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Topic: friends with benifits
no photo
Thu 03/06/14 05:24 AM
what do u guys think abt this?

no photo
Thu 03/06/14 05:51 AM
we have had numerous threads about this recently is what I think. I also think guys keep asking about it hoping thangs will change and they will finally hear what they want to hear (if they keep asking) and that is just annoying - you guys want to hear that women are just ripe and ready to hop into bed with no commitment. For the most part that is probably not going to happen unless you pay a pro. get used to it.

For myself, no thanks, not interested, I would not lower my standards

me_Dan's photo
Thu 03/06/14 05:54 AM
LOL my dear LOL

no photo
Thu 03/06/14 05:56 AM

LOL my dear LOL


and I am supposed to care what you think? go ahead and research the topics it has been covered numerous times. I have also been around a lot longer than you have. When it comes to men - have heard about everything, every line, every con, you name it. laugh all you want. It doesn't matter to me. Most men are not that great in bed anyway. lol

no1phD's photo
Thu 03/06/14 07:26 AM
... hello.. did I hear somebody call my name.. something about being great in bed... Oh most men aren't great in.bed.. sorry definitely didn't hear my name then..lol

kessel009's photo
Thu 03/06/14 07:40 AM
Come on guys we dnt need friends with benefits we need something out of this world.like falling inlove.that kind of feeling certainly not friends with benefit

pkh's photo
Thu 03/06/14 08:39 AM

... hello.. did I hear somebody call my name.. something about being great in bed... Oh most men aren't great in.bed.. sorry definitely didn't hear my name then..lol
always love your sense of humor on here

no1phD's photo
Thu 03/06/14 08:44 AM
... Ohh. sweetie thanks..flowerforyou .. the sad part is I'm not trying to be funny..lol.. have a nice day.. big kiss for you..

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 03/06/14 09:46 AM
When ever I hear a person saying Friends With Benefits is desirable as a relationship I think they have sold themselves out.

One if they only way the can get a friend is to "sweeten the pot" by offering uncommitted or "bookmark" sex (you will due until something more desirable comes along) then they must have either really bad friendship skills or really no clue what friendship is. Being used for anything does not make you someone's friend.

Sad thing about FWB relationships the benefits usually work out to be someone's hand in the other's wallet. Usually with little or no remorse for picking it clean and walking away scott free. So whatever you save on not getting laid the typical way it costs a whole lot more another.

Too often FWB's it falls into and unwanted room-mate and someone gets stuck in an bad episode of Judge Judy with possessions ripped of, rental evictions, and or a borrowed car being trashed.

Even worse it can end up in a domestic violence record or worse that will haunt you for years because if you know you are the FWB so do the neighbors who will call the cops because they are tired of the traffic and they can identify you. Some of those "innocent" folks in jail were unwitting FWB's that got to be the scapegoat.

Since hallmark of FWB is there is no commitment there it is a prime opportunity to pick up STD's from and unknown third, fifth, maybe fiftieth sex partner you don't know about. With sterility not being nearly so funny when "the one" comes along in your life or other equally limiting options it can be a high price to pay for what looked like an easy option at the time.

Not to mention it will be really hard not to pin a pregnancy on you that you don't want because one "lazy" moment and if anyone is baby hungry you are co-parenting. Baby hunger is not a female phenom by any means of the term. A kid is a ticket for a lot more than welfare these days with people trying to use it for SSDI allotments, schooling, get out of jail cards, getting into drug rehab, or making points with parents and grandparents for inheritance rights.

Last but not least what are you going to do with the FWB that doesn't want the set up to end when you are tired of it? One thing about a regular sex buddy they tend to know a whole lot more about you than you think they do. Sometimes it is not what you have but what they can hold over you that makes these set ups very uneasy.

