That would be MY THOUGHTS to Jess,,,M is EXCLUSIVE and SHOULD BE, TREATED AS THAT! Whatever your thoughts are, BEFORE D,, YOU must tell M, or NEVER DO D, BECAUSE TWO is TWO,,,and "THREE" is "THREE", and "THAT" wouldn't be for "ME"...
Good luck, with greener on the other side as to KNOWING on "your" truth!!

Well putIam4U. She herself said that what she has with 'M' is EXCLUSIVE. Did she not. So keep it exclusive. I agree?

Untill the ring is on your finger and you take the vows......your not obligated to any one person.

Rather than ask the question of which one would you rather be with - which one would it be harder to be without? That's the choice you should make.

Eljay, makes a valid point.

When U bent u knees for 'M' and you went down, did U not promise him that from now on I am yours exclusively? Did it not mean just that even if you did not say it?

Are you going to share that 'so private thing with someone else.
Would you risk M calling you a mattress when he finds out that U let someone else lie down on you and get into that so very secret thing he believed you will keep to share with him?

Do you not think that you should tell 'D' (the way women do it) that you cannot have a relationship with him at this time? U do not have to explain anything more.

Do not make a mockery of him however like it is a punishment you are giving him for you have part of the blame for not being in a relationship with him. You could have told him: "Anytime you want to be with me, you can" or something like that.
You could have kept dropping heavy hints like: "I am going down to that function or party later, U coming?" then the next thing nobody knows the future. Do they?

U know how a woman who will have sex with 2 men at the same time, are considered by men?

Suppose U get pregnant who will be the father. When both if them disown, are you going to call them 'dogs' some some women do? How will they know WHO is the father, because U say so. Or U will have a fraternity test first? Suppose now it is for the other one you do not want to stay with?

Suppose when both of them REALIZE that you are having sex with someone else, they decide to do the same; they each have someone else? Now that is how many? And the someone else realize that they are not the only woman M & D have; and they remain with their someone else also. Now you all are in a risk group. And one person contract genital herpes. Everybody geting it. About 20 of you by now in the chain. Not so?

My friend!!! U stay with who U laready having sex with y'hear. That is what sex means. WE ARE STUCK TOGETHER, like when you saw yourself in the mirror while having sex. STUCK TOGETHER!!!!

You do not have a problem there. You are really giving us the answers. Now we have to provide the QUESTIONS. Not so?

You are asking answers. Are you not?

This is a tough one! You just have to look deep in your heart and choose who you really love, Not who you think U should be with or be with one out of giult. It will just end bad later anyway.

Tough call, best to pick the right one for you. Sometimes the right one for you might be the one who wants you back instead of the one you want the most.

boy they are both pretty "new" friends so I can see the delimma, I agree that you should be honest with them and yourself...I do wonder about the old friend taking so long to want to "date" you, but perhaps there is a valid reason..Ever see "because I said so?" this is sooo iffy isn't it?

how ironic


how many have posted why do jdfqsdkl always lie

and why cant you ever trust jfghoasdfhg


and here are a bunch saying go for it

do it

not obligated


well if you word is worthless

then i guess those are true statements


but hey what do i know

adj4u, I was thinking the same thing. A committment is a committment with or without the ring and paper. One should always respect the relationship and the other person. If the relationship was not meant to be, then you have obligation to be honest with that person and end it 1st.

*****Please note that I am not advising that she should end it w/ M and go for D. Please see my earlier comments on my advice for that subject. I am just noting that I do not condone any form of cheating!*****

Here is the advice that I gave previously.............

"I do agree with most of the other posters here. The truth is that ONLY you can decide. Take time and be honest with yourself and them. Choose one or none.

Good Luck. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. I suspect that part of the dilemma is that you do not wish to hurt anyone, but no matter what you will do, someone will be hurt. Just allow them the dignity that comes with honesty.

I do not recommend dating both due to it would be unfair to them & make things more confusing.

Good Luck. My heart goes out to you and them for this difficult decision.

Take Care
Alexia "

Pull a hugh heffner; stay single forever and date around a lot. exclusivity?! pfft. :) unless you are madly in love and have that undeniable spark with someone, don't settle. Keep dating and dating and dating. just my 2 bits

OMG! You guys gave a lot of great advice. And for the one who posted about me having sex with M -NO I have not. Just because you date someone for a few months does not mean you have to sleep with them. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt and won't sleep with someone until I AM READY and 100% sure! Yes girls there are actually guys who will wait patiently until you are ready still out there. I care deeply about both. I can not imagine my life without D in it because he is my friend, my best bud, the one I turn to when I need a shoulder. No life with M is not perfect but being as we are only human it can not be. I accept him for who he is, faults and all. D has faults to. Thank all of you for your advice, I'm going to stay with M and hope I don't lose D's friendship.

Good Luck, BK. Take Care, Alexia