I've been with my boyfriend for only 2 months. A few weeks ago something told me to open his cell phone. We live together, so its not like I went into his room, it was in our room by our bed. Anyway, something was pulling at me to open it. When I did up popped a text from a girl saying "I miss you" Curiosity got the best of me and I read their whole convo. To say the least I was shocked. They'd been speaking of possible future kids and what not. I called her to get her side of the story before he came home. I have since noticed that she's a liar, but I'm not sure that he's not lying either. She told me how she didn't like him and what not. Her texts proved otherwise. I made it clear that he and I were together and that she need not speak to him again. He found a reason for everything that was said. I'm not sure I believe him. I have to wonder if he's using me as a place to live until he can afford to go to her in Wisconsin. Am I being paranoid or am I being cheated on?

depends...is he seeing her to try to make kids?, or is she just a modern day pen pal? Probably being cheated on. Talk to him, leave him with a choice or two.me or her or neither..and depending upon his answer...dump his butt

i think he is cheating on you and using you as a living quarters like you said to earn enough money to support him and this women

Your not beeng paranoid...you are being cheated on..sorry... good luck in whatever u decide!!

You're being cheated on.

err on the side of caution, and know, we JHSers are her for you

My heart tells me to leave, but I'm so sick of relationships not working. I'm kinda wondering if I should just sit back and ignore it in order to maintain a relationship.

BEIN A MAN I WOULD SAY HE IS CHEATING

He is cheating, move on, easy to say, hard to do, there is someone out there for you.

Don't ignore it just to maintain a relationship...that will wreck your attitude...along with the danger of catching something from him....no relationship is worth living with someone who cheats

Why would you wanna settle for less?? ur a pretty girl and can do much better than that...im sorry..but i rather be alone than have to be with someone who cant be faithful..

I'm trying to give it time to see what will happen. I have made it clear to both of them that any further contact that I find between them will result in both of them being severely hurt.

What sit back I don't think so...thats why men do these things to women they know they can get away with it.if you let him. it does not get better there are too many real men out there that wont let you down. why stay with that dump dump dump when some thing is no good what do you do with it eat it no no you dump it right.....right Al

I know what you mean about being 'sick of relationships not working'...but girl, Ive found that being lonely and searching is a HELL of a lot better (doesnt feel so rite now maybe) than living with someone who is ACTIVELY and CONSISTENTLY (purposely or not) causing you grief, heartache, and confusion, and worse od all, helplessness.
It mite take some time where you feel alone and weak, but, thats what friends are there for. Seriously... DONT keep yourself somewhere you feel at a disadvantage and HAVE this dude LIVING with you. You maybe should think about booting him for a trial...to clear YOUR head and get AWAY from him... u cannot make clear desicions if you are still with him, especially physcially living together. Or move yourself... seems like you just gotta put yourself AWAY from this situation, mentally or literally. Sounds shady and you probably dont want to believe it but sometimes your gut is so right.

Threats wont do any good except to get you into trouble. If he wants to cheat (and right now sounds like he is) then he will. An old BF of mine and I kept in touch for a long time and his live in found out about it. She changed his email, his IM and his cell phone number but ya know what... when he's ready to contact me again he will. After all she didnt change MINE. If thats the only way a person can hang on to someone then its not good (and they've lived together for over 20 years). Will he end up with me? Probably not but it was nice having someone to talk to that knows each others history. I'm better off than he is though... at least I'm not stuck in a cage with someone running my life... you dont want that either. If he wants to go then let him but DONT let him live off you in the meantime.

I know what you are going through. Go with your instinct he is cheating. Telling him to not talk to her will not do any good. I thought I could ignore my ex and love him enough that he would quit contacting the girl he was cheating with (cheating does not always involve sex). In the end I realixed that there was no way I could expect him to respect me if I allowed his behavior and there was no way i could make him quit contacting her. So I decded I needed to respect my self enough to walk away. Good luck I believe no relationship can be a good trusting relationship when you have to constantly worry about who he is talking to, hanging out with etc. Listen to the Song "Stay" by Sugarland it helped me alot.

When I confronted him he was way too calm about it. He even said "I was talking to her IN CASE WE DIDN'T WORK OUT" Tell me thats not a load of bull****. I tried to be understanding, cus relationships scare me too. But damn, I told him if he wants to be with someone else just ****ing tell me, I can handle it. I can't handle lying and manipulating.

KICK HIM TO DA CURB GIRL!!!

yup what gypsy said.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only question is, "How do you intend to react to the fact that your 'boyfriend' is cultivating intimate relationships with another woman and denying it?"

A brief glance at your profile suggests that 'deny' is the key element indicating you want this person near nothing of any importance to you (heart, family, friends, belongings, wealth, etc)