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| Topic: Dating with a serious illness | |
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Julia Roberts... is smexy
 Just saying 
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"in sickness and in health" goes for a partner or a friend for me Don't see it as a factor, unless I am not able to handle the responsibilities of it. I believe, could be wrong, we all get sick and die. Could just be me though. Maybe you guys don't age or get ill or have maintained to live in your judgement bubble without anyone having a pin in their pocket. I would ceratinly hate to live a life that shallow. I have seen way too many people of value that have been afflicted with something who have had more on the ball than me to ever say I am above them in any way and can't be with them. They are afflicted, and the shallow person is just as afflicted, in a different way. This isn't totally serious. But does that mean if you met someone on the character from the movie "fight club" who was most likely near to death because of cancer and she wanted one more fling before she passed on announcing she had lubes and porn. Does that mean you would sleep with her just as easily as lets say Julia Roberts? hahaha Hi izzy Is Julia still trying to get some of you? That girl won't let you be will she. Your gonna have to figure out some way to let her down easy. |
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So here's a question for the guys out there. If you met a girl with a serious illness, and you wanted to get to know her better, would the illness matter to you? A specific answer for a specific question...No, the illness would not matter to me... 
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It would if she was a fruitcake and went to bed with a pair of garden shears under her pillow!
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It would if she was a fruitcake and went to bed with a pair of garden shears under her pillow! Or an ice pick. (Basic Instinct, I still love that movie) |
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How is it shallow to not want to date a very ill person? And there's a difference in being involved with someone and they fall ill and meeting an ill person and taking on massive responsibilities. If I was married to a guy and he got sick, that's not the same thing as meeting a sick person and choosing not to date him. I think you're the one being a bit judgemental here... (((Paints))) it's not shallow really.. a lot of people Feel this way It's hard to understand.. unless you can see it from both Sides. Much love and respect
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It is a very good question though (the OP).
My first reaction is "no" too, but I must admit it does depend on the illness and the feelings between me and the other person. If there are no feelings yet, I wouldn't go there. May sound a bit harsh, but I grew up with a sister with a serious illness and I suffered a lot because of it. So I'm not keen on the responsibilities etc that come with illness. Been there at too young an age. |
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I would, but there are physical illnesses that can ruin your sex life, so I'd want to be sure they'd want to be with me.
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It is a very good question though (the OP). My first reaction is "no" too, but I must admit it does depend on the illness and the feelings between me and the other person. If there are no feelings yet, I wouldn't go there. May sound a bit harsh, but I grew up with a sister with a serious illness and I suffered a lot because of it. So I'm not keen on the responsibilities etc that come with illness. Been there at too young an age.
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"in sickness and in health" goes for a partner or a friend for me Don't see it as a factor, unless I am not able to handle the responsibilities of it. I believe, could be wrong, we all get sick and die. Could just be me though. Maybe you guys don't age or get ill or have maintained to live in your judgement bubble without anyone having a pin in their pocket. I would ceratinly hate to live a life that shallow. I have seen way too many people of value that have been afflicted with something who have had more on the ball than me to ever say I am above them in any way and can't be with them. They are afflicted, and the shallow person is just as afflicted, in a different way. This isn't totally serious. But does that mean if you met someone on the character from the movie "fight club" who was most likely near to death because of cancer and she wanted one more fling before she passed on announcing she had lubes and porn. Does that mean you would sleep with her just as easily as lets say Julia Roberts? hahaha Hi izzy Is Julia still trying to get some of you? That girl won't let you be will she. Your gonna have to figure out some way to let her down easy. Wow. I didn't even know that Julia knew who I was. How did you find out that info? Hmmmmmmm I notice you didn't answer the question though. |
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Julia Roberts... is smexy Just saying I've always thought her hair and smile were so amazing. |
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Maybe I should have chosen Pamela Anderson or Jenna Jameson or Mick Foley. lol
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I wont do it again, but my mine was in a quite different situation. I'm dating a guy before, we're very okay and he became my fiance... I was so surprised when one day he was admitted to hospital, I thought it wasnt a serious illness. I was so shocked, he had a heart disease. He almost recovered and thought he would be released on the third day of being hospitalized. But he died the 2nd night, just 5 minutes after we talked through phone. It's so unexpected and very hard. That was 18 mos ago and I really learned from it.
