I am starting this forum to see people's thoughts. I have asked friends and family and I get all types of answers. So the question in detail is, we have been dating for over a year and we never really fight, get along great and we on both sides have met the family. So he/she goes through your phone and sees that you have been with another man/woman. So what do you do? What constitutes giving that person another chance? Will you ever get over that hurt and be willing to move forward?

A cheat is a cheat...they seldom change their ways. It all depends on the person that was cheated on, what they do about it. It all boils down to trust...can you or can't you trust that person again?

Cheating is natural is not every one can avoid it is only those whom truely beleive in their partner can,cheating is the worst mistake you can ever make. but It all depends on the person that was cheated on, what they do about it. It all boils down to trust. I will give second chance to regain
my trust

Hi. It is my honest opinion that cheating should not be tolerated under no circumstance. It has been said that everyone deserves a second chance, but to me this is an unforgivable one. I have heard over and over that cheating is natural, however its a choice that one choose to make. Someone that wants to be with multiple partners should stay single. A person that will cheat on me has very little regard for the way i feel, Is selfish and disrespectful not to mention betrayed my trust. Why would i consider being with someone who i know for a fact has cheated and knowing that even if i forgive him, somewhere in the back of my mind, im not going to fully trust him which could cause other issues in the relationship. The damage is done. Best to move on. I believe in staying faithful or stay single until one has matured enough to handle commitment.

I'm curious by what you mean that they went through a cell phone to see you were with another person? Like say if you find a picture of your boy/girlfriend with another person at a bar a restaurant or a movie doesn't mean they are having sex. So unless you or someone else has a picture of someone with their dick in someone else, two naked people grabbing each other or something very obvious. They could be friends and could be hanging out and by freaking out you have just over reacted.

I would say that maybe seeing a picture of your boy/girlfriend with someone else might be cause for further investigation unless you consider two people hanging out to be cheating. I would verify cheating first is pretty much what I am saying and once verified I would probably never see that person again. The only way you stay with that person is if you are upfront about it in the beginning and enter into an open relationship. Like friends with benefits.

deny, deny, deny

I remember a comedian say the best way to lie was to stick to your story. Even when he was a kid and was caught not just with his hand in the cookie jar. But one in his hand and one in his mouth. He stuck to his story that he did not take a cookie from the jar. hahaha

Here comes the fighting... if a person is not satisfied in a near " perfect" relationship and they are cheating, kick them to the curb...

Why would them not being satisfied mean they were cheating? I would think it would need a little more than not being satisfied. Like them finding another person, going to clubs, ending up in a bedroom and having sex at some point. At least getting really emotionally connected. Like more than friends.

I'll read what these guys said next but I think your asking the wrong crowd.....oooorr...are you
actually it should be the right crowd and it should be a
landside in favor of going your separate ways as
I'm assuming that most of us are single because
we don't settle.
I just no if it happend to me and stayed together then
I would look at it like an open relationship from then
on and not take the route of trying to trust that person
but just settle to be with that person.look at it from
the second to worst scenario, your sharing & you may end up
with a STI. the worst been you find out years latter that
you were Duked the whole time & posibly getting an
STI and were mentally manipulated the whole time
even when you were sure.

so open it up or get out, I leave for a lot less

{{{Cindi}}}
well your very polite!
.some good answers so far.
and a different perspective from! {{{icky)))

this is called PostPostPost editing..if you didn't know

I do believe in order to PostPostPost edit you have to

PostPost edit, does anybody know for sure?

I've always said it would be over for me because once a sacred trust has been broken how can it ever be believable again.

I've seen so many friends and family go through this and take them back only to never trust them fully again. What kind of a relationship is that?

But I've never been through a thing like that so really can't say what I would do or wouldn't do.

If you give them another chance, I guess you already know what the worst thing that could happen is...so are they worth possibly going through that again. That, only you can say.

Best of luck to you in whatever happens next.

Well, I'm very stubborn, and I put my foot down only when it's really necessary. I wouldn't go peeking through a guy's phone, because if I did, then I might aswell not be in a relationship with him. If the trust isn't there BEFORE any such thing happens, then I'm just pulling at pointless strings. If I found out, well, I'd be out of there like a shot. I don't care how much he wants to justify his cheating. No guy takes me for a ride. lol. Sorry, it's just that I feel saddened at how much it happens. Why is it more possible now than ever? If someone cheats then they never really loved you. As love is so much more than just sleeping with someone. Which some seem to still not understand.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it

I had a teacher who was a judge and he talked about how he had a woman come up to him and ask why they were always letting people go for such serious offenses. When he asked her what she meant she said something to the effect that she sees it all the time on TV. He then as I recall asked her "Do you know how many cases come through my court room and how many people get sentenced?

His point was that she was only seeing a fraction of what was really going on. they few cases where something goes really wrong and someone they don't expect goes free is rare.

Now my point to you is that while reports may or may not show that a lot of people cheat. It may not happen as often as you think it does. People seem to remember the negative more than the positive especially when the negative makes for a juicier story on the news.

I'm not saying cheating is high or low. Just saying it may not be as much as you think.

first are we in a committed relationship? If we have not yet spoken an agreement to be monogamous I would not do anything regarding ending things, but it might give me pause to decide if I want monogamy with that person.

committed or not, I would ask for an explanation of whom the woman is and what her relationship is to him

this, provided I went into his phone in the first place, which I would not do unless he specifically asked me to

and if he did, I would presume he was not trying to hide anything

if the woman was another woman he would have to choose

even if we were not yet in a commitment. I'm fussy like that, but we would definitely talk it out like adults

I assumed a phone convo was discovered by accident when using the phone or checking the time...whatever. When I'm dating someone it always seems like we just use each others phones when one of us has a low battery, so it wouldn't be odd for him to see the last message I sent someone if he picked it up.

Otherwise, I have to agree with many here that if the person in this scenario is monitoring their sig other's phone or using it without a previous understanding that they are free to do so whenever, then there were already trust issues in this relationship.

right

hey I'm prepaid on minutes

use my minutes and I'll pull out a chest hair for each one...lol

You don't scare me Sweet. I had that strange little hair removed years ago.

lol

I was thinking more about MALE chest hair

Gues if there is any chance of us meeting I'll start shaving my chest. hahaha