Hello Amazing Men,

I am curious about some things. I was having a conversation with a few girlfriends and I really need a man's perspective to set the record straight. (don't worry ladies, I have questions for you too under another post).


1. What makes a woman irresistible? If you've just met, what is it about them that has you coming back for more? If you are in a relationship, what can they do to foster that irresistibility that keeps you coming back?


2. When do you feel your most manly/sexy/desired around a woman? What does she do to kill that sense of manliness?


3. What do you really think about people-pleasing women?


4. What are the qualities of your dream woman?

ArtGurl


1. Not sure if there's such a thing as irresistible for me... I'm drawn to ladies that share my sense of humor. So if she laughs at my jokes, I'll keep coming back

2. When I've accomplished something I've set out to do, Seeing it to the end. I may be wrong, but I assume finishing a project is equally rewarding to someone who loves you. She'll kill it if she competes against me lol

3. I love it... As long as there's no ulterior motives, major boner!

4. Funny, grounded and can express herself calmly... someone everyone likes and will go out of her way to help if she can. Spiritual and not gullible... A woman of the world who understands her individual carbon footprints impact on others and passionate about Fauna/Flora. I'm not drawn to the go get um, hardball businesswoman types. I think I found her

1. Intelligence and funny.

2. I feel like a man all the time. It makes me feel good when she gives me little tastes of affection no matter where we are. After all I've been through, a woman cannot kill my feeling of manliness.

3. They are alright, but sometimes I don't think they should.

4. Non smoker/drinker/tattoos/piercings. Doesn't care to wear make-up or jewelry, a natural woman secure in herself. Intelligence with humor, likes to read, go for walks, nature, movies, comedy clubs, theater, amusement parks, go karts, Dallas Cowboys, travel, and plain old interesting stuff. And on top of this, I have to be attracted to her. Oh, no cussing either, religious but not a fanatic.

1. Sexual attraction can make a woman irresistible to a man. It can fade (probably does so more often) but for a while that sexual attraction is addicting. I am thinking you want to know what is it about a woman that makes a man want only her for so much more. In this respect I can honestly answer (and this is my belief) that guys really don't have a clue. You see, when a man completely falls for a woman he is going to have that "moment" where he realizes this one particular woman is different from all other women. Example: I remember this first date I had with this amazing woman. I never expected that an hour meet would turn into a six hour date. At the end of the night and as we were hugging one another, she held tight and said, "This feels right". I knew what she meant cause I felt it too. I can't give a word to describe what happened. All I knew was that something was special with her and that she and I somehow fit together. Things like humor, goofiness, sexuality and all the traits we normally look for were there. But there was also that "it" thing. The very thing that made her irresistible to me. To me this is the one thing that makes a man go back for a woman and it is the thing that will keep a man with her. On a side note.....cooking naked will also make her irresistible. Just a side note.

2. I feel "manly" when she makes me wash dishes. Okay....all a woman needs to do to make sure her man feels manly is to allow his ego to shine every now and then. It really is that simple. Ladies....let us dudes have our ego moments and we will love you long time. Don't make us ask for directions when we are clearly lost. Don't butcher our cooking skills when we cook things differently than you. Don't inform us that our penis isn't as HUGE as WE know it is. I'm just saying....let us dudes have our ego moments. How can she make me feel sexy? I always fine that if she touches my body (just light touches) in a certain way that it shows how sexy she finds me. Bragging to her friends that she has a "hot" man also helps. And then there are those moments when she just grabs me, throws me against the wall and takes advantage of me. How can she kill the manliness? Take me purse shopping? Seriously.....belittling me. That's really all there is. Guys don't want a woman who will belittle them. I could write a thesis on this, so I will just say that any kind of belittling (small to large) really is a no-no.

3.I don't want a people-pleasing woman....unless that is in her nature to do. I don't want her bowing to my every demand. I want a straight up good woman who rocks in the sack and can kick my azz when need be. Also, she needs to be a bit of a biatch at times too. I know I will have my male PMS moments so if she has to deal with that then I will deal with hers.

