Topic: Love or arranged | |
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all marriages are arranged by someone either through an introduction by friends or an introduction by parents False. Not everyone gets into relationships that way. |
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it is not something that has been done in west for centuries (in mainstream western culture anyway)so many of us in the west will not have a close connection to your question. many (not ALL) of us see it as an outdated paternalized practice - like slavery. Which it can be like slavery if the match is unwelcome to one of the parties.
I would not cooperate with it. I think people should be allowed to follow their hearts. it wrong to force people into a sexual relatonship against their will. That is human trafficking. I know my opinion won't sit well with some of our friends frm India, however, I feel that I am correct. Religion cannot play such a large part in ones life that it permits inappropriate behavior. Monsoon Wedding BTW is one of my favorite movies, and it did work out there, but so did the honest love match between the merchant and the housekeeper...which in my opinion was the real wedding :) |
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I don't know about where the OP lives but, in many parts of the US, the only virgins you can find are ugly 4th graders.
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I think American's maybe other countries like to think that arranged marriage is a thing of the past but in our society the reality is that often parents do dictate who their kids are exposed to by where they go and how they are educated. Country club kids rarely date anyone from the Hood and a homeschooled or rural poor rarely marry outside of their race church or economic groupe. Depending how young you want to count couples as "child brides/grooms" the number of teens that are starting family groupings; even living together collecting child support or at least public funding that goes into the financial pool of step parents or extended family at a very early age is significant. And appauling. Today multiple "mates" are common even if marriage is not. this is true to a degree adnd why theatre/movies like West Side Story were so popular, and Dirty Dancing, or Pretty In Pink...the whole "other side of the tracks" notion. In India because of the Caste system those types of matches would never happen. In America, where we live affects who we meet but does not dictate that nor does it prevent individual choice. We also place more emphasis on the individual here in the west, particularly the states. I actually know a few people who ended up with someone from their home town,but their families were not "social equals" always. Many go off to work or college and meet all kinds of people. Actually since school desegragation in the 70s....we see alot more country clubbers interacting with the hood. |
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Like Muslims, are 8 year holds available for them to force marry?
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I don't know. Arranged marriage is part of India's
culture, and there's over a billion people in India. Of course, that doesn't allude to every child being born out of love between the parents. I'm pretty sure there are a good number of loveless marriages in North America and Europe as well, where arranged marriage isn't common. |
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all marriages are arranged by someone either through an introduction by friends or an introduction by parents False. Not everyone gets into relationships that way. not all, but many are introduced by others 'love' comes and goes and can develop as long as there is attraction and chemistry nothing says parents or relatives are any less likely to recognize such factors than friends are,,, |
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I don't really get how you mix up arranged marriage and being introduced to someone?
Sure, if you get introduced to someone by a colleague/friend/family and fall in love, decide to get married, someone will arrange the marriage. But that is not an "arranged marriage" even though the marriage will be arranged. Maybe handy to have some info on what an arranged marriage is, so we're all talking about the same thing here. Traditional Arranged Marriages Most people- at least if they're from a Western country, think of arranged marriage as something the parents have arbitrarily decided on, with no thought as to what the child really wants. It is as if love is too frivolous a thing to base a lifelong commitment on. In some respects, this view of arranged marriage is true. But even the most traditional arranged marriages are not usually so cut-throat. Definition The actual definition of an arranged marriage is a marriage that is established before a lengthy relationship.(1) So in a sense, it is the opposite to a love marriage, where marriage would be considered the final step to solidating the relationship. The extent to which the parents are involved in the process can vary. In a traditional marriage (not forced), the parents choose their son or daughter's future spouse with only a little input from the soon to be newly-weds. If either the son or daughter refuse the choice, the parents tend to respect their wishes, and will find someone else.The main motivation factor in such marriages is the happiness of the son or daughter, but the standpoint is that "Parents know best." That said, the parents will often exert considerable pressure on their child to marry the person they have chosen, because they do strongly believe that they know best. (1) A forced marriage is a different matter. In a forced marriage , the parents do not allow the future newly-weds to have any say in their choice of spouse. This form of arranged marriage is rare, but in some parts of the world, such as the Middle East, and parts of Africa and Asia, it does exist. If he or she refuses to marry their chosen person, they will be punished, or sometimes, even killed. In most cases, their objection is simply ignored, and the marriage takes place anyway Factors in an arranged marriage In Western societies, physical attraction usually plays a large part in who we initially decide to go out with. But arranged marriages- which are in part based on the assumption that young people will just seek pleasure instead of looking at the big picture, are much more analytical. The major factors that must be taken into account are: Reputation- of the family. Vocation- the more prestigious, the better. Wealth. Appearance- height and color are the main traits to consider. Values- traditional/ liberal. Caste/ Religion. Horoscope- must be compatible (this was traditionally true). Medical- Hereditary disease is becoming an increasingly important factor. |
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again,, arranged marriage is not SYNONYMOUS with forced marriage
of course, a forced marriage is an undesirable one however, a marriage in which the people who know the parties best 'hook them up', in my opinion, are every bit as legitimate have every bit the chance of lasting and every bit the chance of falling in 'love' as any other relationship |
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Cute.
From all, to many. I'd wager some. Or, would you believe, a few. Like the Aussie lass stated, there's a system to it. BTW, I looked it up. Legal age to marry in India. Men, 21. Women, 18. Thank God, they don't rape babies like the Muslims. |
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