I need to get this off of my chest. My daughter’s father is not in the picture for her but for his other child whom he claims he found out about after we started dating. In addition he was the on who told me I was pregnant, didn’t want the baby but wanted to be with me. I chose to kick him to the curb. Ever since then he will call every now and then to "see how we are doing" but the general purpose will be to try and see if he can get in my pants. He has avoided court and ECT, and even tries not to come into my state. The thing about all of this is that it hurts me because he it there for the one child, who's mother married another man while she was pregnant, but not around for another. I’m single and not dating anyone. So should I continue to make an effort to put him in her life or should I let it go.

say, men do this, so my advice from an old lady who has been around the pot with a baby and x husband, is go find yourself a new man when your act is together. he has 2 kids, and just wants to get in your pants?
u have it figured out coming and going. u r lonely? join parent's without partners. go to school...anything to get your mind off this man. then, go to the division of dshs in your state, that can help you collect child support, and you will see some changes.
not only do you deserve the help, you deserve a man that is going to be straight up and there for you, not just a phone call in the middle of the night because he wants do diddle.

Sounds like a wasted effort but for the childs sake maybe you should...was he abusive to you(physicaly or mentaly)? If so then let him go, nobody needs that in their life.


Good luck

my dad was NEVER there for me. my mom TRIED to get him to visit.he kept on making excuses about why he could not.when i asked him 5 years ago all he said was "well i had the opportunity to have sex so i took it over seeing you." what a low-life he was.he is now deceased.same with my mom.

First off, what do you mean by ECT? Electro shock therapy? If that is it, you need to kick him to the curb until he finishes his treatments and is in the right state of mind. Don't stress yourself any further......being a mother will do that for you.

I hope that everything works out for you. BTW, this was just my opinion. I deal with patients on a daily basis, and I know for a fact that without treatment, nothing is important to them at any particular time. Just my opinion.

Honestly, I think you should let it go and throw him in the garbage for ever. Remember O.J's first trial? remember the glove Issue? If don't fix it toss it. Same to you if that man is worth get rid of. Hope you get it. God Bless You.

Correction- ECT=Electroconvulsive therapy

correction....if the glove doesn't fit, you can't convict, NOT...if the glove don't fit, toss it.

gloves don't work in this case

when he comes around obviously hes not there for the child,but to try and get in your pants and since its suppose to be for the child ...let him go somewhere else he hasnt paid any child support sounds like his only concern is himself ..You need a real man one that can be there for you and is a more positive influence on your child ...just an opinion

lol no i didnt mean that ect, i meant ectrah or whatever. as far as abuse not he did not but he was pretty aggressive. i haven't been with him since i got pregnant. i just want my daughter to have a father in her life preferably hers but i guess thats not going to happen is it?

Oh, sorry.

Do you have a good relationship with your father, your brothers, cousins, minister, ummm next door neighbours?

My question is, does your child have healthy men in her life? A loving grandpa.etc?

Looking for a father for your child, is wasting your energies, and taking away from her...'Father figures' come into a child's life in many different ways.

My children have not seen, nor heard from their father in 8 years, however at 10, 12, 18 and 22,now, they have developed very close loving relationships with men, who care for them as people...'father figures'...teachers, family friends, etc...

They chose their father figures, when they required them, mentors, buddies, confidantes..and chose healthy men to fill that role.

As to me searching for a partner, and 'father figure' for my kids....not a hope in hell...if it doesn't happen naturally, then it doesn't need to happen, my kids are well fulfilled, and content, and dont feel less, having a one parent family.

Don't be jealous over him seeing the other kid.
he's probably just doin the mom again..

my sons father hasn't been in the picture for almost a year and i'll be damned if i will call and tell a 45 man what is right.Girlfriend you know he's no good.Besides if he isnt doing safe sex,you dont want that ****.No peace of ass is worth your self respect.