4.Hmmmmmm. Adventurous, sexy (to me), humorous, intelligent, cranky, silly, humble, passionate, loving, caring, nerdish.....you know.....I want all this wrapped in the body of Charlize Theron.

Phewww i almost said something stupid here...
Good thing i stopped myself

a good attitude, loves life, never talking down to/about anyone

when she's into me

bytches, complains, generally not happy

the best

truthfulness, not scared to say whats on her mind, still likes to be with me even when i'm at my worst, well kept, and there should never be a doubt about what shes telling me...

1. Happiness is sexy.

2. Leading physically, and in general taking the lead in every interaction with a woman.

3. It isn't necessary.

4. A purposeful life.

1. This might sound vain but a man finds a woman who is out of his league irresistable when she leads him to believe she is interested in him. it is a combination of knowing she might be into him but really not letting him know for certain.
In a relationship, I feel the word "irresistable" is kind of obsolete.

I believe irresistable is a pre-relationship, unsure state of mind. somewhere along the lines of elementary school or middle school when you develop a "crush" on someone. similar in that regard. i feel in a relationship the term "irresistable" is naturaly, escalated to "being in love". when you are in love, it's a mutual feeling that has evolved and i cannot really explain it but it is a chemistry that requires two people to feel the same way. a mutual feeling of knowing you are both secure and love one another and that no one else can ever take that away from one another.



** i have to get ready for work now. i just couldn't resist starting a reply, lol. i will add answers to questions 2, 3, and 4 when i get home...

1) Her Charm, grace
2) (see goof's answer)
3)If it's not genuine, it shows. Being phony is not attractive.
4)Intelligent, resourceful, loving, sense of humor, attractive (to me), takes care of herself, but not a fitness freak.

There is no such woman as an irresistible woman. However, if a woman wants to appear attractive, then she should smile and maintain a cheerful composure.




If a woman embraces me, then the former happens.If she criticizes me in front of others, then the latter happens.


They have a problem with self-esteem.




For me personally, she will be a Christian, someone who wants to please God instead of people.

(1) Men are rough around the edges, at least real men are. We enjoy the opposite of ourselves in a woman. A woman who is sweet, Does not seek to always get in the last word and places a soft touch on a man's rough exterior is a blessing. That will keep a man coming back just as often as he can. Support in a man's beliefs and ideas is also important. If you don't like or stand for what a man believes you truly should seek a new one.

(2) A man feels his prime of manliness, and feels most desired. When a woman submits to him. I don't mean she becomes his slave or anything like that. Simple things like when I grab a woman by the waist and pull her to me, She gives a little gasp and says "You can do whatever you want to me, I'm yours " That's just hot!

(3) People pleasing women are a huge turnoff, Not just for myself, But most of the men I know as well. Men are not about pleasing everyone. Unless maybe you're the pastor of a church. Even then there are limits. A turn on to a man is a woman that pleases him, Stands by his decisions and her family. Not a bunch of friends or strangers. Whom are mostly hanging around to mooch off your free food and drinks should you throw a party. Then criticize your decorative arrangements.

(4) My dream woman would match what ive written above, Would like the outdoors and family activities. Wouldn't worry about what other people think of her and I. Most important of all would believe in me, and stick by my decisions in tough times.

1. What makes a woman irresistible? If you've just met, what is it about them that has you coming back for more? If you are in a relationship, what can they do to foster that irresistibility that keeps you coming back?

her smile, her ability to laugh, her demonstration that she wants to be with you

2. When do you feel your most manly/sexy/desired around a woman? What does she do to kill that sense of manliness?

During a change in the timing of the day/weather, for example- early morning just before dawn, evening when dusk begins to settle; when it starts to rain or getting snowed in. Being a ***** makes me shrink more than jumping into an icy pool.

3. What do you really think about people-pleasing women?

I don't think I ever met one, or if I did, it was clear that they had an agenda and that turned me off.

4. What are the qualities of your dream woman?

They are each so different, I could not or would not make a list of qualities, outside of those needed to get in the door: can hold a job, no major mental illness or addictive behaviours, are generally happy and active.

