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| Topic: How do we win over the competition? | |
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Exclusive is exclusive. Not exclusive is just not so serious. There is really no place for jealousy in either situation if you think about it.... You're right... there really wasn't that much jealousy... it was/is a respect issue at it's core... |
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I'm not sure that I understand exactly what you're asking here but if I meet someone who becomes my "partner" or "significant other" I take it that you are talking about someone that I've started a sexual relationship with and in that case there's no way that I would think that it was cool that she was still dating other men. People like that are players and they mess you about. She either wants to be my girlfriend or she doesn't. yes, the partners have an active sex life, a real relationship... and I'm with you too... I think it's wrong for our lovers to be stepping around on us, especially if its with people they know have it out for us to begin with. that's just too below the belt... trashy even... Well, you seem to be talking from personal experience with this stuff about people "that have it in for us" and that sounds like a bitchy female thing. It's different with men I think. A fight over a woman would be exactly that. When I was in a situation with a woman that was also seeing another guy she said to me that she thought that it might be nice if I met him and I said that I didn't think that would really be a good idea and she knew that I would have kicked the **** out of him if we had a fight over her, so I didn't go to that party and she did and that was the end of that relationship.  you're just too funny tawt... you obviously have never had meddlin in-laws... or you'd know how devious people can be when they want to interfere with somebody's relationship... and your girlfriend who wanted you to meet her ex, sounds like she was pretty free spirited... maybe even trying to make you jealous?... just making conversation... not statin facts...
The guy wasn't her ex. He was a guy that she started seeing when we were "on a break", if I can put it that way. She was free spirited and she was telling me that we were just "friends" and saying the same thing about him but she just wanted to have her cake and eat it. And I don't think that she was being serious when she said that she would like me to meet him. She liked to play mind games and she thought that the situation was funny. And no, I have never had meddling inlaws. I've never been married. Consider yourself spared then.. meddlin in-laws are the worst kind of knife in the back... yeah, it definitely sounds like your girl was trying to bait both hooks to see which was a keeper...
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For me i really have to consider that this is a dating site but i want it also to be natural in a way that i dont treat others here as a threat towards a guy. After all its a guys decision if whos who. They are here to settle/if they want to settle down so they must know how to narrow down, same with us. If ever he dont agree of me still chatting with my friends then its up to him. He must know where my loyalty is. hi winlei... so to you, it is important that you both know where your loyalty is toward each other? And if his loyalty rests more with another woman than with you, do you accept his divided feelings? he doesn't care Athena and of course he will correct if wrong, but what I mean is from what I have heard him say on here he is not pursuing a commitment....my impression is that he may also be doing some frolicking when they are not together. As for myself. It's a bit of a touchy subject, but if I knew my partner was bothered by me flirting with someone else on here who I was talking with before we got together, I'd respect that and tone it down. I also would not pay more attention to others than I do him, and I would not be chatting up other men in the PM. Also I would nt be chatting up others in the forum in the midst of our personal convos....I'd save the forums for the times that we are online together, or when I am alone and he is not here, but I'd keep it all public. My profile would also reflect a relationship status if I had one. I tend to be quite concious of behaving with loyalty and respect. All the things I have stated I would want in return. I do not think things would last long otherwise. I don't really care for "ladies amn" types anyway. |
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For me i really have to consider that this is a dating site but i want it also to be natural in a way that i dont treat others here as a threat towards a guy. After all its a guys decision if whos who. They are here to settle/if they want to settle down so they must know how to narrow down, same with us. If ever he dont agree of me still chatting with my friends then its up to him. He must know where my loyalty is. hi winlei... so to you, it is important that you both know where your loyalty is toward each other? And if his loyalty rests more with another woman than with you, do you accept his divided feelings? he doesn't care Athena and of course he will correct if wrong, but what I mean is from what I have heard him say on here he is not pursuing a commitment....my impression is that he may also be doing some frolicking when they are not together. As for myself. if I knew my partner was bothered by me flirting with someone else on here who I was talking with before we got together, I'd respect that and tone it down. The nature of the former relationship changes because it would not be appropriate for me to be flirting with others. I would not be chatting up other men in the PM. My profile would also reflect a relationship status if I had one. I tend to be quite concious of behaving with loyalty and respect. All the things I have stated I would want in return. I do not think things would last long otherwise. I don't really care for "ladies man" types anyway. and let me add that I would expect us both to keep all of our friends, and others who we call our friends would respect our relationship status and not try to cause jealousy or trouble if they are really our friends. It could definitely be a weeding out time, but hopefully that would not be necessary. |
