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| Topic: Love 3 | |
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Love 3
Your soft silhouette I trace in the night Breathing gently and dreaming Of what I have no sight I caress your body You awaken with a moan We move together Our love is strong Making love in unison We reach the tip After we separate Share a kiss on the lips As I have no other I deeply love you Happy to know You love me too |
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From the heart pard !
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Thank you kik!
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Awesome! Hippie!
 
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Do you want an honest critique or do you just want praise?
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Thank you ouizee!
@Gwendolyn--- these are my friends, they encourage me even when I've been in a slump, which I am in now. Either you like it or you don't, everyone has an opinion. Maybe inspiration will start striking me again? |
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Do you want an honest critique or do you just want praise? Do you want a nice warm WELCOME ! OR a "OH....it's YOU again" ..... 
WELCOME ! 
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Edited by
tommyboy1101
on
Wed 08/14/13 03:43 AM
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Old,
I like this one. Not only does it read well, it's full of necessary emotion. Now, that's what I got out of it. As for, " Gwendolyn " let me just say that she's obviously not in attendance with the view that 'all' are trying in here. We're simply trying. And, this IS just another poetry forum. " We're simple people/poets in here, Gwen, nothing more, nothing less. And we, most especially, enjoy 'heaping' praise on those deserving. It's what we do. " - So, here's a hint, head out and find your own space. Aye, there's plenty out there from which to choose. Old, I think what you do in here is grand! Never ever change, for your influences, your quieter moments, have brought us ALL . . . joy. You're definitely good!! Please allow that I remain most respectfully, thom douglas carlisle, ( Irish Tommy Moran ) - Ireland, Wed. Aug. 14th, 2013 PS: Gwen, this " Bud's " for you . . .  
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very nice
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Old,
I like this one. Not only does it read well, it's full of necessary emotion. Now, that's what I got out of it. As for, " Gwendolyn " let me just say that she's obviously not in attendance with the view that 'all' are trying in here. We're simply trying. And, this IS just another poetry forum. " We're simple people/poets in here, Gwen, nothing more, nothing less. And we, most especially, enjoy 'heaping' praise on those deserving. It's what we do. " - So, here's a hint, head out and find your own space. Aye, there's plenty out there from which to choose. Old, I think what you do in here is grand! Never ever change, for your influences, your quieter moments, have brought us ALL . . . joy. You're definitely good!! Please allow that I remain most respectfully, thom douglas carlisle, ( Irish Tommy Moran ) - Ireland, Wed. Aug. 14th, 2013 PS: Gwen, this " Bud's " for you . . .
=== What I said is not off-topic. Writers post their works because they want: 1. An honest critique or 2. Praise without true analysis If I posted my work, I would want people to make an honest evaluation of it and why they think as they do. Writers need to grow thick skins if they wish to grow as writers. My question was quite legitimate, but I get the prevailing wind. It is my fault for thinking, yet again, that a community of writers might really "get together" and give feedback. Mea culpa. |
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Edited by
KiK2me
on
Wed 08/14/13 08:49 AM
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OH ...it's YOU again
lol
ARS GRATIA ARTIS ! 
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Love 3 Your soft silhouette I trace in the night Breathing gently and dreaming Of what I have no sight I caress your body You awaken with a moan We move together Our love is strong Making love in unison We reach the tip After we separate Share a kiss on the lips As I have no other I deeply love you Happy to know You love me too Way......RAWR......and I would know....rawr stuff.. (((( hippie)))))    
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Always a pleasure
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Thank you tommyboy, and sanjee, and 2km, and pkh and kik.
Gwen, I thought I made it clear, you can post your honest opinion. The reason I think I'm in a slump is because I was trying to make it rhyme and I should free flow like most of my "poems." Sometimes I think I am my harshest critic. And thank you again my friends. And you too Gwen. |
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Well spoken, ye 'old' hippie, (lol.) Well done! I still don't think Gwen's getting it though.
* Gwen, Gwen,Gwen, my, my, my. Again, might it not be time to find a New forum?? For we here enjoy heaping praise where praise is due. And, as ye can see, based on all the 'followups' we really don't have time to either accept, nor shall we condone your thinking. Take a deep look inside, will we? Good job, Old. We're with ye as ye can see. You're writing deserves praise for both content, and, originality. tommy boy === |
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 Aww shucks...
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