Im from scotland and have been speaking to a guy from england for 6mnths. we talk on the phone everyday and txt constantly, we make each other laugh. we are attracted to each other in every way and want to be together to the point he is looking for work here. he told me he was going to suprise me and get on a train and call me once he had arrived in glasgow and settled into a hotel but his plans had fell through. when he told me yhis my stomach started doin flips and I got really scared and cant understand why as Im not normally like that with people. can anyone shed any light on this, thanx

You might be both having butterflies.

You might talk or text him about mutual assurance. In other words, you might let him know you won't try to scare him if he will do the same. Its a big move for both of you I am sure.

Well, it sounds like you haven't even met the guy and you have already commited to a relationship and he's talking about wanting to move in with you. Have you done that sort of thing before?

Of course that's going to be scarey. How sure are you about wanting this and so fast really? You can't really know someone properly just from emails, texts and phone calls. You have this idea in your head about how great this guy is and how you want to be with him but it's really a fantasy that hasn't become a reality yet.

Maybe but it doesnt feel like that. its as tho we have everything a relationship needs apart from the physical aspect. Im not nieve there is obviously a lot of things we have still to find out about each other but we both know we would get on really well. he has told his family about me and what he wants to do

He wouldnt be moving in with me. he would be going to a hotel or b&b until he rents a flat! and no I have never done this sort of thing before

Can I ask what you mean by "His plans fell through"? Is it that he has cancelled out on you? Or does he mean wait another time? The people here are just making sure you don't end up one of those kidnapped people, with your face on a milk carton. That's all. I think maybe keep asking him lots of questions about himself. Just don't go rushing things ;)

If theres any doupt in your mind. I would advise that you start seeing me..

Thanks its nice to know there are people looking out for us. his plan fell through as he was waiting to recieve payment from a job but it hadnt come through but will defo come to glasgow for the weekend in summer to meet me. I know a lot about his personal life, his kids, his mum. and brothers and sisters

Well, I would be a bit concerned if they were putting it off saying that they had financial problems.

Honestly, you can't really know how genuine someone is just from the phone calls and texts and emails and you can't really know how much of what they are telling you is true.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't do this and I guess that if he's just said that he's going to get a hotel room and you will meet up and go out together and stuff that isn't exactly jumping into anything too much too quickly. He is talking about uprooting his whole life just to be with you nevertheless and making you all sorts of promises. I think that in these situations you just have to be a bit cautious. I'm not saying that you shouldn't trust him at all but actually get to know him properly before you get too carried away with it.

I think,its a natural response; i mean,you've not met yet,but you have been together that long-and all is going very well for you both!!
Afraid of the unknown(even when you know a lot about him already)!! Afraid of the jump!!
Btw,he could be having the same reaction as you......
I know,us women,we always worry about this,that and the other....even when unfounded,till we are totally sure!
Sooo,
Take a deep breath,look at ''it'' from all angles and with a critical eye-i know you will find what it is thats really scaring you....or is it your 7th sense beating the drums??
Either way,stay safe!

^ this

Are you both still avidly communicating daily since his plans fell through due to his lack of finances? Is he asking you to borrow money now, or telling you he's having to borrow from his other friends or family to pay his daily living expenses until he gets paid from his previous employer? Is he making suggestions that he could save money if you would just let him stay with you instead of at a motel, when he does come for the summer visit? If he does get his overdue wages, and uses that money to fund his trip to Scotland, then rents a room while he looks for work there, is he going to stay in the motel until he begins work, then uses his first check to find an apartment? What if he can't find work quick enough and his funds run out, are you going to invite him to move in with you because he left his life in England behind and there's nothing for him to go back too? I'm only asking to see how far ahead you are thinking and he is planning...

No hes not asking any of that. hes going to apply for work before he moves so he has a job to come to. he isopen enough about his life. yes we sill talk more than ever since his plan fell through. he was on the phone tome not. long ago.

My family came from Isle of Skye. I've always wanted to go see the place. Maybe someday, eh? As for your long distance thing I've found that they can be annoyingly unpredictable. I know, because I've had a few recently and they were all bad. My suggestion would be to not put all of your hope into one long distant basket. Be cool and chill and keep your options open.

Im more than aware of guys and there false promises and im very realistic about the pros and cons of this situation. suppose im just wondering and hoping like any girl that he could possibly turn out to be the one. I know if it didnt work out we both would have at least found a friend in each other. we have spoke in great detail of what would happen

Yeah he said that when he had decided he was going to suprise me he was scared and excited.

Lol thanks