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| Topic: How do we win over the competition? | |
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I don't try to win 'em over. If there is a main squeeze in my life I make sure she knows there is no other woman.
Besides, it is hard enough pleasing one person, where do you get the time to please two or more??? |
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I don't try to win 'em over. If there is a main squeeze in my life I make sure she knows there is no other woman. Besides, it is hard enough pleasing one person, where do you get the time to please two or more??? you are indeed a very smart man, hippie...  I love how you are so point blank.. "If there is a main squeeze in my life I make sure she knows there is no other woman." It's such a simple concept that keeps the peace, but so few men really understand it's value to their sanity level... 
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I don't try to win 'em over. If there is a main squeeze in my life I make sure she knows there is no other woman. Besides, it is hard enough pleasing one person, where do you get the time to please two or more??? you are indeed a very smart man, hippie... I love how you are so point blank.. "If there is a main squeeze in my life I make sure she knows there is no other woman." It's such a simple concept that keeps the peace, but so few men really understand it's value to their sanity level...
Well, as far as girls that are friends, you make sure you are always with your woman when palling around with 'em...just so you have them to hug on. |
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I'm not sure that I understand exactly what you're asking here but if I meet someone who becomes my "partner" or "significant other" I take it that you are talking about someone that I've started a sexual relationship with and in that case there's no way that I would think that it was cool that she was still dating other men. People like that are players and they mess you about. She either wants to be my girlfriend or she doesn't. yes, the partners have an active sex life, a real relationship... and I'm with you too... I think it's wrong for our lovers to be stepping around on us, especially if its with people they know have it out for us to begin with. that's just too below the belt... trashy even... Well, you seem to be talking from personal experience with this stuff about people "that have it in for us" and that sounds like a bitchy female thing. It's different with men I think. A fight over a woman would be exactly that. When I was in a situation with a woman that was also seeing another guy she said to me that she thought that it might be nice if I met him and I said that I didn't think that would really be a good idea and she knew that I would have kicked the **** out of him if we had a fight over her, so I didn't go to that party and she did and that was the end of that relationship. |
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Edited by
DaySinner
on
Sat 03/09/13 12:10 PM
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what are we supposed to think, say, and/or do if our partners/significant others makes it clear to us that they respect and will remain friends with the men and/or women that we both know are our rivals, This statement sounds very confused to me. How can you be friends with a rival? What do you mean by rival? The moment you have a rival, there can be no friendship. I don't mean to imply that rivals can NEVER become friends. Sometimes your greatest rival turns into your greatest friend. Perhaps she becomes more important in your life than what was once your "significant other." Please explain what you mean by loyalty. Are you talking about cheating or something else altogether? |
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I don't try to win 'em over. If there is a main squeeze in my life I make sure she knows there is no other woman. Besides, it is hard enough pleasing one person, where do you get the time to please two or more??? you are indeed a very smart man, hippie... I love how you are so point blank.. "If there is a main squeeze in my life I make sure she knows there is no other woman." It's such a simple concept that keeps the peace, but so few men really understand it's value to their sanity level...
Well, as far as girls that are friends, you make sure you are always with your woman when palling around with 'em...just so you have them to hug on. 
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Sat 03/09/13 12:12 PM
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If a man wants a relationship with me, he has to give up his Online women friends. I do not consider women he chats with online are his real true friends. Online men usually talk to several women at a time. I do not have time to have a "relationship" with a man, who is not willing to give that up. I won't be on a Dating site, when I have a "relationship" . Maybe a "forum" but not on a Date site.
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AthenaRose...I'm probably out of my realm when it comes to these type of situations...I was never involved with men who were big flirts...And there were no rivals waiting in the wings who wanted my man...YUK! It all sounds like a "soap-opera" to me! Or "stuff" people might go through in high-school...Come to think about it I did have a (supposedly) best friend in high-school who went "after" a guy I was dating behind my back...When I found out I stopped seeing my friend and the guy and just started "going it alone" most of all...And this is how I am today..Mostly a loner. I just see friends or step into "groups" once in a great while...So I'm not really part of what goes on in "mainstream society" (or life) very often.
