and all the other good people here.

I'm all worded out. Wow.
Feel like I just gave birth, and had a giant dump, simultaneously.

All of us who opened up are survivors.

We are not afraid to open our inner selves and share the intimacy.

I am very proud to be associated with you all.

I grew up through adolescence thinking I was unloveable and thay it was my fault my dad had abandoned my mom and us. as they weren't married when she had me, his name was not on my birth certificate, there was only a blank spot and I was 'nobody's child'.
as a child I was beaten at home with the belt, a walking cane, whatever was handy and they called it discipline. when we didn't get a beating, we were locked up. to this day I hate that kind of place where we would get locked up.
I was a loner growing up and would get picked on. didn't fight back because I would get my *** kicked at home. ir wasn't til my late teens that I learned to fight back.
healing and learning to trust was a long process. learning to believe in myself and that I am someone worthwhile even longer.
I can share my skeletons now because I have moved forward and can be happy.

I've read each and every one of your stories on this post. my respect snd admiration has grown for each of you even more. ive read all of your comments in the forums previously and already thought each in your own ay was pretty amazing. even more so now that I know you have moved forward amidst personal history which has left a deep impaxt.

Ana, i grew up almost the same as you except my father was there as an alcoholic and the abuse never stopped. i always felt unloved, middle child, and to this day, he is 71 and i dont talk to him. i had failed in relationships because even though i did the counseling and alonon, i never understood where that monster came from so even to this day, if i see in a man, an inkling of a monster, it scares the hell out of me or i just pick men like my father without knowing it. i have also fought back all my life and having kids then i could really never understand how you can do that to your own child. I have a great relationship with my kids because of it so good came out of bad he did. i think now i am just sitting back and living life and enjoying. i have a dream, something that i will see come true before i die and that is my goal. im not afraid to be alone anymore and im into realism and i just want someone to know me and love me for all my flaws too which are many. but i know i can love and have that to give so until that day, every day i will live and smile. glad you have exercised your demons. glad to see success out of pain. hats off.

Y'all some wonderful souls.

Knowing there are many on this site that would quickly jump in to ridicule or make fun of what we've been through, you still posted and shared.

Yes, we have had a hard road. Yes, many are still plagued with the memories. Most importantly, we accept our lot and choose to heal.

I remember a voice telling me. "Yes, it happened. Yes, they are guilty. Now, it's your responsibility to heal that past."

One day, all these horror stories will be just memories. Memories with no emotional attachments.

I see every lash, every hateful word we heard, all the bad actions are like leaves. Under each leaf is a gift. Each leaf I pick up and deal with gives me a permanent gift.

We may not feel completely whole. We do feel stronger and healthier. Day by day, step by step, we become more whole and healthy people will appear in our lives and be attracted to us.