Topic: More than a fling?
no photo
Wed 06/12/13 11:47 PM
Well here is the deal. Hopefully someone can help me on this. I am 40 years old but I have been told I do not look my age at all. I been told this by both male and female. I do take that has a compliment the problem is-I can't land a date with guys my age. I routinely get approached by men where I am 10 plus their senior. I am flattered but at this age in my life I am looking for stability in all areas of my life. I am a black female with children who presents herself as an equal opportunity dater. In other words I don't discriminate. If there is an equal physical attraction, I typically move forward. Here is the situation, I am very attracted to this very attracted caucasion guy at work (we work in different departments) who stands about 6'8 and absolutely drives me insane when I'm in his presence. His actions say that he is attracted to me as well. The problem is, I just recently learned that he is only 27 and has no children. I am reluctant to proceed or even hint in the slightest that I am attracted to him but I am. Is there a chance that this could be more than a fling or should I just walk away.

ridewytepony's photo
Thu 06/13/13 12:16 AM
Edited by ridewytepony on Thu 06/13/13 12:19 AM
Sure there's a good chance but you need to find out more about him? Is he just a player? Does he
have a girl? he propably just wants to do you! my x wife was 4 1/2 years older than me and I was 32 when
We got together, when I just starting my 30s then three short years latter and she was turning 40!
It felt like I tunned 40 and it did bother me.
Thats it for nowasleep
I

no photo
Thu 06/13/13 12:40 AM
Thank you for your response that thought certainly crossed my mind as well. Im definitely not looking to be screwed by anyone. Im not exactly sure how to proceed with getting to know him because I've never been one to pursue anyone and I think he is kinda of shy too.

Dodo_David's photo
Thu 06/13/13 06:16 PM

Well here is the deal. Hopefully someone can help me on this. I am 40 years old but I have been told I do not look my age at all. I been told this by both male and female. I do take that has a compliment the problem is-I can't land a date with guys my age. I routinely get approached by men where I am 10 plus their senior. I am flattered but at this age in my life I am looking for stability in all areas of my life. I am a black female with children who presents herself as an equal opportunity dater. In other words I don't discriminate. If there is an equal physical attraction, I typically move forward. Here is the situation, I am very attracted to this very attracted caucasion guy at work (we work in different departments) who stands about 6'8 and absolutely drives me insane when I'm in his presence. His actions say that he is attracted to me as well. The problem is, I just recently learned that he is only 27 and has no children. I am reluctant to proceed or even hint in the slightest that I am attracted to him but I am. Is there a chance that this could be more than a fling or should I just walk away.




gretarhu, how about a totally different option? Forget the young guy at work, and go for a Melmacian. It just so happens that there is an available male Melmacian who lives in Tulsa County, and he is a few years older than you. bigsmile

goldenhinde's photo
Thu 06/13/13 06:23 PM
speaking from experience(not regarding age difference, just co-worker involvement) don't initiate or accept anything if it is just physical.

Unless, you are highly qualified in a position that is in demand. It is too difficult to find a good job-as difficult as finding a good man/woman.

Have a fling and get it out of your system, just have it with someone you do not work with.

that is jmo.

soufiehere's photo
Thu 06/13/13 06:59 PM
'Nothing ventured, nothing gained.'

Goofball73's photo
Thu 06/13/13 07:30 PM
Honestly.....I see nothing but potential fling. However, you never know unless you risk it.

no photo
Thu 06/13/13 07:40 PM
Edited by sweetestgirl11 on Thu 06/13/13 07:40 PM

Honestly.....I see nothing but potential fling. However, you never know unless you risk it.


right - be careful not to turn it into something it isn't as the fantasy becomes larger in your mind. A man, at any age, will do just about anything necessary to ask you out if he is really interested.

Chances are he has a girlfriend his own age and it is just a casual work place flirtation

and be extra careful because you are at work

ridewytepony's photo
Thu 06/13/13 11:01 PM

Thank you for your response that thought certainly crossed my mind as well. Im definitely not looking to be screwed by anyone. Im not exactly sure how to proceed with getting to know him because I've never been one to pursue anyone and I think he is kinda of shy too.


Then its not likely to happen, its like me,I'm not great with shy people, it just seems forced.
my last girlfriend was quite, & we both had that instant attraction but I'm not sure we would have
ever got together without alcohol.
I find that hard to believe that men dismiss you at 40 years old because you look young??? I dont get that
Its something else, maybee your clothes and style isn't age appropriate for these crowds? Just a guess
would make more sense. flowerforyou