Believe me this is the short version of the threads on the subject but it is a common thread so not going to down a Newbie for a asking a standard question.


no photo
Thu 03/06/14 10:07 AM
Edited by suttlekrissy on Thu 03/06/14 10:14 AM
Not a good idea. Just my opinion :smile:

mustlikemylab's photo
Thu 03/06/14 10:11 AM
I'm a little older & I've heard the term but never experienced the definition. Sounds to me that men see sex as an incredible experience shared with a partner.
And woman see it as a tool to sell themselves? Bait on the end of a hook?

Pacific, I'm not sure how you got off on the tangents you did with the police running around, neighbors included in your personal experiences, possession rip-off & Judge Judy. Wow....my sex life has never been that open & I came thru the 60's. Maybe I hang out with a different crowd than you do? Most of my friends don't need to steal my things, if they want it they can ask, or buy one for themselves.

My father told my you should never have more "friends" than you can count on one hand. The rest are just acquaintances. To have 5,000 friends on facebook is a real stretch of the definition of Friend. Someone you can count on at anytime for anything.

Maybe we should establish what a "friend" is first before going on here?

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 03/06/14 10:55 AM

I'm a little older & I've heard the term but never experienced the definition. Sounds to me that men see sex as an incredible experience shared with a partner.
And woman see it as a tool to sell themselves? Bait on the end of a hook?

Pacific, I'm not sure how you got off on the tangents you did with the police running around, neighbors included in your personal experiences, possession rip-off & Judge Judy. Wow....my sex life has never been that open & I came thru the 60's. Maybe I hang out with a different crowd than you do? Most of my friends don't need to steal my things, if they want it they can ask, or buy one for themselves.

My father told my you should never have more "friends" than you can count on one hand. The rest are just acquaintances. To have 5,000 friends on facebook is a real stretch of the definition of Friend. Someone you can count on at anytime for anything.

Maybe we should establish what a "friend" is first before going on here?


ROFLMBO

I am your age and yes my private life tends to be very private and I 100% agree with your father's advice so no some of my observations and opinons are NOT from personal experience but case work and the messes some people find themselves in making certain non-conventional choices or actually the same stupid choices with new monicers. FWB is not so new having been around since what the 70's.

I talk with men and women in crisis on a regular basis and they ask me why my life seems to be successful and drama free and I tell them that being smart is a choice and the faster they apply it the faster they get to their real dreams. Sex is just one of them.

no photo
Thu 03/06/14 11:13 AM

I'm a little older & I've heard the term but never experienced the definition. Sounds to me that men see sex as an incredible experience shared with a partner.
And woman see it as a tool to sell themselves? Bait on the end of a hook?

Pacific, I'm not sure how you got off on the tangents you did with the police running around, neighbors included in your personal experiences, possession rip-off & Judge Judy. Wow....my sex life has never been that open & I came thru the 60's. Maybe I hang out with a different crowd than you do? Most of my friends don't need to steal my things, if they want it they can ask, or buy one for themselves.

My father told my you should never have more "friends" than you can count on one hand. The rest are just acquaintances. To have 5,000 friends on facebook is a real stretch of the definition of Friend. Someone you can count on at anytime for anything.

Maybe we should establish what a "friend" is first before going on here?


My father (and my mother) always told me, "In life, most of us can count our true friends on the fingers of one hand."...Meaning a true friend is a rare and precious thing...A true friend is a person who would lay down his or her life for you...A true friend is a person who knows you as well (sometimes better) than you know yourself...A true friend loves you unconditionally...A true friend is someone you can "always" count on to have your back...A true friend is a person you can be yourself with 100% of the time....The older I get, the more I embrace the idea of having a "true" friend with benefits....Yes ladies it's true and I don't think that means I am willing to settle or that I lack moral fiber....In fact, I think it means just the opposite....

willing2's photo
Thu 03/06/14 11:38 AM


My father (and my mother) always told me, "In life, most of us can count our true friends on the fingers of one hand."...Meaning a true friend is a rare and precious thing...A true friend is a person who would lay down his or her life for you...A true friend is a person who knows you as well (sometimes better) than you know yourself...A true friend loves you unconditionally...A true friend is someone you can "always" count on to have your back...A true friend is a person you can be yourself with 100% of the time....The older I get, the more I embrace the idea of having a "true" friend with benefits....Yes ladies it's true and I don't think that means I am willing to settle or that I lack moral fiber....In fact, I think it means just the opposite....