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I wont do it again, but my mine was in a quite different situation. I'm dating a guy before, we're very okay and he became my fiance... I was so surprised when one day he was admitted to hospital, I thought it wasnt a serious illness. I was so shocked, he had a heart disease. He almost recovered and thought he would be released on the third day of being hospitalized. But he died the 2nd night, just 5 minutes after we talked through phone. It's so unexpected and very hard. That was 18 mos ago and I really learned from it. That's sad. I'm sorry.
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Not all serious illnesses lead to death, they just need a little help. I have to say that I am shocked that people are so shallow with this subject. i thought you take the good with the bad, but I guess not.
I had cancer and I am now in remission BUT I now suffer from migraines. I have other things going on but I won't go in to details with everyone on here because there are so many uncaring people on here. If you read my profile it says that I do NOT want to date anyone that I am here just for friends. I only hope that none of you get sick and need help and you are left out in the cold!! Good Luck with things if you do get sick, you are going to need someone that is more understanding than you are!!
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Why do you think I stayed with a bipolar for so long? 12 years. But how would YOU handle someone who went around, sleeping with random women, even if it IS part of their illness? That's the part that I couldn't handle, anymore. Many times I listened to him, but if he couldn't see past his urge, then neither could I. So I could date an ill person, as long as they wanted to be with me. I don't judge by illness. Ill people need love too :(
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I think threads like these are pretty great to have on mingle. It helps us see a very important side to each other. Illnesses for example brings out the real us, whether we are the one ill or not.
Izzy, sorry for no answer, not sure I got the question. It almost sounded like you were asking me if a do mercy sex, but maybe that's not where you were going with it. I know the scene you were talking about in fight club and found it sad even though the twist the movie put on it was pretty interesting. great movie, with all of it's darkness yet deeper meaning |
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Not all serious illnesses lead to death, they just need a little help. I have to say that I am shocked that people are so shallow with this subject. i thought you take the good with the bad, but I guess not. I had cancer and I am now in remission BUT I now suffer from migraines. I have other things going on but I won't go in to details with everyone on here because there are so many uncaring people on here. If you read my profile it says that I do NOT want to date anyone that I am here just for friends. I only hope that none of you get sick and need help and you are left out in the cold!! Good Luck with things if you do get sick, you are going to need someone that is more understanding than you are!! Yep, sometimes on mingle I get a little shocked too and I have to step back and think about some of these folks. Hard for me I guess to get my mind around the lack of caring I see sometimes. Some of us don't think twice about this stuff cause we see people as people (equals) but I guess if someone lives in a much smaller mindset they may see it totally different. |
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Why do you think I stayed with a bipolar for so long? 12 years. But how would YOU handle someone who went around, sleeping with random women, even if it IS part of their illness? That's the part that I couldn't handle, anymore. Many times I listened to him, but if he couldn't see past his urge, then neither could I. So I could date an ill person, as long as they wanted to be with me. I don't judge by illness. Ill people need love too :( Having a partner doing the random sex thing would have to be the nightmare of nightmares. |
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I think threads like these are pretty great to have on mingle. It helps us see a very important side to each other. Illnesses for example brings out the real us, whether we are the one ill or not. Izzy, sorry for no answer, not sure I got the question. It almost sounded like you were asking me if a do mercy sex, but maybe that's not where you were going with it. I know the scene you were talking about in fight club and found it sad even though the twist the movie put on it was pretty interesting. great movie, with all of it's darkness yet deeper meaning You could call it mercy sex if you wanted. I guess it wouldn't be to far off from that. But I was going for someone who is on the verge of death and looks really bad vs getting into a relationship with a perfectly healthy person who is also very attractive. Maybe I should have put it this way. If you had a supermodel and someone who looked like they just came out of a Nazi concentration camp. Could you really honestly say that you would give both an equal chance to win your heart? It is human nature to seek out healthy people. It gives the best chance of offspring. I don't think it has anything to do with being shallow. Its about the biological need to procreate and the best chance of doing that is with healthier people. That's probably why I personally am not attracted to people who look like walking skeletons who should be staring on the walking dead. lol |
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