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| Topic: Is love physical? | |
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Thanks, I am just scared that a good one will get away. Maybe the whole attraction thing is my self sabatoge. An excuse for it not to work. Don't know specifically the context/direction of your statement, forgive me if I read it wrong. But no need to be scared that a good one will get away. Sex in itself is not needed to keep a good one, to keep the one that truly cares. If he/she truly cares for and or about you, they can and will wait with pleasure. |
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Yeah, I don't know what my thing is either. I have liked different things with different people. as do many of us. i personally like the tall silent types , but one that can show me how he feels. now i do not mean presents i mean a smile or just being loyal. I find little things in different men i have met, that i both like and dislike. my best friend is sweet and loyal but he is also loud and over bearing at times and loves himself  but thats part of loving him.
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Thanks, I am just scared that a good one will get away. Maybe the whole attraction thing is my self sabatoge. An excuse for it not to work. Don't know specifically the context/direction of your statement, forgive me if I read it wrong. But no need to be scared that a good one will get away. Sex in itself is not needed to keep a good one, to keep the one that truly cares. If he/she truly cares for and or about you, they can and will wait with pleasure. i think we talked about sex so much on this thread you read her comment wrong. 
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Cowboy you say some of the smartest and sweetest things..... but you kinda scare me with your lack of interest in sex. Please don't be offended but I just don't get it. MaJayJay29, did it ever occur to you that CowboyGH may have the God-given ability to refrain from sexual intercourse until after marriage? Plenty of Christian have that God-given ability. obviously it occur to her that he has some kind of negative stigma towards sex. it was a valid question given some of his views. he can deny it all he likes, but there are many examples of his negative attitude towards sex. indecently, he seldom, if ever, says sex has to be shared only between married couples. do you think premarital abstinence is a negative attitude? Did Cowboy specifically say it had to be "marriage" for him to be intimate, or just that it has to be someone who shares his values about intimacy and loyalty? I suppose it's best to ask him the latter question
didn't say his abstinence is negative, how can you read that into it? what i said is that some of his views on sex are negative. and if you read it again, i specifically wrote that he does NOT say anything about marriage. which is what prompted me to reply to David. yes I know (what you said about marriage). I can say what I said because I do not think opinions that differ from mine are negative, or because someone wants to wait for sex (says "no" for example) is negative. Sex can be very negative tho if done with the wrong person and is not a good experience (and I digress). I don;t see his views on sex as negative so much as simply "his views" I do think pro casual sex people are quick to condemn tho, those who do not condone...just my observation...on here mostly personally I don;t think it's that big of a deal what one thinks about sexual morals or whatever...what's important is that there is THOUGHT lol 
saying no to sex is not his opinion as much as his right and i don't think it is negative either. however some of his expressed views do come across as negative to more than just me (as affirmed by someone else asking him about it) and it has nothing to do with whether or not i am pro/con casual sex. i understand his point of view and i am not criticizing him for it, just making an observation relevant to her question. |
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I want both, but then again if you have a great love, won't everything else be great too. I am not sex crazed but you know when you are in the beginning stages of getting to know someone and all you want to do is be with them in every sense of the word. I like being around him a lot, but I don't have that crazy sexual urge. I am curious, of course. Maybe I am just more mature than in previous relationships. I don't know. Does thatmake any sense?
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Edited by
CowboyGH
on
Mon 06/23/14 08:43 PM
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Thanks, I am just scared that a good one will get away. Maybe the whole attraction thing is my self sabatoge. An excuse for it not to work. Don't know specifically the context/direction of your statement, forgive me if I read it wrong. But no need to be scared that a good one will get away. Sex in itself is not needed to keep a good one, to keep the one that truly cares. If he/she truly cares for and or about you, they can and will wait with pleasure. i think we talked about sex so much on this thread you read her comment wrong.