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For me i really have to consider that this is a dating site but i want it also to be natural in a way that i dont treat others here as a threat towards a guy. After all its a guys decision if whos who. They are here to settle/if they want to settle down so they must know how to narrow down, same with us. If ever he dont agree of me still chatting with my friends then its up to him. He must know where my loyalty is. hi winlei... so to you, it is important that you both know where your loyalty is toward each other? And if his loyalty rests more with another woman than with you, do you accept his divided feelings? he doesn't care Athena and of course he will correct if wrong, but what I mean is from what I have heard him say on here he is not pursuing a commitment....my impression is that he may also be doing some frolicking when they are not together. As for myself. It's a bit of a touchy subject, but if I knew my partner was bothered by me flirting with someone else on here who I was talking with before we got together, I'd respect that and tone it down. I also would not pay more attention to others than I do him, and I would not be chatting up other men in the PM. Also I would nt be chatting up others in the forum in the midst of our personal convos....I'd save the forums for the times that we are online together, or when I am alone and he is not here, but I'd keep it all public. My profile would also reflect a relationship status if I had one. I tend to be quite concious of behaving with loyalty and respect. All the things I have stated I would want in return. I do not think things would last long otherwise. I don't really care for "ladies amn" types anyway. my situation is a bit strange in that my partner wanted me to stay online writing and posting... even when I wanted to quit, so many different times over these past 3 months, he encouraged me to continue.... it was a very confusing situation all the way around... but I always made sure everything was kept public so he could follow if he wanted too... and any private email contacts I kept him apprised of their topics too... I don't feel comfortable behaving in any kind of way that would cause unnecessary stress or jealousy on the man I care about... and I've never experienced an online friendship like this before and was learning as it went along.... I'm pretty open minded about things, but when my gut tells me something is just too way out in left field, that's when I have to take action regardless to the depth of my feelings... after all, even if others don't show me respect, I do respect myself... and will always hold my best interest in mind first... especially if I'm not married to him. |
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For me i really have to consider that this is a dating site but i want it also to be natural in a way that i dont treat others here as a threat towards a guy. After all its a guys decision if whos who. They are here to settle/if they want to settle down so they must know how to narrow down, same with us. If ever he dont agree of me still chatting with my friends then its up to him. He must know where my loyalty is. hi winlei... so to you, it is important that you both know where your loyalty is toward each other? And if his loyalty rests more with another woman than with you, do you accept his divided feelings? he doesn't care Athena and of course he will correct if wrong, but what I mean is from what I have heard him say on here he is not pursuing a commitment....my impression is that he may also be doing some frolicking when they are not together. As for myself. if I knew my partner was bothered by me flirting with someone else on here who I was talking with before we got together, I'd respect that and tone it down. The nature of the former relationship changes because it would not be appropriate for me to be flirting with others. I would not be chatting up other men in the PM. My profile would also reflect a relationship status if I had one. I tend to be quite concious of behaving with loyalty and respect. All the things I have stated I would want in return. I do not think things would last long otherwise. I don't really care for "ladies man" types anyway. and let me add that I would expect us both to keep all of our friends, and others who we call our friends would respect our relationship status and not try to cause jealousy or trouble if they are really our friends. It could definitely be a weeding out time, but hopefully that would not be necessary. I agree... we should keep our friends... and those we call friends so long as they aren't trouble makers, and want to be both our friends... and it's this kind of issue where I'm a stickler... if there's a woman whose deliberately trying to instigate trouble for us, and he chooses to side with her even when he tells me that he knows what she's doing and that it isn't right, then I immediately see something seriously wrong with the picture, and have to refocus my thoughts and actions to protect myself... the secrecy behind their clandestine chats is what bothers me... I'm open about everything, while he is not... |
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This is going to sound overly “girly”, but I’m going there anyway. The last man I dated seriously was entirely too handsome. He had women of all ages flirting with him anywhere we went. I was VERY aware of it, and to be honest, kind of liked it. There was something really romantic in knowing that every day he could have his pick of really sexy women and every day, he chose to be with goofy little moi. Then again, it might have felt different to me had he ever flirted back.