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I'm not sure that I understand exactly what you're asking here but if I meet someone who becomes my "partner" or "significant other" I take it that you are talking about someone that I've started a sexual relationship with and in that case there's no way that I would think that it was cool that she was still dating other men. People like that are players and they mess you about. She either wants to be my girlfriend or she doesn't. yes, the partners have an active sex life, a real relationship... and I'm with you too... I think it's wrong for our lovers to be stepping around on us, especially if its with people they know have it out for us to begin with. that's just too below the belt... trashy even... Well, you seem to be talking from personal experience with this stuff about people "that have it in for us" and that sounds like a bitchy female thing. It's different with men I think. A fight over a woman would be exactly that. When I was in a situation with a woman that was also seeing another guy she said to me that she thought that it might be nice if I met him and I said that I didn't think that would really be a good idea and she knew that I would have kicked the **** out of him if we had a fight over her, so I didn't go to that party and she did and that was the end of that relationship. you're just too funny tawt... you obviously have never had meddlin in-laws... or you'd know how devious people can be when they want to interfere with somebody's relationship... and your girlfriend who wanted you to meet her ex, sounds like she was pretty free spirited... maybe even trying to make you jealous?... just making conversation... not statin facts...
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If a man wants a relationship with me, he has to give up his Online women friends. I do not consider women he chats with online are his real true friends. Online men usually talk to several women at a time. I do not have time to have a "relationship" with a man, who is not willing to give that up. I won't be on a Dating site, when I have a "relationship" . Maybe a "forum" but not on a Date site. toody... I think I'm going to faint... you are the first woman to state this emphatically... and it's so good to know that I am not the only woman that thinks and feels this way... good for you... 
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AthenaRose...I'm probably out of my realm when it comes to these type of situations...I was never involved with men who were big flirts...And there were no rivals waiting in the wings who wanted my man...YUK! It all sounds like a "soap-opera" to me! Or "stuff" people might go through in high-school...Come to think about it I did have a (supposedly) best friend in high-school who went "after" a guy I was dating behind my back...When I found out I stopped seeing my friend and the guy and just started "going it alone" most of all...And this is how I am today..Mostly a loner. I just see friends or step into "groups" once in a great while...So I'm not really part of what goes on in "mainstream society" (or life) very often. Yes, Green Eyes, I like your style because I can relate... and I'm just as much out of my element when it comes to online sites where people connect and form friendships that can be as strong or as fragile as the real world... I'm really enjoying the many lessons I'm learning about how we all think and handle issues differently... it's so cool, you can ask one question and get 20 different answers and they are all valid... I love the diversity... |
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If a man wants a relationship with me, he has to give up his Online women friends. I do not consider women he chats with online are his real true friends. Online men usually talk to several women at a time. I do not have time to have a "relationship" with a man, who is not willing to give that up. I won't be on a Dating site, when I have a "relationship" . Maybe a "forum" but not on a Date site. I use this site as a forum rather than dating site really. Even when Im dating someone, I like to chat and shoot the breeze, and I like it here for that. I dont really pm anyone but if someone wanted to clarify privately what I posted on a thread I would do that. I cant imagine asking someone to stop that. I think a previous partner felt uneasy about it though. He was a deceitful person however and only hinted at it rather than discuss it. I was always upfront with him and even showed him my posts/conversations. I understand your point, and I don't have a problem with my man being friends with the people online, so long as his friends didn't want to exclude me from their friendship.. then I would have to ask him to make the same choice, to choose me or them.. and if he chooses their friendship over me, then I'm done with him... do you think like I do on this? |
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what are we supposed to think, say, and/or do if our partners/significant others makes it clear to us that they respect and will remain friends with the men and/or women that we both know are our rivals, This statement sounds very confused to me. How can you be friends with a rival? What do you mean by rival? The moment you have a rival, there can be no friendship. I don't mean to imply that rivals can NEVER become friends. Sometimes your greatest rival turns into your greatest friend. Perhaps she becomes more important in your life than what was once your "significant other." Please explain what you mean by loyalty. Are you talking about cheating or something else altogether? To me a rival is someone who does not like me, and takes their dislike even further by causing me injury in some way, such as abusing me emotionally… or who will conduct themselves in such a manner as to intentionally cause me stress… With this said… if I had a partner who was friends with a rival of mine, and even though he knew that her actions were harming me, he chooses to keep her friendship for himself, then what should I do about my relationship with him? When he is obviously more loyal to her than he would be to me in this type of