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| Topic: My brother keeper | |
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The situation:
I have one brother and as he hit puberty our closeness deteriorated. I've tried my best to mend the relationship to no avail. When I invite him some place he always have to drag his wife and kids. We never have quality brother and sister. When I mention this to him, he instantly gets offended. His wife has siblings she does things with and she's not dragging him along. I will not invite him to do anything else. Am I wrong? |
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Try just inviting his wife and kids to something, for sure he will get the idea.
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Try just inviting his wife and kids to something, for sure he will get the idea. I'm not going to waste my time or money doing that crap! No thanks |
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I have a similar situation with my sister. I only really see her at family get togethers and I tried talking to her about it and we got a few things off our chests but it didn't change much and she still has no interest in spending quality time with me. We are just too different and there's a big age gap. She's just more interested in her own friends and family, now that she's married and has one of her own.
The few times when she has made an effort and we've just spent time together it's been alright though and I sometimes feel that it's when other family members are involved that there's tension between us. I did take a female friend of mine along to a family birthday party recently and my sister said to me that she enjoyed chatting with her and she commented that it's like my friend "gets me". Well, she would because I had more in common with my friend to begin with and she's spent more time getting to know me than my sister ever has. There's not really much more that I can do about it. I do talk to my mother about the situation and she agrees with me but can't really do anything about it. |
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The situation: I have one brother and as he hit puberty our closeness deteriorated. I've tried my best to mend the relationship to no avail. When I invite him some place he always have to drag his wife and kids. We never have quality brother and sister. When I mention this to him, he instantly gets offended. His wife has siblings she does things with and she's not dragging him along. I will not invite him to do anything else. Am I wrong? I keep telling you that the solution to all your troubles is for you to date a Melmacian. 
Anyway, it is obvious that your brother doesn't want what you want. |
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sounds like hes trying to share his family with you. that is who he is now. a family guy. maybe you are the one rejecting him? Absolutely not....he's VERY self centered and expects things his way. If you try to get to know his wife and kids separately from him, he will likely be really impressed. It will tell him you respect what is important to him. Once he trusts you, if a moment that has him without his family arises, he may well want to include you. If he cant trust you to love his family as part of him, then you cant be a part of his life, really. Any parent will tell you, they dont have much time to themselves to hang out with anyone. If his kids are small, he also has a bit of sleep deprivation which will make him easily aggravated that you dont understand that. |
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I have a similar situation with my sister. I only really see her at family get togethers and I tried talking to her about it and we got a few things off our chests but it didn't change much and she still has no interest in spending quality time with me. We are just too different and there's a big age gap. She's just more interested in her own friends and family, now that she's married and has one of her own. The few times when she has made an effort and we've just spent time together it's been alright though and I sometimes feel that it's when other family members are involved that there's tension between us. I did take a female friend of mine along to a family birthday party recently and my sister said to me that she enjoyed chatting with her and she commented that it's like my friend "gets me". Well, she would because I had more in common with my friend to begin with and she's spent more time getting to know me than my sister ever has. There's not really much more that I can do about it. I do talk to my mother about the situation and she agrees with me but can't really do anything about it. I'm not sure what his problem really is. He's the older one and expected to always achieve certain things first. I was the one with 4.0 GPA, the muliply degrees, career, and marriage first. He was handed certain things. So he found a wife (much younger) whom he could mold. He was so insecure, he kept her away from the family. When they got married, I was never asked to be in the wedding. I was told that the bride has her ppl she selected. But yet her only brother was in the wedding in my brother's wedding party. When their youngest child was born I wasnt selected to be a God parent, but I'm good enough to babysit while his mother celebrates her birthday in Vegas? ? ? Where are the God parents??? Sometimes I feel like they want me around for their benefit. |
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The situation: I have one brother and as he hit puberty our closeness deteriorated. I've tried my best to mend the relationship to no avail. When I invite him some place he always have to drag his wife and kids. We never have quality brother and sister. When I mention this to him, he instantly gets offended. His wife has siblings she does things with and she's not dragging him along. I will not invite him to do anything else. Am I wrong? 
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sounds like hes trying to share his family with you. that is who he is now. a family guy. maybe you are the one rejecting him? "Ain't nobody got time for that!" If you try to get to know his wife and kids separately from him, he will likely be really impressed. It will tell him you respect what is important to him. Once he trusts you, if a moment that has him without his family arises, he may well want to include you. If he cant trust you to love his family as part of him, then you cant be a part of his life, really. Any parent will tell you, they dont have much time to themselves to hang out with anyone. If his kids are small, he also has a bit of sleep deprivation which will make him easily aggravated that you dont understand that. |
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The situation: I have one brother and as he hit puberty our closeness deteriorated. I've tried my best to mend the relationship to no avail. When I invite him some place he always have to drag his wife and kids. We never have quality brother and sister. When I mention this to him, he instantly gets offended. His wife has siblings she does things with and she's not dragging him along. I will not invite him to do anything else. Am I wrong? Humm honestly I would feel offended if my brother invited me somewhere and did not include the person I was with specially if I was married to them..... And he would as well... I would never think of inviting my brother and not his wife..... As far as anyone knows even if she does do things without him maybe that is his choice of not going.....And he was invited... |
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.. sounds like you and your brother both have issues.
.. be serious with him sit down and have a chat.. a serious open minded.. chat |
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Humm honestly I would feel offended if my brother invited me somewhere and did not include the person I was with specially if I was married to them..... And he would as well... I would never think of inviting my brother and not his wife..... As far as anyone knows even if she does do things without him maybe that is his choice of not going.....And he was invited... He was quite jealous when I was married. He's quite selfish. Trust me. |
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.. sounds like you and your brother both have issues. .. be serious with him sit down and have a chat.. a serious open minded.. chat I've seriously tried that. I actually got invited to the White House. Had he planned to make the trip on his own, I can plan my travels accordingly. Now that he wants to include the posse the trip is ONCE again centered around her, her work schedule. ..etc. if I'm going to invite you to a one in a lifetime opportunity, dammit you work around my schedule! LOL. Not the other way around. |
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Hey!
I got me a enviyt to the witthouse two. Fine buffet. N dey hed beer on tap. I gots me a 44 averge, jist lack yurine.   
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... is this still going on.....omg.. kiss and make up already..
.. ..... .your his sister. .he's your brother ....don't be a hater. . |
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... is this still going on.....omg.. kiss and make up already.. .. ..... .your his sister. .he's your brother Define hater for me please. ....don't be a hater. . |
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.. opposite of love
. opposite of like .. so you're saying you don't hate your brother..hmm. . just his wife and kids..? |
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..hmm.. does not hate them..hmm
. very very interesting.. . but she does not like them..hmm |
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... is this still going on.....omg.. kiss and make up already.. .. ..... .your his sister. .he's your brother ....don't be a hater. . That sounds a bit perverted. |
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The situation: When I invite him some place he always have to drag his wife and kids..... I will not invite .. .. no I didn't read the thread.. I read the topic though..hmm . strong sense of denial... |
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