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I like how you put it, kic... that a man will want to be with us because of our chemistry and the "special" friendship we share with them... I'm not competitive either, and rather than fight for a man's attention, once he makes it clear that I'm not important to him, I walk away so he can be with somebody he will truly love and respect. Yep. Im actually confused by people who stay and remain unhappy or angry. ...but there are people who enjoy that and think of it as a rousing challenge. Just not me. 
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For me i really have to consider that this is a dating site but i want it also to be natural in a way that i dont treat others here as a threat towards a guy. After all its a guys decision if whos who. They are here to settle/if they want to settle down so they must know how to narrow down, same with us. If ever he dont agree of me still chatting with my friends then its up to him. He must know where my loyalty is. hi winlei... so to you, it is important that you both know where your loyalty is toward each other? And if his loyalty rests more with another woman than with you, do you accept his divided feelings? he doesn't care Athena and of course he will correct if wrong, but what I mean is from what I have heard him say on here he is not pursuing a commitment....my impression is that he may also be doing some frolicking when they are not together. As for myself. if I knew my partner was bothered by me flirting with someone else on here who I was talking with before we got together, I'd respect that and tone it down. The nature of the former relationship changes because it would not be appropriate for me to be flirting with others. I would not be chatting up other men in the PM. My profile would also reflect a relationship status if I had one. I tend to be quite concious of behaving with loyalty and respect. All the things I have stated I would want in return. I do not think things would last long otherwise. I don't really care for "ladies man" types anyway. and let me add that I would expect us both to keep all of our friends, and others who we call our friends would respect our relationship status and not try to cause jealousy or trouble if they are really our friends. It could definitely be a weeding out time, but hopefully that would not be necessary. I agree... we should keep our friends... and those we call friends so long as they aren't trouble makers, and want to be both our friends... and it's this kind of issue where I'm a stickler... if there's a woman whose deliberately trying to instigate trouble for us, and he chooses to side with her even when he tells me that he knows what she's doing and that it isn't right, then I immediately see something seriously wrong with the picture, and have to refocus my thoughts and actions to protect myself... the secrecy behind their clandestine chats is what bothers me... I'm open about everything, while he is not... if u are open and he is not there is an imbalance in the equilibrim. You have to now decide to "tolerate" or not...or walk away or not....it is not an easy subject to raise with a new man because no matter you phrase it - it will probably coming out soundign like "my way or the highway" but if the values are so out of sync that could be the choise. It would bother me also. It is a relative kinda thing but to me it is inappropriate |
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If a single woman is the best match for a single man, then that woman will not have any so-called "rivals".
Also, a single man is a free agent while he is single. The fact that a single man is having sex with a particular woman doesn't imply that the man belongs exclusively to the woman. If a woman wants exclusive rights to a man, then she needs to marry him. |
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If it has anxiety tied to it I'm pretty much out of there.I know that some people have to temper their lives by some degree of anxiety for some reason or another, but my Vibe doesn't work that way at all.
I don't need or want my happiness or hers to be a product of tension. BTW excitement in my book is different than tension. I've seen some view and treat them as the same. |
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I'm not sure that I understand exactly what you're asking here but if I meet someone who becomes my "partner" or "significant other" I take it that you are talking about someone that I've started a sexual relationship with and in that case there's no way that I would think that it was cool that she was still dating other men. People like that are players and they mess you about. She either wants to be my girlfriend or she doesn't. yes, the partners have an active sex life, a real relationship... and I'm with you too... I think it's wrong for our lovers to be stepping around on us, especially if its with people they know have it out for us to begin with. that's just too below the belt... trashy even... Well, you seem to be talking from personal experience with this stuff about people "that have it in for us" and that sounds like a bitchy female thing. It's different with men I think. A fight over a woman would be exactly that. When I was in a situation with a woman that was also seeing another guy she said to me that she thought that it might be nice if I met him and I said that I didn't think that would really be a good idea and she knew that I would have kicked the **** out of him if we had a fight over her, so I didn't go to that party and she did and that was the end of that relationship. you're just too funny tawt... you obviously have never had meddlin in-laws... or you'd know how devious people can be when they want to interfere with somebody's relationship... and your girlfriend who wanted you to meet her ex, sounds like she was pretty free spirited... maybe even trying to make you jealous?... just making conversation... not statin facts...
