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| Topic: Dealbreaker "problem" | |
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  then i will keep crying 
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Thu 01/02/14 03:02 PM
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Hahah! I bet the Dutch love you. Maybe you should think about selling up and moving to England. I think I speak for all Englishman when I say that you'd be a welcome addition to our country. Thought has crossed my mind more than once, Mist. @ Shy emo Chick, yeah, you're right. Always loved England. After every visit to the UK I bawl my eyes out when I have to go home again. So next question would be: why not move? First I didn't cos of my kiddies, and now they live on their own, so I'm free. I guess English women freak me out  One of my female Essex friends punches people's lights out when they say something about her or her friends that she doesn't like. She's been in quite a lot of pub fights, which she started most of the time. The woman is stronger than your average man. Sod that, lol. I've known UK men that preferred to find a woman in the Netherlands. After my friend told me what goes down in pubs, I can sort of understand why,  @ Leigh, I can't sign up for your classes. I have a course of German to finish first (which I really like, NOT!) |
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I find it interesting that you are so bothered by wanting to be with people you can actually talk to. That's pretty much what it boils down to doesn't it? I can't say I would want to date someone who I couldn't understand. Am I missing something?
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I find it interesting that you are so bothered by wanting to be with people you can actually talk to. That's pretty much what it boils down to doesn't it? I can't say I would want to date someone who I couldn't understand. Am I missing something? I think you are, not sure what the he(ck you're getting at  Can you translate it in Dutch? Maybe it works better after all
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I find it interesting that you are so bothered by wanting to be with people you can actually talk to. That's pretty much what it boils down to doesn't it? I can't say I would want to date someone who I couldn't understand. Am I missing something? I think you are, not sure what the he(ck you're getting at Can you translate it in Dutch? Maybe it works better after all In your OP you say something about going on a date with a guy who didn't speak English except for yes and no. Then more recently you got an email from a guy who speaks Dutch and I gather you used to speak Dutch but you don't anymore. So you don't want to date him or start anything with him. At one point you said something about feeling like crying which I understood was because you were upset about your reaction to your situation at rejecting someone based on communication gaps. |
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I find it interesting that you are so bothered by wanting to be with people you can actually talk to. That's pretty much what it boils down to doesn't it? I can't say I would want to date someone who I couldn't understand. Am I missing something? I think you are, not sure what the he(ck you're getting at Can you translate it in Dutch? Maybe it works better after all In your OP you say something about going on a date with a guy who didn't speak English except for yes and no. Then more recently you got an email from a guy who speaks Dutch and I gather you used to speak Dutch but you don't anymore. So you don't want to date him or start anything with him. At one point you said something about feeling like crying which I understood was because you were upset about your reaction to your situation at rejecting someone based on communication gaps. Haha, I'll try to explain again. I am Dutch, so Dutch is my first language. My ex was British, so I got used to speaking English 100%, 24/7 for 10, 11 years. Plus I've had (and still have) quite a lot of UK friends. Every time I have a conversation in Dutch, my own language, I have this problem that I can't seem to think of certain words or phrases in my own language anymore, but I do know them in English. So when I"m having a conversation with Dutch ppl, it's in Dutch obviously, but there's always English in it as well. Now I had this date earlier on this year and he didn't really understand English. So I had difficulty explaining things to him, even though we were both Dutch. I guess I never realized how much English I use in daily speech till I went on a date with that guy. If a Dutch guy doesn't really speak English, I seem to lose interest on the spot. And I don't really understand why. Oh well, difficult to explain. Kinda feels like I'm doomed by my love of language. Either find myself a native speaker, or end up with a Dutch bloke that speaks English with a Dutch accent, which will really piss me off, I'll just do what Journeyman said. If there's love, it won't matter anymore (I hope). |
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I'll just do what Journeyman said. If there's love, it won't matter anymore (I hope). Hope for the best for you crystal! You'll know if it's right. I like being an American & speaking only english. Over in Europe there you get so many different cultures & languages it must get confusing
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I'll just do what Journeyman said. If there's love, it won't matter anymore (I hope). Hope for the best for you crystal! You'll know if it's right. I like being an American & speaking only english. Over in Europe there you get so many different cultures & languages it must get confusing Yeah, I spose at some point I'll meet someone and it will just work out :) We got a lot of German tourists here during summer and holiday season. I'm trying to learn German, so I can get myself a nicer job (German is always required cos of the tourists), but I'd rather speak French (easier). The last couple of years we get a lot of Polish here. Many of their kids (teens) work in supermarkets. It's like being abroad in your own local supermarket, haha. |
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You're an anglophile. Distancing yourself from your "native"
language is a way of removing yourself from your native heritage. You want to be English so you speak mainly English and avoid Dutch. |
