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| Topic: what's wrong with him or me? | |
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I've been talkin to a guy from somewhere rather far from me for a month or so. We chatted every day and night(when I woke up and about to sleep)(my day is his nite,my nite is his day)..he planned to come to visit me right after we started talkin but I was busy with my test so I told him come after my test,he agreed and he's counting the day with me everytime we talkd,everythin seemed fine,he even told me tht he has booked the ticket in advance,he told me the date of his arrival and stuff but suddenly he just sort of disappeared the week before he supposed to come..the last conversation we had was he sent me a hello but I slept off and didn't reply then I never hear frm him again
(We talked via msn)he gave his number to me on msn but I didn't save it Am really confused,and its been more than 2weeks,silence,no news..why guys change their mind like girls change the clothes??WHY? |
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Edited by
AthenaRose2
on
Sat 03/16/13 07:34 AM
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What you describe sounds like the typical scammer/player routine that men practice on unsuspecting women online. When I first joined a dating site 6 months ago, a scammer befriended me too, and we talked for over 2 months while he kept asking me to loan him money, find out travel data for him, etc... I sensed that he was a scammer and never gave him anything he asked for, but because I was writing a story about my new experiences online, I let the connection run its natural course... Then, a couple months later I happened to be on another dating site checking my messages, and that site actually matched me with him, but, he wasn't the same man now, his profile picture was the same, but he was using a different name and residential location, so just by luck I was able to finish my story on him with the actual proof I needed to make it factual. Moral of this short story.. Now that you've had this one experience, the next time a man online starts running this same scenario with you, your red flags should tell you to be very careful, even steer clear... and be thankful the first guy didn't rip you off for anything but your time...
P.S. if your friend turns out to be a sincere individual that is merely offended because you didn't chase after him, and he does contact you again, it would be so cool if you could give us an update, so we can see if he's for real and just self centered, or if he's a scammer/player... |
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perhaps he is feeling the same way too,, never know
if you lost his number, you clearly havent contacted him either,, even after he had booked tickets to see you,,, just never know, could be a scam, could be something happened to him, or he could just be sensitive to not having been contacted by you |
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btw, you look something like the 'ex' of another poster here that I havent seen in a bit,,,,,
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perhaps he is feeling the same way too,, never know if you lost his number, you clearly havent contacted him either,, even after he had booked tickets to see you,,, just never know, could be a scam, could be something happened to him, or he could just be sensitive to not having been contacted by you Agree Harmony...There could be lots of reasons, even fear or a case of nerves  I would think a "scammer" would have hit her up for a dime toward travel arrangements too...Every lost connection should not be blamed on scamming or players...Too negative....
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Sad story If you want to play at a long distance relationship you are courting trouble. First the longer the time from first contact to actual meeting the greater the liklihood either party will find soomeone else closer and more readily available. Why choose someone unless financially able to commute easily and is willing to do so immediately instead go back and seek local more available people. Im not saying yo cant do long distance its just more difficult than people who reside much closer. The same rules apply to initial contact and first meeting as the more time you spend investing in a person without having met you run the risk of 1) misrepresentation the people are not as they appear, 2)you have no chemistry, 3) You hide behind your screen to keep you from actually learing how to meet socially 4) You cant learn how to introduce yourself if you dont set up inital contact meetings a precursor to a date- just a cup of coffee and or a single drink you can always make a genuine date if you are comfortable with the initial meeting otherwise thank the person and move on.This process is a numbers game if you arent willing to meet a lot of people yo leave it to circumstance to determine who you chooose . The larger the sampling pool the greater the chances of a better match all the way around Regards
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Sad story If you want to play at a long distance relationship you are courting trouble. First the longer the time from first contact to actual meeting the greater the liklihood either party will find soomeone else closer and more readily available. Why choose someone unless financially able to commute easily and is willing to do so immediately instead go back and seek local more available people. Im not saying yo cant do long distance its just more difficult than people who reside much closer. The same rules apply to initial contact and first meeting as the more time you spend investing in a person without having met you run the risk of 1) misrepresentation the people are not as they appear, 2)you have no chemistry, 3) You hide behind your screen to keep you from actually learing how to meet socially 4) You cant learn how to introduce yourself if you dont set up inital contact meetings a precursor to a date- just a cup of coffee and or a single drink you can always make a genuine date if you are comfortable with the initial meeting otherwise thank the person and move on.This process is a numbers game if you arent willing to meet a lot of people yo leave it to circumstance to determine who you chooose . The larger the sampling pool the greater the chances of a better match all the way around Regards  As a person who has now been in a LDR for over a year, these are wise words and very good advice Sybar...Long distance relationships are hard and can become very expensive...They require a super amount of trust and loads of patience....They are not the best scenario and certainly not for everyone...
