Im pondering something and IM interested in advise if anyone has any experience....

so, my daughters father and I were married in 2004 in the UK.
HE never made it to the US except to visit a few times
WE have lived on separate continents, with the exception of the first year when I lived there


in 2009 after returning from 'visiting' with him he decided to not be a part of this family anymore although he occasionally sends an email or sends our daughter gifts on holidays or birthdays,,,


my question is this,, since we have never pursued a divorce,,,
if and when he passes (he is an older man who constantly claims to be on his deathbed, don't believe him, but one day it may be true)....


do I have the legal obligation here in the states to travel to the UK and attend to his affairs?


Do I have some obligation towards his funeral expenses?


I wont know of his passing unless his family somehow notifies me,,,,should I just offer my condolensces or is that too detached?

why don't you get a divorce, then you won't have to worry about the 'legalities' of the situation.

he likes to move around, he says he wouldn't be cooperative with a divorce,,,

its not easy or cheap to divorce intercontinentally,,,,

How does his immediate family feel? Look in the mirror and follow your heart.

that sux

he doesn't really have much family and doesn't really stay in contact with those he has

I don't really know them ,just met them once or twice (they don't live here either) I have only received their emails on our daughters birthdays and Christmas,,,

anyway, thanx for the advice

Have you spoken with an attorney? It may be easier or cheaper than you think... and I don't see how his liking to "move around" should make him not want to cooperate with a divorce. Seriously, if he doesn't want to be with you and he doesn't want to divorce you, it sounds like on some level he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He needs to grow up... and please don't let HIM run this show. You deserve your freedom.

ty via

its the emotional manipulation that in part lead to us not working out,,,,,

but its the being on separate continents that makes the legalities confusing,,,,

I may just file on grounds of abandonment?

,,,after all, we never really have Lived together in the states and he hasn't set foot across the borders since spring of 08...

I think you definitely have grounds with abandonment. And it really shouldn't be that much more difficult with two countries involved.

Check with an attorney who knows how to handle international divorce cases (some Googling should help). You can probably get an initial consultation for free. No one should be permitted to manipulate someone else emotionally or otherwise, and based on what you've said here, it sounds like you'll be much better off being able to just wash your hands of him.

Best of luck to you!

take out a hefty insurance policy on him

Easy solution to this problem.
Send someone to track him down and trick him into coming back to the U.S.
From there once he's in the states you spring the cookie trap and kidnap him.
File the Divorce.
Make him sign whatever documents or appear in court.
Then set him free again when the divorce is finalized.



Just remember to keep feeding him lots of cookies and Mountain Dew so he doesn't starve.

its an idea that hadn't crossed my mind but its BRILLIANT,,,,,lol

Nothing we say really matters because you married
in the UK and tis only their laws which will
count in this sitch.

You need to know what they are.

yeah, that's what makes it complicated

our marriage is recognized in the states, and as a resident in Nevada I am eligible to file here under Nevada laws,, because he will never file himself in the UK


BUT , the jurisdictional issues, as far as community property and custody,,etc,,etc,,,,,, will be kind of difficult to apply,,,,

As his wife you may also be responsible for his debts

Im not too worried about that, he is in the uk, most of what he had was included in residency,,,lol

no educational bills and he didn't have any credit cards to speak of,,,his debt will die with him,,,,unless some unique circumstance of someone tipping the debtors off,, since Im not actually listed anywhere on his bills or his residency,,,

Thats not too detatched, he holds no significance in your life, and legally married or not. Only difference
than my history is we didnt have children. We ( you & i ) both may be divorced and not know it,how dare they!..lol. Its all about your daughters rights but having said that, in this situation they're moral rights & not
legal rights. and as far as her going to the funeral, sometimes the aggravaters heavily unbalance the mitigaters making this infeasible, as my dad and uncle made a trip to see their ill beloved dad in the
early 80s recession and made a decision at the time with their siblings that this would be their goodbye.

That would not be inforced unless she was a citizen where the order was out of, and living there

Exactly!

Its got nothing to do with international, just the marrage law in that state, province, Country!
likely its going to be the same as I know it to be in some state's & provinces, If one doesn't agree or can't be found then file and it will finalize in 1 year from file date.

We got married in British Columbia Canada and I signed a dissolvement of marriage in Alaska
but she didn't file for a few more years then she filed in Wa state but they wouldn't recognize the Ak
Documents.
so I did a notarized affidavit and she said the judge was still not wanting to except it so
wost case scenario, she's just waited out the year, and i assume thats what happend.
Its is cool when woman ask me if I'm married, because I get to say IDN. it adds to the mystique