Well in my defense lol, this thread is about love being physical or not. She had no "quoted" statement in her response... so yeah lol. |
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Cowboy you say some of the smartest and sweetest things..... but you kinda scare me with your lack of interest in sex. Please don't be offended but I just don't get it. MaJayJay29, did it ever occur to you that CowboyGH may have the God-given ability to refrain from sexual intercourse until after marriage? Plenty of Christian have that God-given ability. obviously it occur to her that he has some kind of negative stigma towards sex. it was a valid question given some of his views. he can deny it all he likes, but there are many examples of his negative attitude towards sex. indecently, he seldom, if ever, says sex has to be shared only between married couples. do you think premarital abstinence is a negative attitude? Did Cowboy specifically say it had to be "marriage" for him to be intimate, or just that it has to be someone who shares his values about intimacy and loyalty? I suppose it's best to ask him the latter question
didn't say his abstinence is negative, how can you read that into it? what i said is that some of his views on sex are negative. and if you read it again, i specifically wrote that he does NOT say anything about marriage. which is what prompted me to reply to David. yes I know (what you said about marriage). I can say what I said because I do not think opinions that differ from mine are negative, or because someone wants to wait for sex (says "no" for example) is negative. Sex can be very negative tho if done with the wrong person and is not a good experience (and I digress). I don;t see his views on sex as negative so much as simply "his views" I do think pro casual sex people are quick to condemn tho, those who do not condone...just my observation...on here mostly personally I don;t think it's that big of a deal what one thinks about sexual morals or whatever...what's important is that there is THOUGHT lol
saying no to sex is not his opinion as much as his right and i don't think it is negative either. however some of his expressed views do come across as negative to more than just me (as affirmed by someone else asking him about it) and it has nothing to do with whether or not i am pro/con casual sex. i understand his point of view and i am not criticizing him for it, just making an observation relevant to her question. well, yes, I still don't see what is negative. not really saying pro or con casual was all that pertinent...just sharing a thought on where I have seen some things that I think displayed negativity again, I tend not to see this whole subject in terms of negative/positive so the whole thing is divergent to me...thus I have some difficulty understanding what is negative.. don;t mind me. just accept my appreciation for a nice discussion :) |
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Cowboy, you're a rare pearl of a man. Your (eventual) wife will be a very lucky lady to have you as her man. Stick to your principals.
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I want both, but then again if you have a great love, won't everything else be great too. I am not sex crazed but you know when you are in the beginning stages of getting to know someone and all you want to do is be with them in every sense of the word. I like being around him a lot, but I don't have that crazy sexual urge. I am curious, of course. Maybe I am just more mature than in previous relationships. I don't know. Does thatmake any sense? seems to me that if you wanted to be with him in that way you would know it and would have no use for this thread. the fact that you are asking the question in the first place tells me that you do want both. if that is the case, go find it, because it obviously isn't with him. |
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Edited by
CowboyGH
on
Mon 06/23/14 08:54 PM
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Cowboy, you're a rare pearl of a man. Your (eventual) wife will be a very lucky lady to have you as her man. Stick to your principals. Thank you DatingOnMyMind, I appreciate that very much. Only problem I have with it all is patience lol, never been a virtue of mine. And today's woman, referring to my age area, seems to be all about sex. If there's no sex, they will get bored and leave. Which I guess in the end is a good thing though, because if being with me physically is all they intend. What would happen if say I got hurt and was paralyzed? I would rather find that answer before hand then something like that come up and have to deal with her leaving along with the tragedy of whatever it may have been and or any number of different scenarios. And it shows what they're truly after, physically or emotionally. |
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Makes perfect sense. Thanks
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Cowboy, you're a rare pearl of a man. Your (eventual) wife will be a very lucky lady to have you as her man. Stick to your principals. Thank you DatingOnMyMind, I appreciate that very much. Only problem I have with it all is patience lol, never been a virtue of mine. And today's woman, referring to my age area, seems to be all about sex. If there's no sex, they will get bored and leave. Which I guess in the end is a good thing though, because if being with me physically is all they intend. What would happen if say I got hurt and was paralyzed? I would rather find that answer before hand then something like that come up and have to deal with her leaving along with the tragedy of whatever it may have been and or any number of different scenarios. And it shows what they're truly after, physically or emotionally. sometimes a woman will think you are not interested in her romantically if something sexual does not happen, she will think she's been "friend - zoned" (though I can think of worse places to be - the "zone" = usually a death knell to romance) FYI |
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Cowboy, you're a rare pearl of a man. Your (eventual) wife will be a very lucky lady to have you as her man. Stick to your principals. Thank you DatingOnMyMind, I appreciate that very much. Only problem I have with it all is patience lol, never been a virtue of mine. And today's woman, referring to my age area, seems to be all about sex. If there's no sex, they will get bored and leave. Which I guess in the end is a good thing though, because if being with me physically is all they intend. What would happen if say I got hurt and was paralyzed? I would rather find that answer before hand then something like that come up and have to deal with her leaving along with the tragedy of whatever it may have been and or any number of different scenarios. And it shows what they're truly after, physically or emotionally. sometimes a woman will think you are not interested in her romantically if something sexual does not happen, she will think she's been "friend - zoned" (though I can think of worse places to be - the "zone" = usually a death knell to romance) FYI Exactly and that kind of mindset comes from people automatically associating sex with relationships. Which they are not entirely associated with one another, you can have either one without the other. |
