Tolerate means basically to put up with, endure, or to allow without interference. How might that apply within a relationship?

Is it intolerant to be opposed to or to refuse to accept:

1.General attitude of laziness
2.Persistent negative attitude
3.Lack of self-control
4.Verbal or physical abuse
5.Infidelity
6.Financial irresponsibility
7.Short temper
8.Violent mood swings
9.Substance abuse
10.Dishonesty
11.Too little (or too much) libido
12.Add others

Would it be fair to say that we are all intolerant of some things (but may criticize others for being intolerant of different things than we choose)?

interesting question

what may be seen as tolerating could also be seen as compromising

neither is negative or positive by itself, but I believe both become necessary at different points in a relationship

and yes, we choose what we will or wont tolerate,,,

depends on the hotness scale, or how much we are attracted to them...
more the attraction, the more we tolerate
the less we are attracted, the less we tolerate


i guess it's human nature...

Well, there are certain things that most people would agree that you shouldn't have to put up with. Abuse, controlling behaviour and cheating are the main ones that cause problems in relationships. What I think that you have to do is to ask yourself how someone's behaviour effects you or other people and if you think that it is acceptable. People close to me have had problems with anger, for instance and although I can put up with someone having bad moods to a certain extent because everyone has them, it can get to the point where there is a real problem and you may decide that you just are not prepared to put up with it anymore. Likewise, most people can be lazy sometimes, or someone may be a drinker or take drugs recreationally but they may not really have a drinking problem or a drug problem and unless you are someone that is just totally against drugs or alcohol it may not really bother you. My father didn't want my mother smoking and I remember one time when I was a child when they had a party for their friends and someone had given my mother a cigarette he chased after her and took it from her to stop her from smoking it. I would call that controlling behaviour and I wouldn't put up with someone treating me like that. I will put up with a certain amount of criticism though because people are entitled to have opinions about my habits and it is when people can't take criticism that they have a problem I think.

If I just tolerate someone, I wouldn't be in a relationship with them.

Not really. I don't become more tolerant of things listed in the OP just because someone is attractive.

i think everyone does, to an extent... otherwise, it might be a lonely life for some...

What do you become more tolerant of based on attraction? I don't see anything listed in the OP that I would become more tolerant of based on attraction.

Yes, Ms Klc.
Addedly, many jump out of a few dates to living together, without getting to know stuff about the other that makes you grind yer teeth and make ya wanna bury em under some rose bushes.

If the sex was explosive, could you tolerate usually intolerable stuff?

I can't imagine myself being in a relationship with someone I just tolerated. I refuse to associate with persons who have a general attitude of laziness, a negative attitude, lack of self-control, who are verbally or physically abusive, short tempered, have violent mood swing, have a substance abuse problem, and are dishonest so I certainly would not get into a relationship with someone who displayed these attitudes and qualities. I would certainly never put up with infidelity or someone who was financially irresponsible no matter how good-looking or charming they were.

In my life time, I have walked away from many persons, after spending a bit of time together and never looked back. So I guess, my answer to the OP post is: I'm intolerant.

# 4 and #10 i would not tolerate, but the rest can be bent a little...

One thing I've noticed, particularly when it involves social issues, (homosex, abortion etc)is that people seem to confuse tolerance with acceptance.

Regarding personal issues, just because I put up (tolerate) having to do the dishes every night, in no way implies that I accept it, or will continue to "tolerate" it for long.

Damn, little mama.
You just bumped 99.99% of all us men.

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

Speaking of paper plates.

Many my ex women preferred I eat off a paper plate she set outside the back door.

ARF, ARF!

What if it's a family member? People here like to say that you shouldn't put up with any crap from someone that you're in a relationship with but I bet that most of us have had difficulties with relatives and even when you fall out with them you don't just write them off as people that you don't want to ever have anything to do with again.

There are degrees to everything. You just adjust to whatever degree you feel comfortable. If you are uncomfortable, the deal sucks.

Are such things "all or nothing" as suggested by: "don't want to ever have anything to do with again"

If any person (biologically related, in a relationship, or not) does things that one regards as unacceptable, they CAN LIMIT contact without "ever again" being involved (unless the offenses are intolerable).

All-or-nothing, Black-or-white thinking acknowledges that the person does not recognize alternatives.

Yes, these little things are absolutely things that can be tolerated. If I had to tolerate anything from the list in the OP, the person is not for me.