The guy wasn't her ex. He was a guy that she started seeing when we were "on a break", if I can put it that way. She was free spirited and she was telling me that we were just "friends" and saying the same thing about him but she just wanted to have her cake and eat it. And I don't think that she was being serious when she said that she would like me to meet him. She liked to play mind games and she thought that the situation was funny. And no, I have never had meddling inlaws. I've never been married. Consider yourself spared then.. meddlin in-laws are the worst kind of knife in the back... yeah, it definitely sounds like your girl was trying to bait both hooks to see which was a keeper...
More like she just wanted to say that neither I or the other guy "owned her" so that she could try to justify her cheating. She didn't want to "keep" me. She just wanted to keep seeing me when it suited her and when she wanted time away from him. |
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If a single woman is the best match for a single man, then that woman will not have any so-called "rivals". Also, a single man is a free agent while he is single. The fact that a single man is having sex with a particular woman doesn't imply that the man belongs exclusively to the woman. If a woman wants exclusive rights to a man, then she needs to marry him. In other words, it doesn't matter if I'm in a relationship with you because I didn't sign a contract and I'll have sex with whoever I like. Pretty flimsy justification for cheating. Maybe you think like this but what you say here is not a "true" statement and it only reflects your own values. |
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This is going to sound overly “girly”, but I’m going there anyway. The last man I dated seriously was entirely too handsome. He had women of all ages flirting with him anywhere we went. I was VERY aware of it, and to be honest, kind of liked it. There was something really romantic in knowing that every day he could have his pick of really sexy women and every day, he chose to be with goofy little moi. Then again, it might have felt different to me had he ever flirted back. love this girly write, and memory... I'm no slouch when it comes to my share of arm candy either... back in the day...  and it was very nice until the first time he flirted back... then it was adios jack... I don't go for that... thanks for sharing Cynderella.. 
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For me i really have to consider that this is a dating site but i want it also to be natural in a way that i dont treat others here as a threat towards a guy. After all its a guys decision if whos who. They are here to settle/if they want to settle down so they must know how to narrow down, same with us. If ever he dont agree of me still chatting with my friends then its up to him. He must know where my loyalty is. hi winlei... so to you, it is important that you both know where your loyalty is toward each other? And if his loyalty rests more with another woman than with you, do you accept his divided feelings? he doesn't care Athena and of course he will correct if wrong, but what I mean is from what I have heard him say on here he is not pursuing a commitment....my impression is that he may also be doing some frolicking when they are not together. As for myself. if I knew my partner was bothered by me flirting with someone else on here who I was talking with before we got together, I'd respect that and tone it down. The nature of the former relationship changes because it would not be appropriate for me to be flirting with others. I would not be chatting up other men in the PM. My profile would also reflect a relationship status if I had one. I tend to be quite concious of behaving with loyalty and respect. All the things I have stated I would want in return. I do not think things would last long otherwise. I don't really care for "ladies man" types anyway. and let me add that I would expect us both to keep all of our friends, and others who we call our friends would respect our relationship status and not try to cause jealousy or trouble if they are really our friends. It could definitely be a weeding out time, but hopefully that would not be necessary. I agree... we should keep our friends... and those we call friends so long as they aren't trouble makers, and want to be both our friends... and it's this kind of issue where I'm a stickler... if there's a woman whose deliberately trying to instigate trouble for us, and he chooses to side with her even when he tells me that he knows what she's doing and that it isn't right, then I immediately see something seriously wrong with the picture, and have to refocus my thoughts and actions to protect myself... the secrecy behind their clandestine chats is what bothers me... I'm open about everything, while he is not... if u are open and he is not there is an imbalance in the equilibrim. You have to now decide to "tolerate" or not...or walk away or not....it is not an easy subject to raise with a new man because no matter you phrase it - it will probably coming out soundign like "my way or the highway" but if the values are so out of sync that could be the choise. It would bother me also. It is a relative kinda thing but to me it is inappropriate that's the whole thing in a nutshell... if everything was above board there wouldn't be any chats that I wouldn't be made privy too... there'd be nothing to hide... and it's not about being able to play the privacy card, when I was the topic of conversation... and I don't tolerate a "traitor in my camp"... even though I live out loud and prefer to be an open book, for my own political reasons, it's my story to tell... and if someone claims to love me they don't show me disrespect and break my trust... especially when the info being shared turned this 3rd party against me, and they never bothered to check with me to see if it was true or what the basis for it is... like I said previously, it all boils down to respect... and the fact that I wasn't shown any because of the imbalance in values... |
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If a single woman is the best match for a single man, then that woman will not have any so-called "rivals". Also, a single man is a free agent while he is single. The fact that a single man is having sex with a particular woman doesn't imply that the man belongs exclusively to the woman. If a woman wants exclusive rights to a man, then she needs to marry him.
