What forum was this on?

Most of you have taken my post entirely out of context it was not my intention to attack women if you have taken it this way, then my apologies to all of you I was only trying to gain some insight.

Are you confusing some women with just being motherly, for being controlling? There's a bit of difference between the two. Being motherly, would mean making sure he was okay, not pandering to his every need, not taking over his chores, not getting involved in his business all the time. Being controlling, well, I doubt I even have to explain that. As many of us already know the signs. I certainly never felt like taking over his life or his home. As I've never been a bossy type. Just tell her upfront that if you want help, you'll ask for it. Otherwise you could make it clear you want to be independent and not have her do those things, as you want to do them.

Humm maybe you were taken wrong... I have never been one to control anyone and would not stay with anyone that felt the need to control me...

There is a difference in one that controls others and one that just does things cause they care about them.....

What would you call then buying and picking out his clothes, controlling eating habits to point where the man has to start hiding the things he likes to eat and lets also address why we men always have to do things the woman's way like we don't get an opinion, basically I believe most men start out as being more helpful but after a constant barrage of being told it wasn't her way or we do things the wrong way we finally just throw in the towel and give up, just go into any local store or supermarket and observe couples who appear to have been together a long time.

Notice how the man always hangs back from the woman with head down a defeated look to him, I see this all the time seen it with my own parents even. we just give up and want peace.

Some do maybe but so do some men. It's just that a man is less likely to be that bothered about his girlfriend being a lazy slob but there are also women that are lazy slobs.

Here's a question for you though. Do you feel that women are controlling in relationships because they are demanding and that they expect things like you wanting to take them out and to be spontanious and romantic? Is it that women are "high maintenance" in that way and men want other things from a relationship? Do you think maybe that you just expect women to want the same things from a relationship as you do and anything else is down to them being controlling and trying to change you?

Have you noticed no male input, u know why that is they know exactly what I am talking about.

That's controlling, but most women DON'T do that. Why suggest that just because one woman or some women do that, it means we ALL do it? I've known abusive men who hit women... does that mean I should go around accusing ALL men of doing so?


When I observe couples who've been together for a long time, that isn't what I see.


I don't know where you shop, but I almost NEVER see this.

I guess men and women just see things with a different perspective, well I guess that is why we our opposites, and I wouldn't have any other way, women keep life interesting again my apologies if I have offended anyone have to feed the cat and go to the grocery store now (where I will by anything I want to eat) Peace

You may not be aware of it but a lot of men really don't enjoy being dragged around shops. That's a pretty well known fact.

Hell, TS... I don't enjoy being dragged around shops myself.

But if a couple go to, say, buy groceries together, I don't see what Miko is describing. I don't see it most other places where I see couples shopping together, either.

When my ex-husband and I used to go run errands like that together, we tended to treat it like a mission -- get in, get what was needed, and get out again as quickly as possible while spending as little as was necessary. (Eventually we just began taking turns at grocery shopping, since we each were about equally good at it.)

Not all women enjoy shopping, LOL.

I agree!

in the particular situation you describe it sounds like the man who is not "owning " his actions because he claims to be acting a certain way in response to a woman he is partnered with.

Letting a woman boss you around or "smother" only results in her losing respect for you.

yes I would agree that if u see this behavior over and over it is a good idea to do some self examiniation and figure out some ways (possibly with daily psychological counsleing) to avoid such women

there are plenty of women out there who are nothing like you describe, and it may be a good idea to take some time out from dating/relationships till you have had a chance to overcome your generalizations and gender biased thinking.


At this point in time I know I certainly would not want to date a man who made the statements in the OP.

the generalizations simply make it clear you do not see us as individuals...and we are just fulfilling some role need you have (like having someone around to criticize, or manipulate to try & make your self look or feel superior.) This is how your relationship descriptions sound to me. Sorry I don't intend to offend you and of course, apologize if I have

Yeah, the women.

LOL

i agree... always the woman's fault...

I always wondered what a circle jerk looked like...