i've been doing a little thinking about relationships, and i've decided that there are 4 fundamental relationship types.

functional: you don't necessarily have chemistry with this person, but they serve a purpose for you - financial security, popularity, good looks, power, fame, sex appeal, or the ability impress your friends.

chemistry: this is based purely on feelings. there's an unexplainable attraction between you and the other person. they may not be the most stable emotionally, financially, physically, or whatever, but you get along well with them, and that's what matters. usually involves people who are very similar.

complimenting: this is based on two people who are polar opposites but still get along, each person's strengths filling in for each other's weaknesses. there tends to be a lot of fights and misunderstandings behind closed doors, but these kinds of relationships can accomplish some amazing things if they work together.

pity/settling: usually one person in this settles into a relationship they're not happy in, and the other person feels unworthy and takes it out aggressively. often ends up in abusive relationships in one direction or the other (e.g. boyfriend beats girlfriend, girlfriend whips boyfriend). often, the submissive person just doesn't know what to do with his/her life and wants someone in control of it, and the dominant one is abusive to maintain control in the relationship so the other doesn't leave.



this stuff fascinates me. this all came off the top of my head based on observations i've made. do you agree/disagree? what are your thoughts? which of these (or combinations) are you looking for? which approaches do you not want your mate to be going after? are there others i didn't think of?

Thats pretty good...
I am sure there are a lot more types.

I don't discriminate. I'm equal opportunity when it comes to relationship types.

girl!!! did you just her what you said !!???


so you do ladies ?
and children ?

get my point?


be careful what you say out loud...

bl8ant.

It was a joke. You need more sun in your pic!

Give me chemistry anyday.

will this do??

I definitely agree with blonderockermom.. Chemistry.. ANY DAY!

I've dated many people over the last year but there is one person I can't help but keep going back to. He's awesome and the thing is - we don't even know that much about each other. We met at work and he asked me to hang out.. I love his company and he says I can bring happiness like no one else.

It works. We don't need to know all the details or even talk to each other every day.. it's simple.

And for the most part - summing up relationships I believe you are right. I can't think of another major type off the top of my head but you make very good points with this!

I don't think anyone wants a pity/settling or functional (for the most part). Everyone wants that love that kicks you right in the butt.

“The experience of love is the same, what changes are our preferences.” You are talking about a couple getting together, right? Cause I have a lot of different types of relationships... I guess my boss could fall under functional cause she does provide me with financial security!

karen, you make a good point that this doesn't really just apply to sexual relationships like i originally thought.

i've found chemistry to be the most stable, as people tend not to really mind the other person's faults if they have them too. the downside here is that you can get blindsided if you don't logically think about it and make sure they're right for you. it's easy to get caught up in a good feeling.

it seems most people say they want a functional relationship. it's the most traditional "find a man with a good job who can support you" and "find a woman who is hot and will take care of the kids while you're at work" kinda deal.

complimenting relationship is just basically a platonic one right?

i wouldn't limit complimenting to platonic relationships. generally they are attracted like opposite poles of a magnet.

i'd say, complimenting kinda falls between chemistry and functional, with a little of both. i've found that functional tends to be based on what society tells you to do, while chemistry is based on your own needs and desires. complimenting has the functional feeling to it, but is based on personal attraction.

one person could be very motivated and meticulous with details, with a great memory but lacking creativity. on the other hand, the other could be a very creative big picture person with great ideas that is very forgetful and unmotivated without help. one could be an adventurous risk taker that is a lot of fun, while the other brings the relationship back to earth with a strong sense of safety and security, making sure nothing stupid happens.

I don't have patience for all that. I just leave to friendship if that's the case

your complimenting relationships can also be your most explosive(in a good way and a bad way). i wouldn't consider them platonic at all. i don't think that relationship types(or anything)can be placed into categories. there are many,many different types and chemistry can belong to everyone of them. i love it when i have chemistry with someone but i have to be able to respect who they are as a person or it will never be anything but sex.

sex based relationhips and mind based relationships

<--- celibate

yeah, sex based tends to be functional. they're service a purpose for you. lust rather than love, it still keeps you together with em and creates a longer lasting relationship than one interaction.

and i agree kingbreeze that there are tons of different combinations of these. i like to look at the big picture here and figure out what i'm getting myself into as i look at a woman. what are her strengths, and my goals if i was to be with her? what are her goals and motivations for being with me? are they compatible, or could they backfire? for instance, if one person thinks it's chemistry and the other thinks it's functional, then we've got a heartbreak just waiting to happen. similarly, is she someone looking for a pity/control relationship? it's nowhere near perfect, but it's a start.

sex based is usually referred to as casual relationships right?

I wouldn't waste my time with those

i would think so bored chick....ain't really a relationship in my book.

lol I agree kingbreeze