scenario. I don’t fight over men who aren’t loyal to me, I leave them so they can find somebody else that they can respect honorably… After all, why would he choose another woman’s friendship over his own woman? You don’t have to answer this, this is just a question about this type of scenario that I'm curious to know the why's about. And I’ve put this type of scenario on the table for discussion, because I’m not a relationship expert. And I haven’t had enough experience to know how to handle every different thing that comes up. I also do make rash decisions at times because I’m an over emotional female that is extremely spontaneous, especially if I’m under stress. So, I’d like to know how other people with more rational minds would handle these types of things if it happens to them… I want to learn… and I’m the first one to admit that I don’t know everything… but I do know how I feel in my heart… and if it tells me my man isn’t being loyal to me, than I follow my instincts… right or wrong… |
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If a man wants a relationship with me, he has to give up his Online women friends. I do not consider women he chats with online are his real true friends. Online men usually talk to several women at a time. I do not have time to have a "relationship" with a man, who is not willing to give that up. I won't be on a Dating site, when I have a "relationship" . Maybe a "forum" but not on a Date site. I use this site as a forum rather than dating site really. Even when Im dating someone, I like to chat and shoot the breeze, and I like it here for that. I dont really pm anyone but if someone wanted to clarify privately what I posted on a thread I would do that. I cant imagine asking someone to stop that. I think a previous partner felt uneasy about it though. He was a deceitful person however and only hinted at it rather than discuss it. I was always upfront with him and even showed him my posts/conversations. I understand your point, and I don't have a problem with my man being friends with the people online, so long as his friends didn't want to exclude me from their friendship.. then I would have to ask him to make the same choice, to choose me or them.. and if he chooses their friendship over me, then I'm done with him... do you think like I do on this? you're so sweet... thank you for your words of support, they do comfort me.... 
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Edited by
DaySinner
on
Sat 03/09/13 02:17 PM
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what are we supposed to think, say, and/or do if our partners/significant others makes it clear to us that they respect and will remain friends with the men and/or women that we both know are our rivals, This statement sounds very confused to me. How can you be friends with a rival? What do you mean by rival? The moment you have a rival, there can be no friendship. I don't mean to imply that rivals can NEVER become friends. Sometimes your greatest rival turns into your greatest friend. Perhaps she becomes more important in your life than what was once your "significant other." Please explain what you mean by loyalty. Are you talking about cheating or something else altogether? To me a rival is someone who does not like me, and takes their dislike even further by causing me injury in some way, such as abusing me emotionally… or who will conduct themselves in such a manner as to intentionally cause me stress… With this said… if I had a partner who was friends with a rival of mine, and even though he knew that her actions were harming me, he chooses to keep her friendship for himself, then what should I do about my relationship with him? When he is obviously more loyal to her than he would be to me in this type of scenario. I don’t fight over men who aren’t loyal to me, I leave them so they can find somebody else that they can respect honorably… After all, why would he choose another woman’s friendship over his own woman? You don’t have to answer this, this is just a question about this type of scenario that I'm curious to know the why's about. And I’ve put this type of scenario on the table for discussion, because I’m not a relationship expert. And I haven’t had enough experience to know how to handle every different thing that comes up. I also do make rash decisions at times because I’m an over emotional female that is extremely spontaneous, especially if I’m under stress. So, I’d like to know how other people with more rational minds would handle these types of things if it happens to them… I want to learn… and I’m the first one to admit that I don’t know everything… but I do know how I feel in my heart… and if it tells me my man isn’t being loyal to me, than I follow my instincts… right or wrong… I say don't trust in any "authority" to tell you what to do. No one has the formula for building a happier life. You have to find the truth for yourself. If it happened to me, I would feel jealous. Jealousy is a tricky thing causing the deepest hurt leading to irrational action. I need to be ESPECIALLY careful when I have those feelings. I would want to know why my partner wants to maintain the friendship. I want to face my hurt. It's the same thing with anger. Whether or not this leads to a breakup is less important. If your mind is preoccupied with wanting a particular result, i.e. I must break up, I must not break up, I must accept, I must not accept, it won't free to find out the truth. |
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Sat 03/09/13 02:51 PM
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If a man wants a relationship with me, he has to give up his Online women friends. I do not consider women he chats with online are his real true friends. Online men usually talk to several women at a time. I do not have time to have a "relationship" with a man, who is not willing to give that up. I won't be on a Dating site, when I have a "relationship" . Maybe a "forum" but not on a Date site. toody... I think I'm going to faint... you are the first woman to state this emphatically... and it's so good to know that I am not the only woman that thinks and feels this way... good for you...