2. most manly is when the woman is not submissive but wants me to take charge. most sexy is when she takes charge and becomes very aggresive. most desired when all she does is smile and cant stop loooking at me.

she kills the senses when she is either too passive/submissive or too controling mentaly.

3. i dont understand the question people pleasing woman. i think everyone should be pleased. everyone should have someone that makes them feel appreciated. it is our natural instinct as humans to want to feel loved. because feeling loved, is feeling valued.

4. i cant have a dream woman. it would be like asking me what my favorite food is and than asking me if i could only eat that one type of food every single meal. lol. im human! there is a quote that i really like and it goes,

"when your single, your lonely. when your married, your bored"

im just a realist :P

Thank you wonderful men for your responses

d4tc, TBR, DD, Burgundy, Moe, Goof, Hippy, John - lovely to see you all again

Prints & extreme - nice to 'virtually' meet you -

I am loving your insights.

I've always believed the most irresistible thing about anyone is their ability to be at ease with themselves. Confidence is a part of that but it is more than that. Would you agree?

I also think that a woman's primary need in a relationship is to feel safe and a man's is to be respected. I don't mean that women don't value respect, we do ... just not first.

And ... as Goofball pointed out about belittling killing attraction ... to me that would be a form of disrespect challenging a fundamental need.

What are your thoughts?


I see a lot of women calling their beautiful manly men baby names ... snookums, baby cakes etc... I always call my guy sexy or lover. I want him to know that I value his manliness and that I desire him and that I think of him as a lover first. Does it make a difference what your woman calls you - in terms of attraction, desire, feeling yummy or feeling manly?


In my experience, people pleasing women turn themselves inside out to make other people happy while subjugating their own needs. It is typically a self esteem thing. There is a difference between pleasing your partner or others because it is your desire to do so and doing because you derive your self worth from it.

Extreme - I love what you wrote in #1. In my experience most career women function from a more masculine place. But when they bring that home it is competition in the house. This culture seems to revere the masculine traits while devaluing the feminine ones particularly in business. Part of what I teach women to own their femininity - there is great power and potency in it as there is for men who can sit in their masculinity.

One is not better than the other. And we all possess the both masculine and feminine. I think that a woman who can sit in her femininity gives space for the man to sit fully in his masculine and creates a very harmonious and strong energy in the home. And it allows us to function very differently...and complementary... in business.

I see three kinds of women...the first wants you to take care of her...the second wants to prove she can do everything herself ... and the third knows she can do it herself but is open and receptive to you.

And the men I see typically just want a woman to receive them - they want to know that aren't going to be rejected, they want to know that their partner will receive their contribution and help, and they want to know that they can please their woman.

Would you agree?


Did I mention you guys are awesome? Thanks so much for your very thoughtful responses.

Spot on ArtGirl!







A huge difference! My sister is a people pleasing woman and I must say, she doesn't seem as though she has a problem with self-esteem or self worth. Brings her joy to see the results of her helpful actions... and it's contagious because all her friends are people pleasers too!

If I answer them all with Boobies will I get spanked? Please?

Thanks John



Mikey!!!!!!! Don't you know? My cup already runneth over with Boobies! You are looking for any opportunity to get spanked!


C'mon Mikey ... what made a woman irresistible to you? The way she smiled? The way she made you feel desired? The way she cut the crusts off your bologna sandwich?

You would need to ask my woman.

She is the ultimate lady....plus...she puts up with me. She is amazing.

ok so this may sound wierd coming from a man but i personally love the eyes an the smile in combination then the walk that goes with it drives me nuts. an women who have a little jiggle with there walk they cant help but have not the fake jiggles.
second not preaching at you the minute they meet you about sex or marriage but taking time to learn who you are as a person before committing to a relationship.
third if in here or online withing 50 miles

1. Beer. lots and lots of beer.

2. Just after I've had lots and lots of beer.

3. If it pleases her to bring me more beer I'm happy.

4. Someone who can carry a case of beer back from the beer depot and not whine about it.