Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.

If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

Here is a list found on the net!

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.


Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.


Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.


Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?


Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!


If you smoke after sex, you’re doing it too fast.


I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.


If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.


I don’t have to be dead to donate my organ.


WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.


This would be really funny if it wasn’t happening to me.


I have the body of a god… Buddha!


I get enough exercise pushing my luck.


Auntie Em- Hate you, hate Kansas, taking dog. Dorothy


If you don’t like the news, go out and make your own.


Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep


Guns don’t kill people… but they make it real easy.


I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather … Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.


We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.


Born free… taxed to death.


The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.


Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.


A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.


There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.


I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.


Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.


WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.


If you can read this, I’ve lost my trailer.


You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.


The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.


I got a gun for my wife, best trade I’ve ever made.


So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute, honey!


Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.


If, a two letter word for futility


I don’t care, I don’t have to.


Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.


Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.


To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.


I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.


Horn broken, watch for finger.


All men are idiots … I married their king.


The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.


My kid had sex with your honor student.


Earth first…we’ll mine the other planets later.


Give pizza chants.

What goes around, comes around.

but mom everyone is doing it.
When i was ur age we walked 2 miles in the snow barefoot no coat .. lol

would you jump off a cliff if everyone was doing it?

Misery loves company.



Dont bite off more than you can chew.



It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

If the shoe fits!

If it quacks like a duck & looks like a duck...

Cant see the forest through the trees

hey twilights i do love company

Awww so we have proven its relavence!

"The post man always knocks twice"

or "milkman"

give a man a fish, feed him for a day. teach a man how to fish, feed him for a lifetime.

don't **** where you eat!

Good advice king...lol


"dont eat yellow snow"

chit i did that one time ,my dog actually smiled.!!!!!!! lmao

Awwww, don't get your panties in a wad!!!

lol seahawks

lmao seahawks. i wish i could hear your dog telling that story to his buddies. lol

Didn't your mother ever tell you....If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all