100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Shouting it from the rooftops | |
|---|---|
|
Edited by
AthenaRose2
on
Sun 03/31/13 07:38 AM
|
|
I have a tendency to question myself about everything. And I worry that I talk about my "late" husband too much at times...I don't want to bore anyone or come across as a boaster or braggart etc...Guess I'm still going through grief and I miss my husband and sons a lot. (And all that we shared together.)...But I do question myself about what I "write" and how it may come across to others. (In all areas.).. It's all part of the "growth-process" to me. I figure I still have a great deal to learn. (About myself...About society...About social interaction and everything else in life too.) Hi Green Eyes... Happy Easter... I just wanted to comment that I too often question my own posts and if I have gone too far. But, just like you, this is a new and first time experience for me, and we learn as we go and grow... I personally enjoyed all the conversations we had about your husband and sons, because we grew to know each other better, and for that I'm glad... I never thought you said too much, or in a wrong spirit, when all I could see and hear and feel is your love and loss of your entire family... and my heart goes out to you, it doesn't judge your passion to remember them, and share their memory with us... may peace always be yours, Claire...  
I think we all probably grow through that awkward stage called our 20's thru 40's... lol... we all learn in our younger years what we're thankful to know in our later years when we can finally slow down and enjoy just being alive...  Well, I gotta go to work now, so talk laters... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Some people seem to need and thrive on outside validation...As in: "I'm a nobody and I don't exist unless I 'tell all' and share my thoughts and feelings and experiences with the whole world. Or at least everyone who crosses my path."...Maybe there is a middle-ground. What do you think?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Good grief, have y'all hearts frozen solid?
Shouting it from the rooftops is your heart telling the world, "I LOVE this woman!" There's no ulterior motives or angles or whatever—it's just love and your heart giving it voice through you. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Some people seem to need and thrive on outside validation...As in: "I'm a nobody and I don't exist unless I 'tell all' and share my thoughts and feelings and experiences with the whole world. Or at least everyone who crosses my path."...Maybe there is a middle-ground. What do you think? I think there's something to what you say here. We are social beings and we feel the need to express our thoughts and feelings publicly through language to make them meaningful. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Some people seem to need and thrive on outside validation...As in: "I'm a nobody and I don't exist unless I 'tell all' and share my thoughts and feelings and experiences with the whole world. Or at least everyone who crosses my path."...Maybe there is a middle-ground. What do you think? I think there's something to what you say here. We are social beings and we feel the need to express our thoughts and feelings publicly through language to make them meaningful. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Some people seem to need and thrive on outside validation...As in: "I'm a nobody and I don't exist unless I 'tell all' and share my thoughts and feelings and experiences with the whole world. Or at least everyone who crosses my path."...Maybe there is a middle-ground. What do you think? I think there's something to what you say here. We are social beings and we feel the need to express our thoughts and feelings publicly through language to make them meaningful. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Love is a very special thing that happens between two people but some people feel the need not just to share that with each other and live in their own little world together and they have to tell the whole world about it. Does making what was a very private and personal thing public devalue it and make it feel less intimate and romantic I don't see anything wrong with holding hands and a quick smooch in public. Or telling her "I love you" in a crowded restaurant. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Good grief, have y'all hearts frozen solid? Shouting it from the rooftops is your heart telling the world, "I LOVE this woman!" There's no ulterior motives or angles or whatever—it's just love and your heart giving it voice through you. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Some people seem to need and thrive on outside validation...As in: "I'm a nobody and I don't exist unless I 'tell all' and share my thoughts and feelings and experiences with the whole world. Or at least everyone who crosses my path."...Maybe there is a middle-ground. What do you think? I think there's something to what you say here. We are social beings and we feel the need to express our thoughts and feelings publicly through language to make them meaningful. I am a loner as well. When people say to me that I should talk to somebody about my feelings or my problems I don't really see the point in it because they mean talking to someone that isn't personally involved. I think that talking to other people about things can help to get them into perspective but you don't always want that "objective" opinion. Talking to people about things that are very personal to you can make them seem trivial. It can almost be like a betrayal. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This thread has been edited of some comments
aimed at other posters rather than the Topic. soufie Site Moderator |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This thread has been edited of some comments aimed at other posters rather than the Topic. soufie Site Moderator Thank you Soufie... |
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
KiK2me
on
Sun 03/31/13 02:56 PM
|
|
Happy Easter Sunday !
