Topic: Love 3
oldhippie1952's photo
Tue 08/13/13 09:22 AM
Love 3

Your soft silhouette
I trace in the night
Breathing gently and dreaming
Of what I have no sight

I caress your body
You awaken with a moan
We move together
Our love is strong

Making love in unison
We reach the tip
After we separate
Share a kiss on the lips

As I have no other
I deeply love you
Happy to know
You love me too

no photo
Tue 08/13/13 10:38 AM
From the heart pard !
drinker

oldhippie1952's photo
Tue 08/13/13 12:21 PM
Thank you kik! drinks

no photo
Tue 08/13/13 01:48 PM
Awesome! Hippie!

:heart: flowerforyou

Gwendolyn2008's photo
Tue 08/13/13 02:29 PM
Do you want an honest critique or do you just want praise?

oldhippie1952's photo
Tue 08/13/13 04:42 PM
Thank you ouizee!


@Gwendolyn--- these are my friends, they encourage me even when I've been in a slump, which I am in now. Either you like it or you don't, everyone has an opinion. Maybe inspiration will start striking me again?

no photo
Tue 08/13/13 04:51 PM

Do you want an honest critique or do you just want praise?


Do you want a nice warm WELCOME !
OR a "OH....it's YOU again"
.....

:laughing:

WELCOME !
biggrin

tommyboy1101's photo
Wed 08/14/13 03:35 AM
Edited by tommyboy1101 on Wed 08/14/13 03:43 AM
Old, winking

I like this one. Not only does it read well, it's full of necessary emotion. Now, that's what I got out of it. As for, " Gwendolyn " let me just say that she's obviously not in attendance with the view that 'all' are trying in here. We're simply trying. And, this IS just another poetry forum.

" We're simple people/poets in here, Gwen, nothing more, nothing less. And we, most especially, enjoy 'heaping' praise on those deserving. It's what we do. " - So, here's a hint, head out and find your own space. Aye, there's plenty out there from which to choose.

Old, I think what you do in here is grand! Never ever change, for your influences, your quieter moments, have brought us ALL . . . joy. You're definitely good!!

Please allow that I remain most respectfully,

thom douglas carlisle, ( Irish Tommy Moran ) - Ireland, Wed. Aug. 14th, 2013

PS: Gwen, this " Bud's " for you . . . offtopic grumble

===

no photo
Wed 08/14/13 03:40 AM
very nice

Gwendolyn2008's photo
Wed 08/14/13 08:12 AM

Old, winking

I like this one. Not only does it read well, it's full of necessary emotion. Now, that's what I got out of it. As for, " Gwendolyn " let me just say that she's obviously not in attendance with the view that 'all' are trying in here. We're simply trying. And, this IS just another poetry forum.

" We're simple people/poets in here, Gwen, nothing more, nothing less. And we, most especially, enjoy 'heaping' praise on those deserving. It's what we do. " - So, here's a hint, head out and find your own space. Aye, there's plenty out there from which to choose.

Old, I think what you do in here is grand! Never ever change, for your influences, your quieter moments, have brought us ALL . . . joy. You're definitely good!!

Please allow that I remain most respectfully,

thom douglas carlisle, ( Irish Tommy Moran ) - Ireland, Wed. Aug. 14th, 2013

PS: Gwen, this " Bud's " for you . . . offtopic grumble

===


What I said is not off-topic. Writers post their works because they want:

1. An honest critique

or

2. Praise without true analysis

If I posted my work, I would want people to make an honest evaluation of it and why they think as they do. Writers need to grow thick skins if they wish to grow as writers.

My question was quite legitimate, but I get the prevailing wind. It is my fault for thinking, yet again, that a community of writers might really "get together" and give feedback.

Mea culpa.

no photo
Wed 08/14/13 08:17 AM
Edited by KiK2me on Wed 08/14/13 08:49 AM
OH ...it's YOU again
lol
:laughing:

ARS GRATIA ARTIS !
:wink:

no photo
Wed 08/14/13 09:14 AM

Love 3

Your soft silhouette
I trace in the night
Breathing gently and dreaming
Of what I have no sight

I caress your body
You awaken with a moan
We move together
Our love is strong

Making love in unison
We reach the tip
After we separate
Share a kiss on the lips

As I have no other
I deeply love you
Happy to know
You love me too





Way......RAWR......and I would know....rawr stuff..

(((( hippie))))):banana: :heart: smooched drool flowers

pkh's photo
Wed 08/14/13 04:46 PM
Always a pleasure

oldhippie1952's photo
Wed 08/14/13 10:05 PM
Thank you tommyboy, and sanjee, and 2km, and pkh and kik.

Gwen, I thought I made it clear, you can post your honest opinion. The reason I think I'm in a slump is because I was trying to make it rhyme and I should free flow like most of my "poems." Sometimes I think I am my harshest critic.

And thank you again my friends. And you too Gwen.

tommyboy1101's photo
Thu 08/15/13 03:36 AM
Well spoken, ye 'old' hippie, (lol.) Well done! I still don't think Gwen's getting it though.

* Gwen, Gwen,Gwen, my, my, my. Again, might it not be time to find a New forum?? For we here enjoy heaping praise where praise is due. And, as ye can see, based on all the 'followups' we really don't have time to either accept, nor shall we condone your thinking. Take a deep look inside, will we?

Good job, Old. We're with ye as ye can see. You're writing deserves praise for both content, and, originality.

tommy boy

===

oldhippie1952's photo
Thu 08/15/13 03:58 PM
blushing Aww shucks...