I've been online dating for a while now, and I've started to notice a trend with a lot of the men who have contacted me. By way of background, I just ended a three month relationship with a man whom I met online because he did not want to be exclusive. He claimed that he didn't want to date other people but he was hurt several times in the past by cheating girlfriends and didn't want me to go through the hurt again. For my part, I realize I’m at fault for waiting three months before asking for some type of commitment.

Hindsight has pointed out that on his profile he listed he wanted a “casual relationship” as opposite to my listing of wanting a “serious relationship”. So now I’m back on the online dating scene and I’m paying better attention to what guys are saying they are looking for in their profile. Several guys put in their profile that they are looking for “friends” only, one guy even put that he’s too busy for a relationship right now.

Is this a case of semantics? Are these guys really just wanting to take it slow and be friends first? If they are really just looking for friends, why don’t they go on a free site like MySpace, Facebook, or Friendster? If it’s just a clever way to find booty calls, why don’t they go on Adult friend finder or Craigslist? If I want a bonafide relationship, should I just ignore these men when they contact me? Has looking for a relationship on a dating website become taboo?

*is soooooo confuzzled*

Im here on site looking for a serious relationship,who there?can comfort me?:-)

hi everyone
people think it's hard to find love on a dating site, since the majority of time we fall in love people away from us, and the question we must ask is, "is what we can keep and live in a remote relationship?"

I think each site has its own list of options whether its called a 'dating' site or a social networking site

and people choose the options that fit what they are interested in

this site has a friends option, and so those interested in friends can say so,,,

This is how i approach any so called dating site...Most of the people are scam artists,liars and bots..Remember that! Also, you cant find "love" on a dating site,but you can find people. How can you fall in love with someone you never met? But anything can happen once you "meet" that person...

I think I am in the opposite boat...I just got out of a ten year relationship so the LAST thing I am looking for is something serious...that doesn't mean I don't want human interaction, I just need my independence so fiercely right now. I think that probably a lot of guys might be in this same state of mind because of bad experiences with needy, clingy girlfriends...mine was a needy, clingy husband. It's extremely exhausting.

I have only ever dated three women through online dating and they all were very different, in different circumstances. The strange thing was they did not want love. One loved herself beyound belief and wanted to make out in public all the time. Another just wanted somebody to talk to on the phone and the other just wanted sex all the time and no talk of longterm commitments.

Women online don't know what they want.

In my personal opinion . Dating is dating . But you must have the guts to ask the hard questions in the begging . Why waste your time & life on someone that isn't ready or is just out to play . It's your life so hit hard and stand strong .

You right tbone
Ppl just have stand srong
That's I don't believe any thing ppl say cause some how women on here act like they don't play games but they do

I guess I'm an oddity than.., because "I am looking only to make love, when I have found love"...

Hi card i m here i m naeem mughal from pakistan r u marry me

Maybe he was secretly worried he would hurt you. Some people have been so hurt in the past, that they are capable of physically harming their next lover.

I'm can't even get lucky enough to get laid let alone for someone for a fulfilling relationship lol

Is this a case of semantics? Are these guys really just wanting to take it slow and be friends first? If they are really just looking for friends, why don’t they go on a free site like MySpace, Facebook, or Friendster? If it’s just a clever way to find booty calls, why don’t they go on Adult friend finder or Craigslist? If I want a bonafide relationship, should I just ignore these men when they contact me? Has looking for a relationship on a dating website become taboo?
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You've answered your own query. You say serious relationship...they say casual relationship. Ive learned throughout my online dating experience that when a person "man" or "woman" tell you what they want upfront don't try to " change" them. Dating is not hard to manuever..... we just hear what we want and that causes the conflict.