Yeah but I can't say a word about her boyfriend, I would be in deep trouble

well I may get shot here...but well adorning my kevla...

My kids meet my friends, be it online or real time...they are absorbed into the family machine, and it's a sink or swim for those that choose the murky depths of my household.

I dont separate into compartments...any prospective 'partner' has to fit the all of us...as we do them and theirs...however, because I veiw the person as a person and not an 'item', the pressure is off everyone.

People are wonderful, and so are my kids, they have a better 'read' of people than I do...instinctually they know who is ok, and who isn't, and sometimes lust can fog the goggles we veiw through, whereas kids see with clear eyes...I respect my kids veiws on people, because I know how open and accepting they are.

My mom only introduced us if A: she was sure it was going to be serious or B: she knew they were just going to be friends. The friends were always cooler than the ones she was serious with. She never let us be confused.

We grew up as a huge Family! only 4 siblings.
From the time I was a year old my Grand parents had bought a cabin almost every weekend friends came. It sleeps 36 people & floor space.
Our houses have always had extras.
My Sister gets the pleasure of the kids every weekend because the horses are there.
Maybe I look at it differnt because I don't "date" I meet people as casual friends, If there's a spark then kewl..
We're all very protective over any of the kids that are around.

It's not like I would let my daughter even go to 7-11 at the corner with even guys that have been around for years.
Thats just not something thats even asked.

I introduce all my dates to my kids befor I go out for the first time.If they don't care for my kids or my kids don't care my date it will be a very short date.

I dont have a problem introducing my children to my dates... but we don't do "family" activities. I don't want my kids to get attached to someone before I know if it's serious or not.

I can understand the whole "checking the kids out" thing though....... I wish I had known my ex's kids better before I married him.... would have saved me A LOT of heartache later!

as far as I'm concern it could even be in the first date
I understand that for a woman with children they are the priority, and if i love her, then i have to know and love her children from the beginning

I dont feel it necessary to introduce my child to every tom **** and harry unless it becomes serious and then and only if....there are way too many freaks and pervs out there. Besides I made the mistake of introducing my child when he was very young to a potential mate and when we broke up he became very upset!

kids get attached very quickly
if I don't see the relationship going anywhere then I don't want to involve my children

but most guys want to meet them, and that causes tension in the relationship
I don't give in
it's just a no-win situation....

I just have a hard time w/ the thought of introducing my children to a bunch of different men. My parents have been married for 35 years and I would like them to grow up knowing about healthy relationships not about men coming in and out of their lives! Not that I have to worry about that since I haven't even been on a date in almost a year.

My kids have a good relationship with a guy I dated a while back..... They bonded quickly, and I even though I would never date the guy again, he is a great father figure for my kids, and at their age, they do really need that (plus his kids are the same ages as mine... and they get along great!)

HAHA I have imaginary dates!~!!!!

I guess it helps if you don't 'date'....

Snap!!! Gypsy...lmao...maybe we have been dating the same guys and should compare notes...

On the other side of the coin, when do you become concerned when someone your dating never even mentions your kids?

Personally when I'm getting to know someone, his kids are a very big part of him.... and I want to know 'about' them.

I guess it does....and they are a big part of the reason I don't date right now! Although I am ready to have a man in my life again.....maybe I'll rethink my theories!

my children know i date
usually do not introduce them until we are in a relationship

That is a good point, Shutterguy. A safe haven is a good thing to have whether it is a whole house, a den, a garage, a shop in the backyard or even a cave that you can go to that when you go to it you feel safe. I can remember growing up for me it was a tree fort, a closet or even sometimes under the bed. What is wonderful about being single is that your whole house can be a safe haven and you can decorate any way you want to. I like what you had to say.

You bring the kids after youve rocked each others worlds!