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What you describe sounds like the typical scammer/player routine that men practice on unsuspecting women online. When I first joined a dating site 6 months ago, a scammer befriended me too, and we talked for over 2 months while he kept asking me to loan him money, find out travel data for him, etc... I sensed that he was a scammer and never gave him anything he asked for, but because I was writing a story about my new experiences online, I let the connection run its natural course... Then, a couple months later I happened to be on another dating site checking my messages, and that site actually matched me with him, but, he wasn't the same man now, his profile picture was the same, but he was using a different name and residential location, so just by luck I was able to finish my story on him with the actual proof I needed to make it factual. Moral of this short story.. Now that you've had this one experience, the next time a man online starts running this same scenario with you, your red flags should tell you to be very careful, even steer clear... and be thankful the first guy didn't rip you off for anything but your time... P.S. if your friend turns out to be a sincere individual that is merely offended because you didn't chase after him, and he does contact you again, it would be so cool if you could give us an update, so we can see if he's for real and just self centered, or if he's a scammer/player... He could be scammer I dnt knw but he never asked me for loan or anythin He offered me to come to Colorado(where he stays),but I said its too risky better you come to me if you want to. Then he said its fine and he always asked if he could come earlier,but I said my exams meant a lot and I wouldn't hv time for him,so he said fine..then he started doin research about hotel near my area,basically I just told him some spot he might like then he did the research then we both agreed which hotel he shld be stayin..when we talked we talked about his family,my family,his daily routine,shared abt thing he learnt in meditation class etc,sometimes when I didn't come online he will email me.. We met on another dating site..jst weird tht he didn't say anythin and decided to stay silent on me |
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btw, you look something like the 'ex' of another poster here that I havent seen in a bit,,,,, Wat do you mean? |
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perhaps he is feeling the same way too,, never know if you lost his number, you clearly havent contacted him either,, even after he had booked tickets to see you,,, just never know, could be a scam, could be something happened to him, or he could just be sensitive to not having been contacted by you We never contacted on phone,just msn via phone,he gave me his number sayin incase I need to talk to him anytime I can get him |
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perhaps he is feeling the same way too,, never know if you lost his number, you clearly havent contacted him either,, even after he had booked tickets to see you,,, just never know, could be a scam, could be something happened to him, or he could just be sensitive to not having been contacted by you Agree Harmony...There could be lots of reasons, even fear or a case of nerves I would think a "scammer" would have hit her up for a dime toward travel arrangements too...Every lost connection should not be blamed on scamming or players...Too negative.... Few days before he 'disappeared',we didn't talk much,yea I did say hi every day&nite but somehow seemed like ntg more 2talk abt,then the night(when he woke up)I was sleepin and didn't see his msg,he never come online since then,I did send 2msg on tht dating site 2him but he didn't reply |
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What you describe sounds like the typical scammer/player routine that men practice on unsuspecting women online. When I first joined a dating site 6 months ago, a scammer befriended me too, and we talked for over 2 months while he kept asking me to loan him money, find out travel data for him, etc... I sensed that he was a scammer and never gave him anything he asked for, but because I was writing a story about my new experiences online, I let the connection run its natural course... Then, a couple months later I happened to be on another dating site checking my messages, and that site actually matched me with him, but, he wasn't the same man now, his profile picture was the same, but he was using a different name and residential location, so just by luck I was able to finish my story on him with the actual proof I needed to make it factual. Moral of this short story.. Now that you've had this one experience, the next time a man online starts running this same scenario with you, your red flags should tell you to be very careful, even steer clear... and be thankful the first guy didn't rip you off for anything but your time... P.S. if your friend turns out to be a sincere individual that is merely offended because you didn't chase after him, and he does contact you again, it would be so cool if you could give us an update, so we can see if he's for real and just self centered, or if he's a scammer/player... He could be scammer I dnt knw but he never asked me for loan or anythin He offered me to come to Colorado(where he stays),but I said its too risky better you come to me if you want to. Then he said its fine and he always asked if he could come earlier,but I said my exams meant a lot and I wouldn't hv time for him,so he said fine..then he started doin research about hotel near my area,basically I just told him some spot he might like then he did the research then we both agreed which hotel he shld be stayin..when we talked we talked about his family,my family,his daily routine,shared abt thing he learnt in meditation class etc,sometimes when I didn't come online he will email me.. We met on another dating site..jst weird tht he didn't say anythin and decided to stay silent