Been thinking about this for quite some time. I get the idea that men expect you to be exclusive once you get some exchange via PM going? As in: you're still in the barely getting to know each other phase, exploring, then you mention something on the forums about dating or a possibly date with a guy and suddenly the one you were talking to disappears.
Do men (and maybe women as well) expect you to be chaste and exclusive as soon as you get in touch via PM?
Should I put my life on hold when you're just exploring if something is going somewhere or not? With a man that doesn't even live in my country, so chances are slim.
Should I just lie and pretend I'm not talking to or seeing anyone in the meantime?
So as soon as I'm talking to someone via PM (just getting to know each other, having a bit of fun), I cannot mention, share, ask or talk about anything on the forums about a man or a possible date anymore? Feels like I'm in restraints before I'm even in a relationship?

I am the most loyal person in the world, once I'm in a relationship, I hardly ever date, have an as good as non-existing sex life, yet I have to (pretend to) be exclusive as soon as I've exchanged more than some 2, 3 PMs?
Isn't that a load of b*ll*(ks???

I suppose in the dating scene you can, maybe even should, have several irons in the fire, but you pretend to only have one?
I guess I'm just too open and honest for that kind of chit. Never been any good at this pretending and game-playing thing that's called "dating".
I'm probably doomed to remain single, lol

I don't think lying is the answer, but I think avoiding mentioning it is preferred unless they directly ask you. I know if I talk to someone and haven't been talking to them long, I don't expect them to just be talking to me (and, in some ways, I'd be concerned if they were just talking to me) but I tend to avoid asking as I know it's not pleasant to hear.

However, if it comes to meeting up with people and there's an expectation that we're working towards relationship material, I'd want that to be exclusive. I don't think I've ever actually broached the subject though, just the way things have developed seems to be clear it's a mutual exclusive arrangement. I'm not really sure how it ends up that way without a direct discussion though... I suppose it's more just being open about what it is you want and where you hope to be at some point, so a discussion of how many frogs they've been kissing before they met me wasn't necessary.

If someone thinks a few pms is an exclusive relationship then maybe they have some control issues. Red Flag! I don't think you should put your life on hold & stop chatting with or about others, to me...thats jumping in way to fast. I wouldn't pretend I'm not conversing with others. Heck Ive learned a lot about the internet and internet dating with my ex. and in my opinion....you never really know what the other person is doing either... so...If there's trust as the relationship goes forward, then the internet shouldn't even be a factor

Being honest....I use to think, if I had an amazing interaction with someone then they have zero need to still be talking to other chicks....lol
I was so new to the dating world. I know better now. Maybe your guy thought the same....I'm really into CrystalFairy she has zero need for any other guys! It's unrealistic to think like this online but you live and learn.

No one has the right to ask another to be exclusive in a relationship including sex until they are willing to meet the needs of the other so that both are responsible for their relationship . To expect exclusivity without meeting much less agreeing to meet another pesons sexual needs is simply immature and unrealistic. No one should anyone have the right to demand such fidelity as its a very manipulative and controlling person and is best avoided...

Haha, think I've been there too. Probably more than once ... They sweet-talk for weeks on end, you think it's really going somewhere! Then out of the blue tell you they met someone and are in a relationship Meaning you were just easy entertainment I suppose.


yeah, indeed. Like yesterday, I got a PM from someone I have recently been talking to, about a rather intimate subject that held no reference to anything we had talked about at all. It ended with "my darling".
Right ... I guess he sent his rather intimate message to the wrong woman

I wouldn't worry bout that unless a couple is at the point where they are sleeping together.

I think a lot more people have an issue with this than they would be willing to admit. I also do not think it is exclusive to forums such as this, since i have seen people do similar things with someone they have just met and exchanged numbers with at a gym, bar, club or wherever. I suspect some have a private mentality that if someone gives them the time of day, that somehow that means more than what it actually is.

Agree. It's kind of like a clash between mind and ego? The mind understanding that it's ridiculous but the ego doesn't like not being the sole focus of attention?
And then takes a step back from the situation only to do the exact same thing him/herself to someone else?

Yeah what the good DR said.^^^^

are you serious I thought we were
going to have a real discussion about the real stages
of when casual dating enters exclusivity and
commitment into sexual monogramy. What you
are talking about isn't even social monogamy
I could choose to be celibate and not date
but if something comes up, by all means, date
away. thats ridiculous! I have never tried
to do any on line dating before but if I was
I sure wouldn't want to put all my eggs in one
basket.I have talked to a few girls from a county that
I plan on spending some time in but its better to
meet people first before one gets to carried
away on a computer I would think,