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I want both, but then again if you have a great love, won't everything else be great too. I am not sex crazed but you know when you are in the beginning stages of getting to know someone and all you want to do is be with them in every sense of the word. I like being around him a lot, but I don't have that crazy sexual urge. I am curious, of course. Maybe I am just more mature than in previous relationships. I don't know. Does thatmake any sense? a fortune teller tells you your true love is in the next room. you walk in there are 2 men there. one is everything you dream. he makes you laugh hes smart and god hes so handsome you wanna jump his bone right then and there. the other is kinda cute and also smart and funny but next to the other man he is just well... blah. so you go home with the stud and things are great... for a while. but then the glow begins to fade and the sex while good has no meaning. the jokes get old and the topics run sparse and his bad habits you overlooked at first begin to grate on your nerves. and then comes the big question. what if? |
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Cowboy, you're a rare pearl of a man. Your (eventual) wife will be a very lucky lady to have you as her man. Stick to your principals. Thank you DatingOnMyMind, I appreciate that very much. Only problem I have with it all is patience lol, never been a virtue of mine. And today's woman, referring to my age area, seems to be all about sex. If there's no sex, they will get bored and leave. Which I guess in the end is a good thing though, because if being with me physically is all they intend. What would happen if say I got hurt and was paralyzed? I would rather find that answer before hand then something like that come up and have to deal with her leaving along with the tragedy of whatever it may have been and or any number of different scenarios. And it shows what they're truly after, physically or emotionally. sometimes a woman will think you are not interested in her romantically if something sexual does not happen, she will think she's been "friend - zoned" (though I can think of worse places to be - the "zone" = usually a death knell to romance) FYI Exactly and that kind of mindset comes from people automatically associating sex with relationships. Which they are not entirely associated with one another, you can have either one without the other. yes, I suppose, but what about the education piece and the communication? Just because she "thinks" you aren't interested because nothing "physical' has happened, doesn't mean she minds that fact....you've just left the impression (based on what HER experience has been) that you are not interested. A lot of women may be relieved to know that you are definitely interested and it won;t take "the sex sacrifice" to keep you with her. Do they KNOW this tho'? Have you ever talked with a woman about that? I mean it's none of my business, but this is about HER too. just a thought |
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Thank you DatingOnMyMind, I appreciate that very much. Only problem I have with it all is patience lol, never been a virtue of mine. And today's woman, referring to my age area, seems to be all about sex. If there's no sex, they will get bored and leave. Which I guess in the end is a good thing though, because if being with me physically is all they intend. What would happen if say I got hurt and was paralyzed? I would rather find that answer before hand then something like that come up and have to deal with her leaving along with the tragedy of whatever it may have been and or any number of different scenarios. And it shows what they're truly after, physically or emotionally. :::: I dont believe in sex before marriage. i was raised by several "cowboys" who all considered me their daughter and taught me that love is more important than lust. i am a virgin and proud of it. so just keep your head up :) |
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Edited by
MariahsFantasy
on
Mon 06/23/14 09:12 PM
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K, I have known this guy for almost five years. We dated before but never had sex. He was so in love with me, always telling me how strongly he felt and viewed me as the one that got away. He was in a bad place and I ended things. He had always contacted me, here and there. I never responded until now and we got together as friends. Now he is right back to telling me how much he wants to bee with me. We have great fun together and have so so much in common. BUT, I am not that physically attracted to him. I have always been in relationships where you just wanted to jump each other's bones all the time. Will that attraction develop, am I being stupid and holding out for the non existence fairy tale. Ugh, what should I do? I don't see this going anywhere romantically for long term. |
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well, yes, I still don't see what is negative. not really saying pro or con casual was all that pertinent...just sharing a thought on where I have seen some things that I think displayed negativity again, I tend not to see this whole subject in terms of negative/positive so the whole thing is divergent to me...thus I have some difficulty understanding what is negative.. don;t mind me. just accept my appreciation for a nice discussion :) ok here is an example of what i mean: her statement..."I have always been in relationships where you just wanted to jump each other's bones all the time." his reply...."This kind of action(s) will ruin any and all relationships fairly quickly." that to me is a negative stigma attached to sex. i can't fathom how wanting to be physical all the time will be responsible for the demise of the relationship. this is something that seems important to her and should be. |
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sometimes a woman will think you are not interested in her romantically if something sexual does not happen, she will think she's been "friend - zoned" (though I can think of worse places to be - the "zone" = usually a death knell to romance) FYI Exactly and that kind of mindset comes from people automatically associating sex with relationships. Which they are not entirely associated with one another, you can have either one without the other. that idea is as old as time even the bible has a fancy way of saying " go get married have sex and make babies." |
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Thank you DatingOnMyMind, I appreciate that very much. Only problem I have with it all is patience lol, never been a virtue of mine. And today's woman, referring to my age area, seems to be all about sex. If there's no sex, they will get bored and leave. Which I guess in the end is a good thing though, because if being with me physically is all they intend. What would happen if say I got hurt and was paralyzed? I would rather find that answer before hand then something like that come up and have to deal with her leaving along with the tragedy of whatever it may have been and or any number of different scenarios. And it shows what they're truly after, physically or emotionally. :::: I dont believe in sex before marriage. i was raised by several "cowboys" who all considered me their daughter and taught me that love is more important than lust. i am a virgin and proud of it. so just keep your head up :) Oh wow, that is incredibly awesome and very very very attractive and sexy. Hope you stick to it till you find the man worth it and will cherish you for all eternity. Knowing how lucky he is having a woman who saved herself for him. |
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