on me What you are describing is exactly how the scammer operated with me... he even gave me his cell phone number so we could talk offline... and he didn't start asking me for anything until 5 weeks into our communication... he was very smooth, and convincing... I had just divorced my husband of 18 yrs and was emotionally distraught, so this very kind stranger knew how to say all the right things to bring a smile back to my heart. He told me all about his life and his tragedies so that I would feel pity for him too. After he felt comfortable, or thought I was comfortable with him, he began whining about having financial difficulties, and suddenly, one day he calls me and tells me he needs money quickly to get out of a jam... well, my ex was late on his alimony payments, and I was upset about that... so there was no way I was going to help some strange man out, especially when it's normally the women asking men for help, not the other way around... When it comes to your guy, if he's not a true scammer, maybe he found another woman to talk too, and just didn't know how to tell you he was moving on... no matter what his ultimate story is, if he doesn't contact you again you won't get closure unless you just put him out of your mind, and learn from the experience.. Personally, I think you are very wise not to have went to him when he first asked you too, because now you can see how he really is... and who knows if he would have left you stranded in Colorado if things didn't work out between you two... You're a very pretty lady, and any man would be crazy not to want you interested in him, after the two of you have gotten as close as you have... unless he's got something else going on... so, out of sight, out of mind is the best scenario now... |
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Sad story If you want to play at a long distance relationship you are courting trouble. First the longer the time from first contact to actual meeting the greater the liklihood either party will find soomeone else closer and more readily available. Why choose someone unless financially able to commute easily and is willing to do so immediately instead go back and seek local more available people. Im not saying yo cant do long distance its just more difficult than people who reside much closer. The same rules apply to initial contact and first meeting as the more time you spend investing in a person without having met you run the risk of 1) misrepresentation the people are not as they appear, 2)you have no chemistry, 3) You hide behind your screen to keep you from actually learing how to meet socially 4) You cant learn how to introduce yourself if you dont set up inital contact meetings a precursor to a date- just a cup of coffee and or a single drink you can always make a genuine date if you are comfortable with the initial meeting otherwise thank the person and move on.This process is a numbers game if you arent willing to meet a lot of people yo leave it to circumstance to determine who you chooose . The larger the sampling pool the greater the chances of a better match all the way around Regards I understand where you're coming from.. I did ask him to find someone close to him be4 he booked the ticket cz I wasn't sure abt long term r/s,he said we could work it out,so I said yes,he even went online and check how I could get visa to stay in US for longer period and sent me those info.. Maybe he found someone else somehow |
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Sad story If you want to play at a long distance relationship you are courting trouble. First the longer the time from first contact to actual meeting the greater the liklihood either party will find soomeone else closer and more readily available. Why choose someone unless financially able to commute easily and is willing to do so immediately instead go back and seek local more available people. Im not saying yo cant do long distance its just more difficult than people who reside much closer. The same rules apply to initial contact and first meeting as the more time you spend investing in a person without having met you run the risk of 1) misrepresentation the people are not as they appear, 2)you have no chemistry, 3) You hide behind your screen to keep you from actually learing how to meet socially 4) You cant learn how to introduce yourself if you dont set up inital contact meetings a precursor to a date- just a cup of coffee and or a single drink you can always make a genuine date if you are comfortable with the initial meeting otherwise thank the person and move on.This process is a numbers game if you arent willing to meet a lot of people yo leave it to circumstance to determine who you chooose . The larger the sampling pool the greater the chances of a better match all the way around Regards I understand where you're coming from.. I did ask him to find someone close to him be4 he booked the ticket cz I wasn't sure abt long term r/s,he said we could work it out,so I said yes,he even went online and check how I could get visa to stay in US for longer period and sent me those info.. Maybe he found someone else at last |
