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Topic: Is Chivalry Dead?
no photo
Wed 12/04/13 09:41 AM
I found a post with this title on another dating site, and while the postings restored some hope, I realised that everyone posting was 50+ in age. So I want to know this generation's (Prolly 18-25 age) view on the subject. Is Chivalry Dead? Do good guys really finish last?

no photo
Wed 12/04/13 10:08 AM
Thats true dude.....this quality is hardly appreciated nowadays i think,because all girls like flirt.
They think guys with chivalry are nerds and they cant have fun with them.
But trust me guys with such qualities can be fun around and can treat girls like princess all of his life.
May be i am wrong , but thats my point of view.:smile:

teebee79's photo
Wed 12/04/13 11:08 AM

Thats true dude.....this quality is hardly appreciated nowadays i think,because all girls like flirt.
They think guys with chivalry are nerds and they cant have fun with them.
But trust me guys with such qualities can be fun around and can treat girls like princess all of his life.
May be i am wrong , but thats my point of view.:smile:


Ok... I'm not 18-25 but don't listen to this guy noway
It's not the chivalry the girls DON'T like... It's the personality behind it.

If they already LIKE you.. chivalry is icing on that cakedrool , if they aren't feeling you... it's annoying!
frown

Chris8945's photo
Wed 12/04/13 11:09 AM
I don't think chivalry is completely dead but it's on its deathbed. Some women like being treated like garbage, abused, and used for their bodies by "jerks". It seems stockholm syndrome is the new trend replacing mutual respect and courtship. Some women want to put about as much or more effort into the relationship as men and reciprocate when men do things for them so that's not considered chivalry. Feminists commonly accuse men of only doing chivalry to get women to bed or insinuate her inferiority even if that wasn't part of the agenda.

This is Dave Chappelle's take on what happened to chivalry. He thinks part of it was women, feminists, and women's magazines.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymNdfdQvdVc

TawtStrat's photo
Wed 12/04/13 01:00 PM
I think that the other side of that coin is that women that have been treated like crap by other guys will go looking for their "knight in shining armour" and when they find him they will treat him like crap because they are damaged goods and won't really allow a guy to get close to them. There's one here on this site that I dated for a little while and she's back again saying that she's looking for an honest guy but she wasn't honest with me and she used me for sex and then f**ked off and went back to her abusive "ex" when I started saying that I wasn't completely happy with the way that it was going. It's not only men that do that.

I'm not even sure what you mean by "chivalry" anyway. To me it's just being there for a woman when she needs me and listening and trying to be supportive but other people here will tell you that that's just me wearing some sort of "nice guy" disguise and I'm really just trying to change and control them. I would really like to know what it is that doesn't count as controlling behaviour, apart from just not giving a crap and probably somebody will say that even that is somehow manipulating the poor frails.

teebee79's photo
Wed 12/04/13 01:18 PM
I have 2 daughters 22 and 19... They appreciate chivalry. They both have boyfriends who open doors, pull out chairs, pays the dinner bill.
When it seems effortless for the young man/ older man then it's appreciated. If you automatically open the door or pull out a chair CONSISTENTANTLY it's you... it's your personality.
Young ladies appreciate this.

If you do it sometimes to impress her or others and forget any other time, then that's fake and she will not respond to it.

Women don't LOOK for abusers or guys who treat them badly, but if that's a cycle you are use to, then that is what you generally get.. that's a whole different subject altogether.

For the 22 year old OP, be a gentleman.. open doors.. pull out chairs, girls will like it. If one turns into a girlfrined.. DON'T STOP THE CHIVALRY!!!

teebee79's photo
Wed 12/04/13 01:21 PM

This is Dave Chappelle's take on what happened to chivalry. He thinks part of it was women, feminists, and women's magazines.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymNdfdQvdVc


Dave is a funny funny man... but I hope you aren't taking relationship advice from him noway whoa

Aquadave's photo
Wed 12/04/13 01:57 PM
Edited by Aquadave on Wed 12/04/13 01:58 PM
Chivalry is not dead. I open doors bring chocolates and pick flowers. Thing about picking flowers for girls is make sure the yard you're picking them has a half blind lady with a walker so she can't catch or ID you.
Yes nice guys do finish last and they should make sure their girl finishes a couple times before them

Shy_Emo_chick's photo
Wed 12/04/13 02:01 PM
Edited by Shy_Emo_chick on Wed 12/04/13 02:06 PM
Not always. And they don't need to look flashy or rich to prove it. I've dated certain one's who were chivralous. It isn't dead. It just depends who you're involved with.

I just don't buy that "I'm a nice guy" crap, or the white knight in shinilng armour rubbish. I get suspicious of any guy who declare's it, because if you truly are as nice as you say, you wouldn't need to say it. It will just show.

TawtStrat's photo
Wed 12/04/13 02:06 PM
I get women to open doors for me and they go to the bar for me in pubs.