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If it has anxiety tied to it I'm pretty much out of there.I know that some people have to temper their lives by some degree of anxiety for some reason or another, but my Vibe doesn't work that way at all. I don't need or want my happiness or hers to be a product of tension. BTW excitement in my book is different than tension. I've seen some view and treat them as the same. 100% agree... no tension or drama for me... thanks for sharing...
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I'm not sure that I understand exactly what you're asking here but if I meet someone who becomes my "partner" or "significant other" I take it that you are talking about someone that I've started a sexual relationship with and in that case there's no way that I would think that it was cool that she was still dating other men. People like that are players and they mess you about. She either wants to be my girlfriend or she doesn't. yes, the partners have an active sex life, a real relationship... and I'm with you too... I think it's wrong for our lovers to be stepping around on us, especially if its with people they know have it out for us to begin with. that's just too below the belt... trashy even... Well, you seem to be talking from personal experience with this stuff about people "that have it in for us" and that sounds like a bitchy female thing. It's different with men I think. A fight over a woman would be exactly that. When I was in a situation with a woman that was also seeing another guy she said to me that she thought that it might be nice if I met him and I said that I didn't think that would really be a good idea and she knew that I would have kicked the **** out of him if we had a fight over her, so I didn't go to that party and she did and that was the end of that relationship. you're just too funny tawt... you obviously have never had meddlin in-laws... or you'd know how devious people can be when they want to interfere with somebody's relationship... and your girlfriend who wanted you to meet her ex, sounds like she was pretty free spirited... maybe even trying to make you jealous?... just making conversation... not statin facts...
The guy wasn't her ex. He was a guy that she started seeing when we were "on a break", if I can put it that way. She was free spirited and she was telling me that we were just "friends" and saying the same thing about him but she just wanted to have her cake and eat it. And I don't think that she was being serious when she said that she would like me to meet him. She liked to play mind games and she thought that the situation was funny. And no, I have never had meddling inlaws. I've never been married. Consider yourself spared then.. meddlin in-laws are the worst kind of knife in the back... yeah, it definitely sounds like your girl was trying to bait both hooks to see which was a keeper...
More like she just wanted to say that neither I or the other guy "owned her" so that she could try to justify her cheating. She didn't want to "keep" me. She just wanted to keep seeing me when it suited her and when she wanted time away from him. so you had your hands full with a little she-player... that's cute... I wonder if she ever did find her Mr. Right... 
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If a single woman is the best match for a single man, then that woman will not have any so-called "rivals". Also, a single man is a free agent while he is single. The fact that a single man is having sex with a particular woman doesn't imply that the man belongs exclusively to the woman. If a woman wants exclusive rights to a man, then she needs to marry him. In other words, it doesn't matter if I'm in a relationship with you because I didn't sign a contract and I'll have sex with whoever I like. Pretty flimsy justification for cheating. Maybe you think like this but what you say here is not a "true" statement and it only reflects your own values. I agree with the first part though, tawt, as I'm sure you might too, right? "If a single woman is the best match for a single man, then that woman will not have any so-called "rivals"." it's just a given truth that when a man is happy at home he doesn't roam... |
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If a man wants a relationship with me, he has to give up his Online women friends. I do not consider women he chats with online are his real true friends. Online men usually talk to several women at a time. I do not have time to have a "relationship" with a man, who is not willing to give that up. I won't be on a Dating site, when I have a "relationship" . Maybe a "forum" but not on a Date site. toody... I think I'm going to faint... you are the first woman to state this emphatically... and it's so good to know that I am not the only woman that thinks and feels this way... good for you... 
If a man is still on any Dating sites when he already Chose a woman he wanted to be in a "Relationship" with, then something is wrong with that.  Remember, I am not talking about a Man, who is dating, there is a big difference in dating and in a real "Relationship". I don't think a Serious Man would have to be asked to give up his Dating sites . He would just do it. Imo
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