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What you describe sounds like the typical scammer/player routine that men practice on unsuspecting women online. When I first joined a dating site 6 months ago, a scammer befriended me too, and we talked for over 2 months while he kept asking me to loan him money, find out travel data for him, etc... I sensed that he was a scammer and never gave him anything he asked for, but because I was writing a story about my new experiences online, I let the connection run its natural course... Then, a couple months later I happened to be on another dating site checking my messages, and that site actually matched me with him, but, he wasn't the same man now, his profile picture was the same, but he was using a different name and residential location, so just by luck I was able to finish my story on him with the actual proof I needed to make it factual. Moral of this short story.. Now that you've had this one experience, the next time a man online starts running this same scenario with you, your red flags should tell you to be very careful, even steer clear... and be thankful the first guy didn't rip you off for anything but your time... P.S. if your friend turns out to be a sincere individual that is merely offended because you didn't chase after him, and he does contact you again, it would be so cool if you could give us an update, so we can see if he's for real and just self centered, or if he's a scammer/player... He could be scammer I dnt knw but he never asked me for loan or anythin He offered me to come to Colorado(where he stays),but I said its too risky better you come to me if you want to. Then he said its fine and he always asked if he could come earlier,but I said my exams meant a lot and I wouldn't hv time for him,so he said fine..then he started doin research about hotel near my area,basically I just told him some spot he might like then he did the research then we both agreed which hotel he shld be stayin..when we talked we talked about his family,my family,his daily routine,shared abt thing he learnt in meditation class etc,sometimes when I didn't come online he will email me.. We met on another dating site..jst weird tht he didn't say anythin and decided to stay silent on me What you are describing is exactly how the scammer operated with me... he even gave me his cell phone number so we could talk offline... and he didn't start asking me for anything until 5 weeks into our communication... he was very smooth, and convincing... I had just divorced my husband of 18 yrs and was emotionally distraught, so this very kind stranger knew how to say all the right things to bring a smile back to my heart. He told me all about his life and his tragedies so that I would feel pity for him too. After he felt comfortable, or thought I was comfortable with him, he began whining about having financial difficulties, and suddenly, one day he calls me and tells me he needs money quickly to get out of a jam... well, my ex was late on his alimony payments, and I was upset about that... so there was no way I was going to help some strange man out, especially when it's normally the women asking men for help, not the other way around... When it comes to your guy, if he's not a true scammer, maybe he found another woman to talk too, and just didn't know how to tell you he was moving on... no matter what his ultimate story is, if he doesn't contact you again you won't get closure unless you just put him out of your mind, and learn from the experience.. Personally, I think you are very wise not to have went to him when he first asked you too, because now you can see how he really is... and who knows if he would have left you stranded in Colorado if things didn't work out between you two... You're a very pretty lady, and any man would be crazy not to want you interested in him, after the two of you have gotten as close as you have... unless he's got something else going on... so, out of sight, out of mind is the best scenario now... We always chatted online,the only time he gave me his number was when I told him I was feeling bad so he said he could call me if I want I said its ok so he gave me his number sayin whenever I wanna talk I can always phone him, Most time he just sent me pic of wat he is doin,(when he got a new table,baked some bread,the place he went biking etc)he said he just out of military so he wanna take a break be4 findin a new job,and he never like talkin about his family esp his mother but I liked to ask questions.. We never been together,just dnt get it why suddenly just lost contact without a word Thx sweety for ur comfort:) |
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There is nothing wrong with you cheryline. He might have ptsd or something, you can never tell,
I consider it his loss. |
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There is nothing wrong with you cheryline. He might have ptsd or something, you can never tell, I consider it his loss. Thankyou sir Maybe he found a new gal,American gals are sweeter after all |
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There is nothing wrong with you cheryline. He might have ptsd or something, you can never tell, I consider it his loss. Thankyou sir Maybe he found a new gal,American gals are sweeter after all Cheryline22, you are wrong. Girls in Malaysia are just as sweet. Like others here, I suspect that you have been dealing with a scam artist. I have already learned what it takes for someone in your part of the world to gain permission to enter the USA, and it isn't easy. |
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btw, you look something like the 'ex' of another poster here that I havent seen in a bit,,,,, Wat do you mean? she might mean you resemble his http://mingle2.com/user/view/258248 ex-girlfriend |
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Sat 03/16/13 01:18 PM
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I've been talkin to a guy from somewhere rather far from me for a month or so. We chatted every day and night(when I woke up and about to sleep)(my day is his nite,my nite is his day)..he planned to come to visit me right after we started talkin but I was busy with my test so I told him come after my test,he agreed and he's counting the day with me everytime we talkd,everythin seemed fine,he even told me tht he has booked the ticket in advance,he told me the date of his arrival and stuff but suddenly he just sort of disappeared the week before he supposed to come..the last conversation we had was he sent me a hello but I slept off and didn't reply then I never hear frm him again (We talked via msn)he gave his number to me on msn but I didn't save it Am really confused,and its been more than 2weeks,silence,no news..why guys change their mind like girls change the clothes??WHY? Who knows what happen to him, unless he let you know himself! |
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