How cool is that?

no photo
Wed 12/04/13 02:16 PM
I appreciate everyone's replies. I must agree with Chris that it is on its deathbed if not totally dead, as there are girls out there who are aware of things guys do for them, but this is rare, and I really only see it with older couples, my parents, and grandparents. When my ex told me that she nearly got straight up molested on a first date, then later revealed how 'exciting' that was for her, (This being the same girl who got bored with me and becomes self consious because I don't look at her like an object) I had to ask this question, because she's not the only girl who's like this.

TawtStrat's photo
Wed 12/04/13 02:28 PM
Your ex was just looking for a guy that was more dominant sexually. That has very little to do with chivalry or a history of abuse. You can have a woman that likes it a bit rough in the bedroom that still expects you to run after her opening doors and stuff.

Sexual behaviour really has nothing or very little to do with anything else. Society just tends to stigmatise people as being nymphos or sex addicts because it isn't considered to be "normal".

Aquadave's photo
Wed 12/04/13 02:37 PM
If chivalry is dead This is prob why I have so many dates with girls less than half my age. They like the way I treat them they are quick to say that. They ask me out!!! That is the reason I'm here, To find and treat a woman my age the way a woman needs to be treated. My reputation for dating under 25 has ruin me for finding a woman age appropriate in my circle.
Guys want a slut in bed and a church girl everywhere else. It's up to you to make that happen. Being a rude ******* and sorry lay will never get there. You treat a woman with respect do little things to let her know you care, build TRUST, 15-30min of foreplay, she'll let you turn her into a pretzel and do things that will make a porno look like a Disney flick

Dodo_David's photo
Wed 12/04/13 03:23 PM
Uh, how about defining "chivalry".

From http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chivalry

Knightly class of feudal Europe, and especially the gallantry and honor expected of medieval knights. The ideal of courteous knightly conduct developed in the 12th–13th century. It arose out of feudal obligation (see feudalism) and stressed loyalty and obeisance by a knight to his God, his lord, and his lady, thus melding Christian and military virtues.

Chivalry was greatly strengthened by the Crusades, a military endeavor on behalf of Christianity, which led to the founding of the earliest orders of chivalry, the Knights of Malta and the Templars.

In addition to loyalty and honor, the chivalric virtues included valor, piety, courtesy, and chastity. Questions of love and honor were combined in the ethos of courtly love. The knight's lady was meant to be unobtainable, ensuring chastity; the feminine ideal thus became melded with the Virgin Mary.

In the 14th–15th century, chivalry came to be associated increasingly with aristocratic display and public ceremony, particularly in jousting tournaments, rather than with service in the field.


I don't know about anyone else, but I have no desire to be a part of feudalism, in which women have no rights.

no photo
Wed 12/04/13 06:57 PM
In this context, it's more of being a gentleman and such than the whole feudal age thing. I merely picked it because I heard the quote a few times, 'Chivalry is dead' and after taking a look around on that note, started thinking... hey, they might be right.

AmPositivewoman's photo
Wed 12/04/13 09:14 PM
Depends on age and background.

Shy_Emo_chick's photo
Wed 12/04/13 10:04 PM
You see though, maybe your ex is asking the same thing. However, just because she didn't want to be with you anymore, doesn't mean you were lacking Chivraly. It could mean she just wasn't that into you anymore. It's difficult to tell when only hearing one side of any break-up.

lionsbrew's photo
Thu 12/05/13 12:54 AM
Chivalry isn't dead or dying. Not to me at least. But a lot of people mistake being considerate or having good manners to be chivalrous. being a romantic in the classic sense I have to say chivalry lives in the spirit of a person. If you strive to be courageous, caring, and thoughtful of others being chivalrous will come naturally.

Duttoneer's photo
Thu 12/05/13 01:05 AM

I found a post with this title on another dating site, and while the postings restored some hope, I realised that everyone posting was 50+ in age. So I want to know this generation's (Prolly 18-25 age) view on the subject. Is Chivalry Dead? Do good guys really finish last?


I agree with your comment that most guys 50+ (my age group) are going to maintain their chivalry towards the ladies, old habits die hard as they say, but having said that I must say that I enjoy being chivalrous. I appreciate a lady allowing me to be courteous towards her as much as I feel she appreciates it, works both ways for me.
Is chivalry dead? Well, now we have the equality of the sexes, I guess some will feel that it should no longer be required and that may be so, but in my opinion it always will be appreciated by most ladies.

teebee79's photo
Thu 12/05/13 06:42 AM

You see though, maybe your ex is asking the same thing. However, just because she didn't want to be with you anymore, doesn't mean you were lacking Chivraly. It could mean she just wasn't that into you anymore. It's difficult to tell when only hearing one side of any break-up.


I agree with Shy... as I said, If she isn't into you ALREADY, being a gentleman isn't going to mean much.

Majority of women.. above or below 25 yrs, Like a "REAL" gentleman. Not one of Show.. this is the fake guy who does everything for the view of everyone else.
But a guy who is like this 24/7 because it is who he is.

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