1 3 Next
Topic: Long Distance Relationships
redwulfe's photo
Mon 09/24/07 11:59 PM
I think two people who love each other and trust each other can make a LDR work. It's all about communication. Even if the people are just starting out if they are truelly commuted and are honest with each other a LDR can work out just fine. But it is going to be work. Ithink in the end an LDR is probably a more rewarding relationship in the end because you truly know the person love you if they are willing to wait for you. I know that I would be willing to wait for 10+years for someone I loved.

yokoke's photo
Tue 09/25/07 12:00 AM
The success of any relationship, long distance or otherwise, depends largely on the effort both partners are willing to put in for keeping their relationship/love alive. Love can happen to us anytime, anyplace..... a long distance relationship has just as much chances of success as one where the two partners live in the same town.

One of the primary features of a long distance relationship is that the two partners are not able to physically see each other. Maintaining constant, clear, honest communication plays a major role in keeping the relationship in its best condition. Emails, phone calls, text msg on cells, web cam, snail mail, pictures(you can never get enough pictures)...on a regular basis. Know each other's schedule and find a time to IM each other. Even the smallest gestures mean alot.

If you don't cam, you might not pick up on non-verbal cues, so it is important to listen to your significant other. You can hear emotions, the tone of his hear voice...so listen.

Trust is important. The long distance can eat at you, but if you deep down trust them, you know it is okay. They are not picking up dates if you don't reach them by phone right away...and if you call every 5 minutes... well, that is a lack of trust or borderline stalking.:wink:

Coordinate activities, make it fun. One activity to try together is renting and watching the same movie together at the same time. Talk on the phone during the movie. Play video games or computer games against each other. Watch utube vidoes or find other activities that you can enjoy at the same time from a distance and the computer can be a great resource.

Okay you think he or she is great, you mention them to your friends and they think he/she is a figment of your imagination because he is half way around the world. Introduce your other to your friends & family and vice versa over visits despite wanting to spend only time with each other, it will broaden your relationship.

Visits, his place, your place, new places. You need time face to face to make memories, relive old memories, be intimate, have fun, and just be together. Let's face it, relationships have to involve sex which means being in the same place. Remember to that it may take awhile for you two to get used to being together in the same room on visits, so be respectful of that for either party.

Then there will be a day when you and your other will have to start planning a serious future, which can only happen when you are living in the same area or perhaps even living together, whichever makes you most comfortable. If none of you are willing to agree on a place to settle and start having a relationship where you see each other on a regular basis, then you can pretty much forget about accomplishing anything out of your long distance relationship. If your partner truly loves you and wants to be with you, then they would not want to wait forever to be with you.

So overall a long distance relationship has as much chances of success as you want it to be!



Quake3's photo
Tue 09/25/07 12:19 AM
and don't forget lots of great sex to get you through the miles
Yokoke...


reach out and touch some one....laugh

TheShadow's photo
Tue 09/25/07 12:20 AM
laugh

TongueKISS's photo
Tue 09/25/07 01:00 AM
what about in a situation where the two have never met? I think that you can have feelings for someone through communication alone without touching however you can't call it love until you are with the person physically because once you meet you might learn that the person is not who you imagend them to be. Or even the person who left those cute msgs or said all the right things on the phone. when it comes down to it we all have needs as humans and to stay loyal to a person you have yet to meet is a very strange. Although i know LDR can work for a limited time only because no matter what anyone says the whole point is to have someone by your side right? I will never try to sh** on anyones happiness but for most of us the ones who feed off affection and attention we can't cope without our lovers touch. I am going crazy without my love but i have to wait and i will but i have so much to look forward to because of the way we bonded in a physical and emotional way. Although we met online we still have touched eachother and that brought us closer together. so i said all that to say this, I don't think you can be in love with a person through emails and emotions alone. There is a need to love this person but it is a love that is unsure until you actually meet in person. What are you going to do marry online? Im married but me and my husband have never met? sorry to be so bold but it sounds insane to me.

surfinbird's photo
Tue 09/25/07 01:22 AM
I was in a long distance relationship for about a year... and say it takes a lot of hard work and a real connection to make it work with a partner...

shutterguy's photo
Tue 09/25/07 02:50 AM
i used to think they could but lately im not sure,heck ya rush home just to have the short time online with your sweetie,then they end up not being there try to call wont answer the phone, out of boardom you harmlessly flirt with someone 3,000 miles away and then they dump you cause of it and oh boy can a woman play the broken innocent victim so good and of course all women jump right on the ban wagon then heck your out looking in sites and find forums where the night you couldnt get a hold of your sweetie you see she was with another man met him in person,and the whole time still trying to make you look bad thats been my experiance
(((foot note lots of links and talked first hand to some )))))))))

oh the questain not sure anymore

DANCE47374's photo
Tue 09/25/07 03:24 AM
hugging the warm laptop and cyber kisses are just not the same as in person!

morethanjust_janedoe's photo
Tue 09/25/07 01:52 PM
LDR's can be increadibly hard and challenging, especially when one or both are going through tough times. I am one of the success stories. After being separated from my guy due to certain circumstances in both our lives for 4 years we found each other again online and we both professed to having even after all this time immence love for each other so we eventually got together when he was in Montana and me in California and after he came down for my birthday he went back to montana and finished things up there and moved back to cali and tho we have had our complications we've made it work.

If you care enough for the other person it can work. It honestly can. Don't belive the negativity about LDR's.

no photo
Tue 09/25/07 01:55 PM
someone has to move.......which one will it be???huh

yokoke's photo
Sat 09/29/07 11:47 PM
Yeah there is a time when thinking about being in the same area code comes into play, but there are lots of questions that would be needing addressed down the road....

What do you think of the location?
How much time have you previously spent in your new area?
Are you excited about living there?
((Take into account the weather, cost of living, access to cultural events, proximity to wilderness, etc. ))

Will your lifestyle change completely?
Pros and Cons of each others locations?
Do you have job prospects there?
How comfortable are you with getting to know new people?
What about friends or family?
Will you be accessible to old friends and family?

How you will respond to adverse reactions if your co-workers, friends or family are not hip to you moving?
How do you close up your life in the town/state/country you're leaving?

Laws.... looking up relocation laws for international if you go that route... see what financial obligations may be needed prior to the move and paperwork to be completed....

True unconditional love is the best thing in the world, but be sure that something appeals to you about moving to wherever you decide to move to, beyond one person. There is that off chance... it doesn't work out. Then what? Would the new place have any redeeming qualities for you to stay?

Relocating is a huge decision, and it will inevitably be stressful, but sometimes you've just gotta listen to your heart. Packing up your single lifestyle and your current way of life is both scary and exciting, but if your partner to be is patient, understanding, and willing to compromise here and there, you'll have your best friend to help you get through it.

:smile:








1 3 Next