Just in time for the holidays ...

The Melmacian Holiday Song Book

Who can resist singing these Melmacian classics, such as ...

"Cat Nuts"

Cat nuts roasting on an open fire,
A glass of scotch just beneath your nose,
Jail-house ditties being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up in lederhose.
Everybody knows a tabby baked with dinner rolls
Helps to soothe the appetite.
Tater tots on top of cat casseroles
Will give you funny dreams tonight.
You know that lots of snoring is on its way,
Keeping your neighbors up till the break of day,
And every mother'��s child will already have tried
To see if calico tastes better when fried.
And so I'��m offering this simple phrase
To inmates from one to ninety-two.
Although it can be done in dozens of ways,
Use cat-skinning technique #2.

... and ...

"��Snowy the Frost-man"��

Snowy the Frost-man
Was a grouchy angry soul,
With morning breath and a runny nose
And two cheeks both stuffed with Skoal*.
Snowy the Frost-man
Was a scary tale they say.
He made folks cold
Both the young and old
Before the break of day.
Scrape-scrape-chip-chip,
Scrape-scrape-chip-chip,
Snowy's on everything.
Scrape-scrape-chip-chip,
Scrape-scrape-chip-chip,
Can'��t wait till it's next Spring!


The Melmacian Holiday Songbook ... Get your copy today!


(*Skoal is a brand of chewing tobacco.)

* * *

So, what do you humans do during the holiday season?

Eat, sleep and get blootered! ( drunk )

What holiday season??

Do you mean the Halloween season? Don't celebrate Christmas so nothing to get ready for which makes it very stress free for me.

Melmacian, American, Canadian . . . Choose your holidays.

Back on planet Melmac, we celebrated the birth of the Melmacian who invented the cat-peeler. That is when we sang "Cat Nuts".

We also celebrated the day when, in unison, everyone cussed while scraping frost off the windshields of our vehicles. That is when we sang "Snowy the Frost-man".

I hope one day we'll get a Klingon member here, you know, one of them nutcases that speak Klingon, so we can set you up with her. Match made in heaven, as I'm quite sure Klingons eat cats too.
But I strongly recommend you call Frasier. If he happens to work for the same network, you might even get a discount!

Haha these are catchy! I'm gonna teach em to my kids! Maybe not the cat one because of cat nuts and scotch! But I liked it!

LOL whacky but tickles my funny bone. Thanks.

And no I don't even want to think about the holidays. Think I am going to pretend the calendar is stuck until next spring. Don't think the world will stop going around if I stop being and ATM with Hair.

Ha, the Cat Nuts one is freaking hilarious.

I'm looking forward to Halloween. I think it's too early to consider Thanksgiving and Christmas, I refuse to buy into the hype of rushing everything. I want Halloween first, darn it!

For those who think that the "Cat" song is too risqu�, here is an alternate version.

"Cat Guts"

Cat guts roasting on an open fire,
Hair braids underneath your nose*,
Jail-house ditties being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up in lederhose.
Everybody knows a tabby baked with dinner rolls
Helps to soothe the appetite.
Tater tots on top of cat casseroles
Will give you funny dreams tonight.
You know that lots of snoring is on its way,
Keeping your neighbors up till the break of day,
And every mother'��s child will already have tried
To see if calico tastes better when fried.
And so I'��m offering this simple phrase
To inmates from one to ninety-two.
Although it can be done in dozens of ways,
Use cat-skinning technique #2.



(*In order to have the hair braids, you have to let your nose hair grow long.)

That sounds itchy.

No. This is Itchy:

They get wild and hv fun to the fullest

I've got an uncle that became a born again christian but before he got a lightning bolt up his arse, as my dad puts it, he used to be a fun guy and a good laugh and we spent boxing day with him and his family every year. Now he goes on about the commercialism that he hates about christmas and the christmas trees and all of that stuff and he said to me once, It's not just that they don't see the man on the cross. Some people don't even see the baby in the manger".

It's a funny time of year for me anyway because my brother's birthday is at the end of October and mine is in November. Then there's christmas and new year. I tend to find the whole thing depressing because it's another year gone and I'm a year older and feeling that my life still sucks. Last year I did have a girlfriend that I met on here at christmas and I saw in the new year with her. Nobody sees in the new year like the Scots and you can see the fireworks from Edinburgh castle from my house. Most of the stuff on TV is a bit crap though and the last thing you're really wanting to do is watch other people having parties on the TV when you're sitting on your own, so what I tend to do is just to watch all of my comedy DVD's through the season because I've got a big collection of them.

I think I will have more interest in the holidays once all the Halloween grizzly is off the tube. Some of the gore and scare the fire out of people sounds too much like work.

I am not big into costumes, especially annoys me when I see innocent animals being annoyed by being dressed up or terrorized by cowardly creeps. Or little kids dressed up like hootchies or boogie men. Most tricker treaters are way too old to be3 bumming expensive candy now days. Can't say I blame parents for being afraid to take them out considering the minimal safe places there seems to be to take them. Always kind of wonder when some lunatic will try something demented or just a stick up.

Seems like a lot of the fun stuff around harvest seems to kind of get lost living in the city. Wish there was more emphasis on the romance of walking in the leaves, toasting marshmallows around bonfires, street dances, and and snuggling together at football games.

Maybe I will make some apple pie and see if I can think about Thanksgiving.

Seems like a lot of the fun stuff around harvest seems to kind of get lost living in the city. Wish there was more emphasis on the romance of walking in the leaves, toasting marshmallows around bonfires, street dances, and and snuggling together at football games.

Maybe I will make some apple pie and see if I can think about Thanksgiving.

Fall is the most romantic time of year here in Kentucky. We do all the things you mention above. Endless festivals and my favorite Hay rides!

I love Halloween. Its a time for us to get dressed up like when we little kids and just have fun. I love hosting the parties for my cadets as well as its a hoot for them and a safe environment. Thanksgiving was subdued here for me; just had my brother over for a Venison Roast dinner. Christmas is limited to having my brother come for dinner and no gifts exchanged, no decorations, or anything that reminds us of Christmas as we just don't care for the holiday. This year I may be working on Christmas with any luck up North so I can escape all the silliness of the Christmas hype as I will be isolated from it.

I love Christmas! Of course its gotten very commercial. I know all to well because I work in retail. Everything is what you make of it. I love how its magical to my children. I like the hustle and bustle. My favorite thing is how giving and generous people can be. I love seeing the salvation army bell ringers! Gives everyone a chance to be generous whether its a child's pennies or a millionaires dollars. The deed is exactly the same. Best of all its being close to family and friends and keeping the true meaning of Christmas in your heart not just during the season but always!

I love xmas too, even the smoke coming off my debit cards, from overuse!