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I find it interesting that you are so bothered by wanting to be with people you can actually talk to. That's pretty much what it boils down to doesn't it? I can't say I would want to date someone who I couldn't understand. Am I missing something? I think you are, not sure what the he(ck you're getting at Can you translate it in Dutch? Maybe it works better after all In your OP you say something about going on a date with a guy who didn't speak English except for yes and no. Then more recently you got an email from a guy who speaks Dutch and I gather you used to speak Dutch but you don't anymore. So you don't want to date him or start anything with him. At one point you said something about feeling like crying which I understood was because you were upset about your reaction to your situation at rejecting someone based on communication gaps. Haha, I'll try to explain again. I am Dutch, so Dutch is my first language. My ex was British, so I got used to speaking English 100%, 24/7 for 10, 11 years. Plus I've had (and still have) quite a lot of UK friends. Every time I have a conversation in Dutch, my own language, I have this problem that I can't seem to think of certain words or phrases in my own language anymore, but I do know them in English. So when I"m having a conversation with Dutch ppl, it's in Dutch obviously, but there's always English in it as well. Now I had this date earlier on this year and he didn't really understand English. So I had difficulty explaining things to him, even though we were both Dutch. I guess I never realized how much English I use in daily speech till I went on a date with that guy. If a Dutch guy doesn't really speak English, I seem to lose interest on the spot. And I don't really understand why. Oh well, difficult to explain. Kinda feels like I'm doomed by my love of language. Either find myself a native speaker, or end up with a Dutch bloke that speaks English with a Dutch accent, which will really piss me off, I'll just do what Journeyman said. If there's love, it won't matter anymore (I hope). So, what you are saying is that if you agree to go on a a date with a guy, then you refuse to go Dutch. |
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So now it's about like your native tongue is English and you've lost contact with your actual heritage or something like that. Maybe you should move to America. Just about all of us have lost contact with our heritage here. lol
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Hold out for an English speaking man, IR's a shame in the not too distant future the universal language will b Spanish, its a damn shame, thus is America speak ENGLISH it USED 2 b the universal language!
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Depending on what part of the country; especially some neighborhoods, Spanish is dominant in the USA. Many employment positions now require it.
Possibly it is an easier language to pick up than English or moreover "American" that is heavily influenced by a var4iety of languages and slang and visual inflections that fall out by the sometimes limited vocabulary most American's use. I don't know. But what I do know is in "immigrant neighborhoods" Spanish is dominant so if you come in speaking any other language you are going to need to know Spanish to shop and deal in your own neighborhood weather you speak an Asian, Russian, German, Italian, Portuguese, French, Hindi, or any of the Middle Eastern languages. |
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I had a German boyfriend in highschool and then after I HS but before college I went to germany to visit him. As I recall we didnt talk alot so it didn't matter
 he spoke excellent English and I spoke passable german but it really did not matter 
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Hold out for an English speaking man, IR's a shame in the not too distant future the universal language will b Spanish, its a damn shame, thus is America speak ENGLISH it USED 2 b the universal language! Uh, Mingle2 is an international website. Not every member is in the USA. By the way, the natives of England wish that Americans would speak English, too.
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Communication is very important. The fact that you said you felt like crying means you had no bad intentions or dislike for this guy.Sometimes things don't work out and its no one fault.No worries , no harm done.
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I am at the age if someone does not speak my language I am just not willing to deal with the frustration of developing a relationship where there is a communication barrier.
It is not that I could not learn a second language or even appreciate another culture but I just do not want to work that hard at what would be relatively easy to accomplish with someone who did. |
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Crystal, I seem to recall you talking about cultural differences as well and how the English tend to be more about "keeping up appearances". Maybe you would get on better with a Scotsman?
But anyway, I noticed from your profile that you say that you are currently writing a novel but it's in Dutch. Are you finding that difficult, as far as expressing your ideas goes as well? |
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So now it's about like your native tongue is English and you've lost contact with your actual heritage or something like that. Maybe you should move to America. Just about all of us have lost contact with our heritage here. lol Maybe some have Izzy, but not I, nor will I ever. Despite English being my primary language spoken, and despite the fact that I rarely speak in Spanish to others here in Texas, I have never disconnected from or forgotten the language or the culture. Just saying!
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Crystal, I seem to recall you talking about cultural differences as well and how the English tend to be more about "keeping up appearances". Maybe you would get on better with a Scotsman? But anyway, I noticed from your profile that you say that you are currently writing a novel but it's in Dutch. Are you finding that difficult, as far as expressing your ideas goes as well? I was wondering the same Tawt...How does one write a book in a language they no longer command? 
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