Where would be an ideal first date? Just doing the whole dinner thing feels like a job interview.

Is there a better way to get to know someone?

Yes, but I think dinner dates are better for second encounters. Sitting there and trying to come up with questions or avoiding awkward silence can be pretty brutal lol.

Maybe going a ball game or some kind of public event would be better for you. Less chance for that awkward silence

when getting to know someone, the use of the word 'brutal' is never a good sign. perhaps some conversational skills could use sharpening.

Yes

Yes

My conversational skills are fine. It's just some of the girls I met doesn't really ask any questions. So I'm always trying to come up with an open-ended question.

Yes, that would be ideal.

people ask questions to learn about things they are interested in, not trying to be mean here, but you have to give them reason to be interested in you. simply having dinner is not reason enough.

I'm not a huge fan of formal dinner dates or meeting for coffee for a first meeting either. It does very much depend on what sorts of women you're dating though. I like outgoing women that have plenty to say for themselves and you just don't really have to ask them interview questions because they will like to talk anyway. When they talk about meeting for coffee that's almost become like a red flag for me. Means that they intend to interview me and that they're probably doing the same with loads of other candidates.

I prefer to go somewhere to have coffee. Nothing to do with interviewing and questions, sorry, but that's total nonsense. Why would anyone interview someone?
I just like to have a nice conversation, which is somewhat difficult with a fork in your gob during a dinner. Plus I think ppl can feel awkward during dinner on a first date, trying to eat like a king or queen, which they normally wouldn't do at home.
Just coffee and a convo is far more relaxed. Going somewhere to me is more something you'd do on a second plus date, not a first date.
If me and a guy can't have a conversation cos something doesn't click, I don't want to go places with him either. Have done that, AFTER we had coffee and hit it off.
And if a guy doesn't have anything to add to a conversation, I'm off as well. A conversation is two ppl talking, getting to know each other, not me having to keep a monologue going cos the guy ain't got anything to say. Been there, effing hassle, won't ever do that again. If you can't hold up your end of a conversation, then maybe you shouldn't date.

If you can delve into her interests, and yours over a couple conversations here, and have a day that works for both....
take one of the activities and have it as a fun time doing what you/she loves in down time....

I like to rock climb for example....
I have suggested that as an option....
its good exercise, gets you to focus on care/concern for your "partner" as well as the task at hand i you or she is feeling a "low point" in the conversation....
Also, its a great way to learn about how people are when they are concentrating or needing some periodical "quiet time"

You just said it yourself Crystal. If he doesn't pass the meeting for coffee interview (or whatever you want to call it) you won't take it any further. That's pressure and you're already looking for what might go wrong before you even meet. I don't go into these things like that. Maybe that's a guy thing though.

Sorry if you weren't talking to me there. You know how I think that everything that you say is directed at me.

I think you should learn to embrace silence.
It can be the loudest conversation in the room.

I simply cannot imagine coming up with, or
trying to come up with, pat questions just to
solicit comment.

I have never learned anything, talking.
Ahh but listening opens the world.

So, go and do anything you like, or the other
likes, smile when needed, be quiet when there
is nothing to say :-)

Ideal first date for me is going bike-riding 16 miles and trying to complete the trail in an hour. If she survives that, we can b friends! Otherwise I got to call nine one one... lol

I'm good with the way he used brutal. he's not on a date NOW, he's here.....as for the whole dinner date thing I agree with the OP completely

spare me PLEEZZZ the slow death of a budding romance over dinner and a quiz

i realize this may sound strange to some of you, but actual conversations have nothing to do with question & answer sessions.

the location is of no consequence, if there is no chemistry the conversation usually goes nowhere. perhaps he should make better choices when it comes to picking his dates. on the other hand if this a reoccurring theme, maybe he is the problem.

One of the worst "dates" that I had wasn't even a date. The bloody woman was so controlling about it that she made me meet her in a supermarket car park before she would even consider meeting for coffee. She wouldn't call meeting for coffee a date and meeting in that car park certainly wasn't as far as she was concerned. She was totally full of herself and thought that she was God's gift. Nah, dating women that make you jump through hoops and pass tests like that is bollocks and no fun at all. It is a red flag and maybe I'm a bit old fashioned but if I'm taking a woman out I don't want her dictating to me what we're going to do like that.