In my experiences and from what I've observed, people who are looking for a partner to fill some void in their life end up settling for whats available at the moment. They become lovers, and then get to know each other. These are usually the type of people who think they are in love with you after a few conversations even though they really don't know who you are. But did they fall in love or did they force the situation out of a fear of loneliness? Would it not be more real if they got to know each other as friends before sex started to cloud their intentions?

I agree, and something I've been thinking about quite a lot lately as I find it concerning. How can you know whether it's real? Often it's a projection, not love. Scary ...
Not sure if not having sex would help though? What I mean is, I think that making yourself believe you're in love and/or projection can last for a long time. Maybe increased sexual longing will even make this belief stronger?
If anyone knows an answer ...

In my experience, you have to consider there family too.Dating a person for a while can give a false impression a persona,you want that person to like you more often than not. To know what someone is really like you have to meet there family. Keep the sex part out of it completely for the time being. If your looking for that then there are sites specifically to cater.

In my opinion, you can find it if you're both open to it. I don't agree with the picky negative roadblocking types and I certainly can't get anywhere with them. You spend too much time just trying to get to know them as a friend and you either get "friend zoned", or they move on to the next prospective suitor. Too many people out there not prepared to give it a go with someone if they don't tick all of their boxes and measure up to their ideal and they carry on like that for years and will probably end up as lonely old men or spinsters.

Very wise man!
This is how I am looking for IT this time around. I want the best friend thing first then when we are both sure of what we have and what we both want...it can progress from there.

I don't get the point about introducing them to my family. Why do I need their approval and why does she need to check them out? It's nice if a girlfriend wants to meet my family, or introduce me to hers but that's too much too soon for a lot of people and you risk making yourself look a bit stupid if you do that and the relationship doesn't work out.

I agree to your opinion, learning to know each other it cost nothing,you just have to put an effort if you are really true to that person.given that you are on this dating site

very nicely said Shutter...............

You just have to ...

Wait for it...


Till they send you ..The Digits...

Because people are more like their people than is readily obvious even to ones self. And women get it even if sometimes they hate it. lol And women know if Momma isn't happy nobody is going to be happy so hopeful meeting and winning over at least one or to relatives will help things last. Men would be wise to see a woman's family because you see the Mother you will know what you are getting tangled up with. lol

Who would buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first?

Many people mistake lust for love and their judgement is clouded by desperation and/or stupidity. So if you keep a clear head and an open mind, yeah, I'm sure you can find it. Just be ready to look for a very, very, very long time....

it can happen either way. depends on the people and how comfortable they are with their own sexuality. I think it takes a lot of maturity to allow a sexual relationship to coexist with a friendship but when it can the likelihood of falling in love is greater ... or figuring out that you have been in love all along anyway

immaturity/insecurity will destroy it when guys look at sex as a conquest which is very immature or women when they think sex is a reason to start setting new expectations that were not there before.

those things should be talked about...I'd avoid having sex with someone who held the latter values that show immaturity....or insecurity. wait to find a partner who is secure & open & has an adult attitude. jmho

Granted, I take after my parents in certain respects but in other ways we are complete opposites, so I'm still not really getting how she's going to get to know me better that way. All she's really going to see is what sort of family I come from and how I get on with them.

As far as my mother goes, she never interferes in my relationships. I have a close relationship with my mum and tell her just about everything. I used to tell her when I was having trouble with my ex and of course she took my side but that went no further than her just giving me her opinion and she always got on fine with my ex.

A watched pot never boils.

True.

in someone else's opinion, you can find love on a two way street. just be careful you don't lose it on a lonely highway

*if you do find love, it may hurt

No, you can't find love by looking for it, but I can't find it by not looking for it either.

((((((INSTRUCTIONS)))))
Before hand-rearrange your Wallet-Put a $100.00 bill in front and behind a bunch of $1.00 bills that causes you to sit crooked when in your hip pocket-then go to your nearest Jewelry store pulling your wallet out occasionally while Women are around-(or if a cheaper date wanted) Walmart,Kmart- or cheaper-Dollar Tree, Dollar General. Watch your fingers there!! Fish bite fast!!

and how many of us have actually sat and deliberately spent time (at least days, if not weeks or months) thinking about what love is, except for the few stray incidents when we were high after watching a emotional movie or incident.. "beggars always look for pennies only, not the mastercard"