Kinda be nice to know what the heck happened to my relationships. Maybe even get a little constructive criticism. Questions like
What was your reason for ending relationship?

Did partner send too many messages or not enough?

On a scale of 1-10 (ten being best). Was partner attentive?

Was partner not attractive enough?

Had partner been closer would things have been different?

How likely are you to recommend partner to others haha!

List three things positive about partner.

Three negative things.

Any additional comments???

Overall rating 1 to 10, 10 being best.

Or maybe I don't wanna know after all! No one ever fills the dang things out anyways....

Way back when,I might have wanted to know..but
Not now.
It may sound bad, but I'm not making that many
changes to my character for anyone.

Yeah... I wanted to know, until someone ACTUALLY told me what his problem was with me
Now...I'm with 2kids on this one

Giggitty...

I'm inclined to say: if you don't even know why a relationship ended, then you didn't pay attention nor listened?
Relationships don't end just like that without any clues.

You can usually find plenty of answers if you go back to what happened and analyze what was said, done etc. You just gotta put your emotions aside.

Sometimes you can still talk about it with the other person, so you get clarity. In other cases you can't or maybe can but still won't get the answers.
Then you'll just have to learn to let go, accept.

Since every relationship is different, I don't think that would do very much good. Every relationship I've been in has ended for a different reason, sure they all turned out to be major a s s holes, but still there were different specific reasons.

And I agree with 2kids, I'm not changing myself to fit into anyone's else mold of what I "should" be, so it doesn't really matter what they think.

I like myself.

Actually I did listen. And the relationship I'm talking about ended on a BS accusation. One minute its I love you and the next you did this and I'm done! Literally minute to minute! And then the person totally shut down. With the exception of making a few comments and then shutting down again. I can move on and I can wish him well. But part of me wonders what the hell happened? What did I actually say or do that changed his mind? But I agree with your comments. Its just a thought I have.

listened?
Relationships don't end just like that without any clues.

You can usually find plenty of answers if you go back to what happened and analyze what was said, done etc. You just gotta put your emotions aside.

Sometimes you can still talk about it with the other person, so you get clarity. In other cases you can't or maybe can but still won't get the answers.
Then you'll just have to learn to let go, accept.



Actually I did listen. And the relationship I'm talking about ended on a BS accusation. One minute its I love you and the next you did this and I'm done! Literally minute to minute! And then the person totally shut down. With the exception of making a few comments and then shutting down again. I can move on and I can wish him well. But part of me wonders what the hell happened? What did I actually say or do that changed his mind? But I agree with your comments. Its just a thought I have.

Perhaps there was nothing you could have done, and the relationship just ran its course...I've been in situations when all I could do was walk away from the other person and leave them to their ********, madness, etc. Sometimes there's literally nothing you can do in a relationship but let it go.

I'm loving myself more everyday. I can accept change.
No he's far from an azz. And I think good of him. Its the oddest thing I've ever experienced and one of the most heartbreaking. Id love to talk about it with him but its pointless. Time to move on. All is good. Just one of those thoughts.

Been there, done that.

Actually you are from another country SO I don't really think you know how American men really are. I think you come off as rude here but of course that is my opinion.
There have been times I ended a relationship and the men never understood why. I guess they didn't understand that I don't have to be in a relationship and I don't have to take a bunch of BS.
Maybe you are going off of your relationships? But there is a way to answer post with a little bit of respect!!

Indeed your opinion. And practice what you preach. Oh well, at least you weren't shouting for once.
And also for the men that didn't understand (which is you projecting here, not me); if they'd analyze they'd probably see the pointers that were there before breaking up.
Breaking up happens for a reason, a solid relationship doesn't fall apart one minute to the next.

I think if someone abandons a relationship with you it is past the stage of communicating about it.

Sometimes if you are lucky enough to get some feed back from their friends but that may or may not be all that accurate.

My feeling is often people communicate about their relationship but rarely do partners listen and see the communication that is going on. A lot of it is not verbal but actions, reactions, body language, and what you see them prioritize. OFTEN what is Not said is more important than what is said.

