Does everyone hesitate like I do in replying to messages or instant messages you receive?

If I notice that the person contacting me has not even looked at my profile before doing so, I am suspicious, especially if they are way younger because I state in my profile that I prefer older men. Yes the standard reply is that age is just a number, yada, yada, yada! Of course. that is true too!

I have been accused of not giving people a chance - losing the opportunity to get to know an awesome guy because of my fast 'delete' finger. That is possible because it is difficult to gauge what a person is like by a 'Hi' or 'Hello' but I will give a response after looking at the profile. Only through further communication can one really get to know what the person is and then of course - web cam to make sure that it is a person we are talking to. I always observe how the introduction is made too!

I am not a native English speaker so I tend to look at the written language initially for clues as to the real identity. I may have lost out on my Mr Perfect by my actions, but don't you think it is better to be safe than sorry?

Guess that is just life!! Cheers, everyone. Susan

If they are in Stealth mode, they will not be
showing up on your 'Recent Activity' list.

But really, it sounds purely instinctual.
All good :-)

Most people take a while to 'feel' the red flags.
Doing it early on can save a lot of time/hassles.

I hesitate =Neva.

This...

i'll get back...later

I usually will throw out a "Hey how are you" to random messages. Then again I do not expect much from replying.

I don't think you're too selective at all.
If a guy is really interested, it will show in his message. It will not say: "I'm not here very often, so mail or text me, so we can talk more." He won't try to lure you away from this site.
It will say more than just 'Hi dear' and it will not be the default 'Hi, I'm new here, I saw your profile and it is wonderful blablablar!!'
I'm sure they copy and paste this message and send it to any woman, just to see what sticks.

Use your intuition, simply delete, esp the ones with bad English that claim to be American (about 99%), cos they're scammers.

Thanks everyone and Crystal - you nailed it that the ones with bad English are mostly scammers particularly because Englisn is supposedly their native tongue. Usually a few exchanges will weed out the real from the fake.

Soufie says to stick to my instincts and that can never go wrong too.