No one likes to be pre judged or blamed for someone elses bad behaviour!

If I don't trust or like you, it's YOU ,I don't trust or like.

Here's my confusion:
I have a friend that I've known for roughly 2 years, we used to date, but he was going through something at the time so I moved on from him.

Well, he reconnected with me last month. I consider him a friend at this point but even that is hanging by a thread.

He has this " thing" about labeling him or " judging" him.

He never calls , justs texts and even that is just " Good Morning"
I try to have some type of conversation, he never really says anything.
Ok.. I don't care he's just a friend. Right?
Then, he sends a text.. " Hey, I thought we were going to hang out"
Ok, again , he's a friend.. I go to his place to watch TV, drink a beer... like I would any " chick" friend.

He wants me to cuddle with him... So OBVIOUSLY, I draw the line!
I blow up... Damn, you men! It's all you think about!

Then, He blows up, " Don't put me in a box"

WTF? You are acting like a caveman... and I'm not to put you in a caveman box?

Can someone tell me where I went wrong? Did I miss a signal?

FYI- this dude was wearing a ripped to shreds teee shirt and pajama bottoms when I can over! It's not like he was dressed to impressed!


Ladies, you answer as well, have I been out of the game so long, I'm missing key points?

Sounds like you're just being a good friend. It's HIM that's crossing the line, getting his wires crossed. At the moment, there's some guy trying to be in my face all of the time, but he has a gf, so I can't keep pandering to him. The woman he types about is his woman, not me. I'll never understand the way some go on. I think he may have a tiny [?] crush on you.

Thanks Shy_Emo!

I had a crush on him a long time ago.

Now,I'm like you
I want a man who's upfront with himself as well as me, I'm not settling.

Sorry TeeBee, sound like you did everything right (we are only getting your side, but I trust you ). Your 'friend' (let's use the term loosely) is an a**, and that is that.

I do want to say here , it is not fair to speak in absolute terms, not all men are jerks. I will say ALL people can, and most likely will, be jerks to someone at some point in their life. I put myself in that catagory, I can definitely think of times where I did not treat others fairly, but I would not consider myself a jerk. Hm..though maybe they do. Foood for thought.

Your friend on the other hand.....definite jerk

Time to wave the wand TeeBee and say "Be gone idiot", or whatever that is in latin.

And here's somethinig to make you feel better



There's a dozen flowers for you. After what just happened, you deserve everyone.

sounds like he has his own agenda.. thinking of you as.. easy peasy.. nice and easy..weezz.ur2 Ez...lol.... he is just keeping you on the end of his fishing line. so to speak.. in case he feels like having.. A tasty bit of fish some week.....mmm..teebee.. fish sticks..lol.. oh yes and I still owe you...lmao... dump his *** girl... for real.. you are woman, you are strong.. let everybody hear you roar.. so they may get out of your way...phD..

Thanks NorCal...and you're right, I try to stay away from absolute terms... like " You men are all the same" I don't like this said about me!
Yeah... I am going to wave sayonara to this guy, because he is a jerk! He didn't have his chit together the 1st time I met him and it appears nothing has changed!

You're right! LOL how ever round about you put it

He's trying to keep me at arms length , until He wants to pull me in every now and again... NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

Ok..... my friend applications are going out, seems a vacancy has opened

That translation is = "Esto, fatuus!"..."Be gone idiot!" I googled it.

I agree tee...time to move on...don't involve yourself in his 'games' any further.

He sounds like a major loser to me. Why should he try to impress you -- you are always available no matter how he treats you. I think you already know he will never be what you need. So stop spinning your wheels, tell him goodbye immediately, and focus on finding someone who will appreciate you and who deserves a sweet lady like you!

no i m not it.

I am pretty sure u know what he wants. Please don't lie 2 urself or let him manipulate u with his need 4 attention and sympathy.

He sound like all he really is looking for is alone time with you, so typical. Do not reply to him anymore it's not anything your doing from what I read. Text, if he's interested in something serious, he would call more, and my god, dress a little better. Do not east any more of your time or energy on this. Kevin

Hmmmm not all men are like him... you did the right thing.. but you don't need to down yourself because of him ... life is to short to worry . live and let live. ..

Thank you all for you comments.....

and just to reiterate, he really was a friend to me, I had no ulterior motives to " Be his girlfriend"

That ship sailed 2 years ago... What I'm angry about today,
is him " pretending" we could be friends making me think it's all in my head that he's trying to be leacherous!

He knows what I've been dealing with.
When, now that I'm actually writing this makes me angrier!

.. let him hear you roar girl.... meow meow..jk

Clearly there isn't enough time and space here for you to include all the background upto reaching this point. However, you say you did date this guy if only for a short period of time some years ago but you moved on and then he reconnected with you a month ago. Well maybe what you saw as renewed friendship he has seen as picking up where you both left off, that is the previous dating relationship two years ago, so I cannot blame him entirely for his coming on to you. Unless you made it absolutely crystal clear to him when he reconnected with you that it would never be any more than friendship he is not entirely to blame in my opinion. Sorry but guys are not mind readers, and unfortunately some guys just have to have it spelt out to them. He certainly did not show any respect for you in what seemingly he at least thought was a date by his tatty clothes. I think there was confusion on both sides here, he was dating and you weren't and I would not judge him too severely. If he did not know the state of play before he certanly does now!! So if you wanted to remain friends with this guy I suspect he would not act the same way again, but after such a bad experience it might be difficult for you to maintain any kind of friendship with him, only you really know the guy. This is just my opinion.

I give it 3 weeks before you dating this guy again....it seems there are some things not making sense, he may have moved too soon, but it seems at the same time you do care if he texts you, and that you are trying to have 'more' of a conversation than just friends.....that is my opinion

Iam sorry tee. ill wear my good pj and a nicer tshirt next time. LOL.You rock tee dont let that get to ya. rock on !

Sweet Tee, you wouldn't have these problems with male Humans if you were to date a male Melmacian instead.

This is also, what I was thinking , Duttoneer!
Except, I never gave any indictaion of " Let's rekindle what we had" vibe.
He texted Good Morning, I texted Good Morning... I mimicked what He did so there would be no misunderstanding!

I hadn't texted him in over a week before he did this, let's cuddle move! I was busy and I assumed he was too, or else he would have texted me sooner.

I think he thought , since I'm not seeing anyone and he isn't seeing anyone it would be ok, because we're both lonely.

If he would have talked with me on the phone he would know, I HAVE A HOUSEFULL OF PEOPLE EVERYDAY!! I have the hang out house of my family!
He would know that... if he'd have called to ask a few questions, and gotten to know me better!