Looking at OP's survey list I would make some comments. I am thinking more in GENERIC terms than personal so please view it as that. Focusing on the on-line aspects first.

If a person starts an interaction with you on line there is at least a minimum of acceptance of you and your profile as attractive enough. If your profile shots are really miss leading well you have made your own failure. Why I rarely recommend a single glamor shot with out a photo story board that backs who you are day to day. A series of head and shoulder selfies is a waste of profile real estate. Showing you doing what you do day to day is going to let you be accepted or passed over for who you are. People who pass over you because they don't like who you are day to day are actually doing you a favor. You have to be who you are because pulling your self through a knot hole to be something you are not naturally is a recipe for eventual failure anyway so they are just not beating you up for nothing.

I personally think Dating; especially having a relationship is LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION!!! Come on get real, if the person you are talking to is half a day away by any reasonably accessible/affordable means of transportation they have to be in person with you then you are "Playing" at dating, having a FANTASY, or at best an electronic pen-pal NOT a relationship.

INTRODUCTIONS happen on line. You get acquainted and then you have get to the real world part of the connect. If one or both people have their economic feet nailed to the floor somewhere then you are dead in the water.

The reality is if one or both parties are not up for moving together then face facts and plan on staying single until you are ready to do that. It is a big decision and requires commitment, compromise; not majic or some fairy tale picky dust putting a spell over someone making them abandon their life. Of all the long distance couples I have seen develop on Mingle the people involved had to make big sacrifices. They scrimped and traveled to get the relationships going but eventually sacrificed to keep them going. If you are not up for moving away from family, employment, friends, whatever then face it.

There is nothing wrong with living your life solo and going out on friends basis. Being happy in your own element is very attractive, almost magnetic, and will draw someone in your own environment to you. The idea that there are dating wastelands is just HOGWASH.

All that said sometimes if you are miserable where you are at a move to a new place does help but if you are moving hoping someone you hardly know is going to hold you up until you get the life you want is probably not going to happen. Relationships under that kind of stress have about much chance of any rebound relationship and them you have one more tanked relationship to chip away at your self esteem.

I personally think most of us would seriously do it we can know our strengths and weaknesses. The thing is trying to hang on to your strengths and mitigate your weaknesses. What is strengths and weaknesses vary with different people. But overcoming weaknesses is what gets you success in dating.

Example A When my kids were younger I had a demanding array of disabilities and cultures in my family picture. I could try to pretend it was no big deal or focus my efforts on people in like situation or who had experience with it. The majority of my dates then and now have that factor in it. Relieves a lot of stress and avoids a lot of hassles. A person who has a very defined sense of tradition, fixed in one location when I am used to the military gypsy lifestyle would be really a poor match.

Example B I can be an distant independent ***** when I need to but sweet and deferring with someone I have grown to trust. It works great for me with people who want someone who values the peace of mind that when their back is turned for work that every pretty face that comes along doesn't put stars in my eyes. But a person who wants to jump into a relationship is around all the time to see what's up would be terribly frustrated with that. He would feel like he was slugging through mud just to get to the starting gate. I have had plenty of guys just throw in the towel because I don't give up the digits which some of my family and closest friends don't have.

Example C. I did the Mommy track, enjoyed the heck out of it but now that part of my life is on the back burner doing fine on their own, but hey when I see a guy who has/wants kids I don't bust his chops I just move him toward friends who want same. Guys who missed the parenting years being at work or was in a childless relationship might want big time involvement in Grand parenting.

All these examples don't make them wrong just different choices different positives/negatives.

I never shout except at people I don't like maybe...so I guess I should be shouting. Not all relationships have to have 1 reason for breaking up...there could be many. Plus my relationships have been solid and luckily I have never had to live with an ex until I found a place to live! I just do not know how you did that one. I think someone would have been gone and it would not have been me.

Pacific, that's exactly what it was falling for a fantasy. But there were real people on both ends. And I'm grateful for that other real person.
I'll pray for him always because in all actuality he was heaven sent. And I'm going to leave it at that.

I haven't found anyone disrespectful. I appreciate both you and unsures views.

Such a good answer. I always hope the best for my ex and sometimes we are better off not knowing the answers?