I don't know you all that well but, what I do know of you feels comfortable enough to tell you, if you ever need a place, my home is open to you.

Far as FWB, I believe I would rather not have someone here 24/7. They have their place,I have my space.

I am married. She lives 3 hours away. I now, have my independence. Am free, so to speak, to have my FWBs.


no photo
Thu 03/06/14 11:46 AM



My father (and my mother) always told me, "In life, most of us can count our true friends on the fingers of one hand."...Meaning a true friend is a rare and precious thing...A true friend is a person who would lay down his or her life for you...A true friend is a person who knows you as well (sometimes better) than you know yourself...A true friend loves you unconditionally...A true friend is someone you can "always" count on to have your back...A true friend is a person you can be yourself with 100% of the time....The older I get, the more I embrace the idea of having a "true" friend with benefits....Yes ladies it's true and I don't think that means I am willing to settle or that I lack moral fiber....In fact, I think it means just the opposite....

I don't know you all that well but, what I do know of you feels comfortable enough to tell you, if you ever need a place, my home is open to you.

Far as FWB, I believe I would rather not have someone here 24/7. They have their place,I have my space.

I am married. She lives 3 hours away. I now, have my independence. Am free, so to speak, to have my FWBs.




flowers smooched :heart: TY (((Chris)))...

willing2's photo
Thu 03/06/14 12:02 PM
I also have other women friends her on this site I consider to be they friend. They are way too young for me to consider them for benefits.

I don't rob cradles. Ya have to be at least 50.

no photo
Thu 03/06/14 12:17 PM

I also have other women friends her on this site I consider to be they friend. They are way too young for me to consider them for benefits.

I don't rob cradles. Ya have to be at least 50.

Well that rules me out then, but we can still be friends, without benefitsflowerforyou

willing2's photo
Thu 03/06/14 12:27 PM


I also have other women friends her on this site I consider to be they friend. They are way too young for me to consider them for benefits.

I don't rob cradles. Ya have to be at least 50.

Well that rules me out then, but we can still be friends, without benefitsflowerforyou

You betcha, little darlin. flowers

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 03/06/14 12:28 PM
I would add that I think responsible young adults try to make good choices.

A lot of times the peer pressure of friends, wanting to be adult, or modern, even competitive in a global world they can be pressured into thinking popular social relationships they see in media is how all people think and that parents or the strict religious views might be to extream.

Just about every young person thinks they are invincible, they are the exception, the worst can never happen to them. Sometimes they are lucky but is someones future worth so many possibilities of a bad result?

When confronted with a situation that might seem like a solution with out any serious consequences it is easy to be nudged away from what common sense would suggest.

If you have thought things through when you are not under pressure, know all these possible end results, you can make and educated guess at your chances when you are on the spot.

Personally I am pretty lucky but somethings are to valuable to put in the hands of someone I don't care to hold in any higher esteem than to call them an FWB.

mustlikemylab's photo
Thu 03/06/14 01:49 PM
So, after all this, FWB is OK or not OK? And have placed a # on it as less than the digits on one hand?

Quote; "I am married. She lives 3 hours away. I now, have my independence. Am free, so to speak, to have my FWBs."

How does that work out? I met a couple a few years back in Maui. He lived in Maui & she in Vancouver. They didn't seem to have FWBs. He just always wanted to live in Maui. They seemed quite happy in front of everyone else. Who knows what discussions were had on their own time?

FWB Ok or not. Should we place an age limit on it like alcohol?

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