YOU rock Soufie 
PEACE ON EARTH ! And let love grow... |
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
DaySinner
on
Sun 03/31/13 02:57 PM
|
|
Good grief, have y'all hearts frozen solid? Shouting it from the rooftops is your heart telling the world, "I LOVE this woman!" There's no ulterior motives or angles or whatever—it's just love and your heart giving it voice through you. What finish line? Is there a finish line? Happy Easter everyone!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
What specifically interests me is whether it makes it feel less intimate or romantic when you talk to other people about it
I share your sentiment on this. It takes the magic out of a relationship if you talk it over too much with friends and relatives. Such conversations usually end with conclusions about what you should or should not be doing. Not only does it hurt the romance, but it can degrade relationships across the board. Does making what was a very private and personal thing public devalue it and make it feel less intimate and romantic
I see an important difference between analyzing and "shouting from the rooftops." Announcing your love can be an incredible experience, like jumping off the high dive for the first time. Some will share in that incredible feeling, others may not perhaps, because they worry for you. BTW TawtStrat, great thread
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Love is a very special thing that happens between two people but some people feel the need not just to share that with each other and live in their own little world together and they have to tell the whole world about it. Does making what was a very private and personal thing public devalue it and make it feel less intimate and romantic No, I do not think that making it public would devalue it at all. Why would it? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Some people seem to need and thrive on outside validation...As in: "I'm a nobody and I don't exist unless I 'tell all' and share my thoughts and feelings and experiences with the whole world. Or at least everyone who crosses my path."...Maybe there is a middle-ground. What do you think? I don't think that letting others know about a relationship you're happy with means you thrive on outside validation. It could mean that you're happy and letting people know about it. Why make it sound like something negative? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I don't think that letting others know about a relationship you're happy with means you thrive on outside validation. It could mean that you're happy and letting people know about it. Why make it sound like something negative? Exactly :) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Love is a very special thing that happens between two people but some people feel the need not just to share that with each other and live in their own little world together and they have to tell the whole world about it. Does making what was a very private and personal thing public devalue it and make it feel less intimate and romantic No, I do not think that making it public would devalue it at all. Why would it? Because you are talking about something special that you shared with someone special and I think that it being something that just the two of you share together is what makes it special. I agree with DaySinner that it can break the magic. What makes it romantic in the first place? I am interested in the psychology of romantic love and that is what I am trying to explore with this topic. There is a difference between just telling other people that you love somebody and telling them why you love them. The former is easy to understand but the latter is not and it is just not going to be as meaningful to other people as it is to you. In some cases people will be unable to understand it at all and the process of talking about it might make you realise that you don't really understand it either or that what made it meaningful to you is conversely something that other people can understand but it isn't really that special or unique. There is also the fact that when we do this we will try to put it into language that we think other people will understand. An example of this would be a guy boasting to his friends about how he had sex with someone. He is likely to talk about it in a way that isn't going to make it sound too soppy if he doesn't want his friends to think that he's soppy. Or if he is a soppy "romantic" he might talk about it in a soppy way because he is concerned about how he appears to others. We all wear masks in one way or another and have public personas. We are social beings and language always gets its meaning through the social context. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Love is a very special thing that happens between two people but some people feel the need not just to share that with each other and live in their own little world together and they have to tell the whole world about it. Does making what was a very private and personal thing public devalue it and make it feel less intimate and romantic No, I do not think that making it public would devalue it at all. Why would it? Because you are talking about something special that you shared with someone special and I think that it being something that just the two of you share together is what makes it special. I agree with DaySinner that it can break the magic. What makes it romantic in the first place? I am interested in the psychology of romantic love and that is what I am trying to explore with this topic. There is a difference between just telling other people that you love somebody and telling them why you love them. The former is easy to understand but the latter is not and it is just not going to be as meaningful to other people as it is to you. In some cases people will be unable to understand it at all and the process of talking about it might make you realise that you don't really understand it either or that what made it meaningful to you is conversely something that other people can understand but it isn't really that special or unique. There is also the fact that when we do this we will try to put it into language that we think other people will understand. An example of this would be a guy boasting to his friends about how he had sex with someone. He is likely to talk about it in a way that isn't going to make it sound too soppy if he doesn't want his friends to think that he's soppy. Or if he is a soppy "romantic" he might talk about it in a soppy way because he is concerned about how he appears to others. We all wear masks in one way or another and have public personas. We are social beings and language always gets its meaning through the social context. I totally get what you're saying here Tawt and, after some clarification, I understand your question...As a person studying psychology, you are taking the question to a deeper, more complex level...Those giving you simple yes or no answers are staying on the surface...They are most likely not psychology majors so you might want to cut them a little slack, even those who are trying to make a joke of the topic  ...I find it very interesting and I love reading your take on it because I know it is your field of study and I am certain I can learn from you....Of course the obvious answer is, "Falling is love is a wonderful euphoric time for couples...Shouting it from the rooftops is a good thing, why over analyze it?".. Who wouldn't agree? ...I think what you are trying to get at is how much is too much concerning content and what, of any, are the consequences of making too much personal information public...Be it bragging rights or just plain old euphoria, where do we draw the line?....
The first problem people run into when they shout it to the rooftops is the difficulty of putting their unique "feelings" into language that others will understand "exactly" as they intend ...By trying to do this, one opens the door to interpretation which allows for the possibility (probability) of miscommunication ...That fact alone would have the potential to create a negative effect on the relationship....Then there is the comfort zone issue I talked about earlier...Along with loss of intimacy or diminished romantic feelings....So yeah, it makes more sense to me to temper public display and be very selective about what you are willing to share with everyone, even your closest and most trusted friends BECAUSE the quality and safe keeping of my new relationship would be my first priority....Whew, I'm exhausted!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Michael loves Pepper!
Ok baby, need to go outside for a pee? |
|
|
|
|
