A pointer to try and keep negative people at arms length

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/high-octane-women/201203/how-deal-people-who-drain-you


They're all around us: People who suck all the positive energy out of us to fuel their relentless hunger for negativity, leaving us drained, exhausted, and unhappy. Whatever you call them—energy vampires, energy suckers, or just unhappy, negative people—they can wreak havoc on your life if you don't have effective strategies to deal with them.

Energy vampires are often personality-disordered people who tend to be:
•Intrusive, showing poor boundaries.
•Overly dramatic, making mountains out of molehills.
•Overly critical, finding fault with just about everyone and everything in their lives.
•Chronic complainers, rarely finding anything to their liking or meeting their satisfaction.
•Argumentative, having trouble agreeing with others, even on things that seem insignificant or inconsequential.
•Relentlessly demanding and persistent, being unable to take no for an answer.
•Constantly negative, always seeing the glass half empty.
•Unable to accept responsibility, blaming everyone but themselves for their actions and problems.

There is no reason to allow their problems to become yours.

A little fresh coming from you.
Or is this your way of playing another race card.

There is nothing in the OP pertaining to race. What gives, Franky?

ah yes harmony. I 've seen this list before and yanno I think we can all go there sometimes with one or more of those things. it just should not predominate.

to me it is a matter of avoiding those who either draw that type of behavior out of me (their presence makes me feel like that list), or avoiding those who behave that way, say, oh, more than 30% of the time....the 3- out of 10 rule. 7 positives for every 3 negatives/

unfortunately life doesn't allow anyone of normal intelligence to be 100% positive 100% of the time - I wouldn't trust that, personally :)

Please teach me to speak so much!!!!

completely in agreement, no one is perfect, but many go out their way to seek out imperfections in others,, to drain hope or positivity from most situations,,,,

its draining, and w hen I was younger I tried to 'fix' such people, this is interesting to me because it gives interesting red flags to look out for,,,

I was talking about negativity

I wish I'd seen that list 10 years earlier.
I can honestly say, I estimate my positivity level at about 94%.
And don't argue with me about it.

I am sure you can.

yes it is interesting. I get what you mean by tryna fix such people (they drive me nuts too). But tryna fix them just makes them worse because they feed on the attention....not sure what the best solution is...

me neither

Are you being figurtive


or suggesting their are vampires among us?

I don't wish to suggest such a thing,,IM flat out saying

beware the vampires amongst us,, on mingle, and in the world,,,

Naah.. I can't. .. please teach

Well, I've been accused of negativity in my time but usually by touchy people that can't take criticism themselves. My mother calls me her rock because I support her and try to help her to sort out problems in the family but the rest of them don't really like that kind of honesty and seem to think that problems will just go away if you ignore them or sweep them under the carpet. It's that kind of BS that I find frustrating and draining.

Well that's creepy...

Im not sure what relationship you have with your mom

sounds as if she appreciates you and therefore its likely that she is trusting of your judgment coming from this place of 'honesty' as well as probably LOVE,,,


with strangers, such a place is less likely to be influencing our behaviors,,


and then there are different approaches to honesty that vary by person,, some like it blunt and harsh, and some prefer it to have some compassion and helpful value

like telling someone 'you are a real fatass', as opposed to saying
'I believe you can achieve a healthier weight'

both are just as successful in conveying the message that someones weight is beyond healthy,, but the former sentence does more to hurt than to help and the latter does more to encourage,,,






there is constructive criticism and then there is just criticism for criticism sake, negativity and conflict for the sake of puffing out ones chest and looking down on others

I find your comments to be relevant where you contribute, I personally don't see you as negative at all,,,

Thanks. I'm the first born and I've always been close with my mother. I suppose that the rest of the family don't really understand our relationship because they just weren't there when she used to stay with me during the week before she retired. I don't want to go into too many details about it because it's very personal but I had a major crisis in my late twenties and I moved back to Edinburgh to try to make a fresh start and build a new life for myself and my mother did a lot to try to help me with that. We are both the talkers and ones that want to find solutions in the family but my mum is the organiser and I'm a bit disorganised and prefer to just concentrate on one thing at a time like some sort of absent minded professor I suppose. Recently I've been telling her a lot that she sweats the small stuff too much and gets all worked up about some things that aren't really problems. That's her negativity I suppose but it's because she cares so much and is always trying to help people and be considerate.