Okay, my daughter informed me that her mom was getting married tomorrow. She just found out Monday.

Do I confront her? I figure it's none of my buisness, but my 2 girls are involved. The oldest said she is okay with it. My youngest is mad.

Should I do anything? I have met him briefly several times, never really talked to him. He seems okay. He's got 2 kids also. I of his children dosen't know yet about their marrage.

What does one do in this case?? Any suggestions?

Have a beer??

i don't think it's in your best interst to confront the ex about it but i would definitely talk to the kids about it. you mentioned that one of your kids is mad about it.

Yes, I talked to them. I won't have them again til next weekend. Guess I'll just have to feel them out then. I really don't want to cause any trouble. The X and I have a good relationship, although I thought she would atleast call me and tell me about it. I mean, really, no love can be lost there again!!

Thanks for the reply king!

sit down with your kids and have a heart to heart with them about it and let them vent if they need to and answer questions if you can and if it is upsetting the youngest to much then tell ex to talk to the youngest.

Awwwwwwwwww Mike all you can do is to be there like you always are for your kids,, your love for them is overwhelming and thru your love they will both be able to handle all that is ahead of them,, and when they cant they know exacttly who to come to,,, Your a great dad sweetie,,,

Hey Nerves, sorry man for how your mind is remembering now the good times, but its just where the heart once felt her's.
As to the wedding, Your kids have all the right in the world to tell her anything that THEY feel right now, and shame on her for telling them so late. I could see why one of your daughters might be a little upsit,,hey, how old are they again I forgot,,im thinking about 14 and 16, but its been awhile since we talked...
Nothing much to do but show you daughters your above your ex causing YOU any pain with her life now,,,but I do know THIS time your having NOW, as I have been here...
And a beer is cool,,lol

you should talk to ur kids. and ur ex should had infmored her self. this has ur kid involed.

Yes talk with your kids again its almost like my older sister an her ex husband he has a new gf now and bought a house an all an three girls oldest being 18 almost off to college don't want anything to do with him the 16yr old is in the middle an the little one 7 is little mad its hard to do with when kids are involved but its always good to talk with them when you can make sure they are ok

I assure you I do talk to them anytime. I also see them anytime. That is one thing we DO agree on!!

As for the X getting remarried, I hope she has found happiness and the same for him. I would be a liar if I said it didn't bother me a little. I mean after all, 17 years is a long time. But after 3 years, I have moved on and she should too.

I will say if I had priamary custody, I would have let her know I was getting married. Just a sensible curtosy. But what do I know!!

Nothing you can do about what her decisions are just be there for your own kids if needed.

(((((((((Mike))))))))))
Give them a call... maybe if their going away the kids would want to do something with you..
That's not kewl that she didn't give them more notice & make sure they know they can talk to you about ANYTHING! that is a man moving in with them & his kids, you always have to make sure they know that no matter what they can talk to you..

keep your kewl
be there for the kids
do your best to be happy and others around you

gah, i doubt i'd tell my ex if i were to re-marry.

but then again, he's not involved with the kids...so he doesn't really have a right to an opinion.

of course, if my KIDS didn't want me marrying...then i certainly wouldn't.

U figured right. That is NONE of your business. Neither is it the kids. U think U or the kids mother could tell the kids what to do when they are ready to marry or mate? Then they will say that U are intefering in their private life. They just born yesterday and want to dictate to their mother or even give an opinion on what She must do? That is her private life. U better stay out of it!! When did U adopt her as U child?
The children have to be told: "This is what I am doing. Full stop. Fall in line!" That is what they will tell you when their turn reach. Don't U know that?

Except that she should have given more notice but suppose it is a shotgun wedding? She gives the notice when she had the plan. This is where she doesn't have to give account to noboby. When the children reaches her age and gets a chance to go thru the same thing, THEN THEY WILL KNOW HOW THE SITUATION IS THAT PREVENTED THEIR MOTHER FROM GIVING MORE NOTICE.

The children will have to live all HER years for THEM to understand what their mother is doing. In other words, a course in understanding this matter is not a: "Sit down for a hour or two and let me talk to you about your mother's wedding>"

That course will last the age of their mother or whatever age their mother is.

Its not your bizzzzz.......she should have told the girls sooner but .........**** happens.

ive never been married, although ive been in two relationships that lasted over two years
( doesnt sound too serious but when you dont work (teenagers) and you spend every possible minute of every day together it is alot )

i keep in touch with the "one that got away", ( was 10000% my fault it ended )
and shes told me shes happy with some guy, ( been with him over a year now, live with him ). At the end of our conversations ( once every few months ) i tell her the same thing, im sorry, i love you (not like that), and im very happy that you are happy.

Dude i dont need to be married to know this, it doesnt matter what you say, what arguement you present, what feelings you have, all your going to do by saying something is distance yourself from her, possibly your kids ( dunno situation) and end up looking like an a-hole in the process.

Take a page out of bruce willis's book, he was best man ( or atleast part of cant remember ) demi moore's weddings to ashton kutcher ( his ex wife, mother of his kids marrying a guy half her age )

just do the smart thing, say im happy for you, best of luck, bye.

anything more is a mistake, trust me.

i replied before reading more of the thread about the kids.

i was in that situation my parents divorced when i was born, sad i know.

so i never had a problems with who they dated/married ( well with my dads wives, but he will admit they were bad people )

so about the kids, if i were you id ask them why they have a problem, if its a real concern, the guys mean to them, or they are in some way either afraid or him or w.e.
Then you should talk to her about it (nicely) but im assuming this is a more recent divorce and the one child is angry simply because she is re-marrying.

in that case you should help her understand that shes going to see other people, and as long as shes happy and the kids arent mis-treated they should be happy too.

But yeah, she should have talked to them about it first, understood how they felt, and either made them understand, or if there was a legitimate issue, solved it out prior.