If a man is still on any Dating sites when he already Chose a woman he wanted to be in a "Relationship" with, then something is wrong with that.  Remember, I am not talking about a Man, who is dating, there is a big difference in dating and in a real "Relationship". I don't think a Serious Man would have to be asked to give up his Dating sites . He would just do it. Imo
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what are we supposed to think, say, and/or do if our partners/significant others makes it clear to us that they respect and will remain friends with the men and/or women that we both know are our rivals, This statement sounds very confused to me. How can you be friends with a rival? What do you mean by rival? The moment you have a rival, there can be no friendship. I don't mean to imply that rivals can NEVER become friends. Sometimes your greatest rival turns into your greatest friend. Perhaps she becomes more important in your life than what was once your "significant other." Please explain what you mean by loyalty. Are you talking about cheating or something else altogether? To me a rival is someone who does not like me, and takes their dislike even further by causing me injury in some way, such as abusing me emotionally… or who will conduct themselves in such a manner as to intentionally cause me stress… With this said… if I had a partner who was friends with a rival of mine, and even though he knew that her actions were harming me, he chooses to keep her friendship for himself, then what should I do about my relationship with him? When he is obviously more loyal to her than he would be to me in this type of scenario. I don’t fight over men who aren’t loyal to me, I leave them so they can find somebody else that they can respect honorably… After all, why would he choose another woman’s friendship over his own woman? You don’t have to answer this, this is just a question about this type of scenario that I'm curious to know the why's about. And I’ve put this type of scenario on the table for discussion, because I’m not a relationship expert. And I haven’t had enough experience to know how to handle every different thing that comes up. I also do make rash decisions at times because I’m an over emotional female that is extremely spontaneous, especially if I’m under stress. So, I’d like to know how other people with more rational minds would handle these types of things if it happens to them… I want to learn… and I’m the first one to admit that I don’t know everything… but I do know how I feel in my heart… and if it tells me my man isn’t being loyal to me, than I follow my instincts… right or wrong… I say don't trust in any "authority" to tell you what to do. No one has the formula for building a happier life. You have to find the truth for yourself. If it happened to me, I would feel jealous. Jealousy is a tricky thing causing the deepest hurt leading to irrational action. I need to be ESPECIALLY careful when I have those feelings. I would want to know why my partner wants to maintain the friendship. I want to face my hurt. It's the same thing with anger. Whether or not this leads to a breakup is less important. If your mind is preoccupied with wanting a particular result, i.e. I must break up, I must not break up, I must accept, I must not accept, it won't free to find out the truth. Thank you for taking your time to analyze the scenario, and for giving your honest feedback. I agree that jealousy could have been a minor component at first, but if the situation had gotten out of hand and reached the level of blatant disrespect, then anger would have been the determining factor at that point. And, personally, I wouldn’t care to understand more fully why my partner would choose this type of woman over me, she obviously has something that I don’t, and that’s all I need to know. As for working out feelings and emotions about everything that transpired as a result of this scenario, I would do the best I could to work through things on my own, well, not totally, I’d also ask for advice from my Mingle family of friends. |
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If a man wants a relationship with me, he has to give up his Online women friends. I do not consider women he chats with online are his real true friends. Online men usually talk to several women at a time. I do not have time to have a "relationship" with a man, who is not willing to give that up. I won't be on a Dating site, when I have a "relationship" . Maybe a "forum" but not on a Date site. toody... I think I'm going to faint... you are the first woman to state this emphatically... and it's so good to know that I am not the only woman that thinks and feels this way... good for you...
If a man is still on any Dating sites when he already Chose a woman he wanted to be in a "Relationship" with, then something is wrong with that. Remember, I am not talking about a Man, who is dating, there is a big difference in dating and in a real "Relationship". I don't think a Serious Man would have to be asked to give up his Dating sites . He would just do it. Imo
Yes, I understand... as would I give them up too... 
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Exclusive is exclusive.
Not exclusive is just not so serious. There is really no place for jealousy in either situation if you think about it.... |
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I'm not sure that I understand exactly what you're asking here but if I meet someone who becomes my "partner" or "significant other" I take it that you are talking about someone that I've started a sexual relationship with and in that case there's no way that I would think that it was cool that she was still dating other men. People like that are players and they mess you about. She either wants to be my girlfriend or she doesn't. yes, the partners have an active sex life, a real relationship... and I'm with you too... I think it's wrong for our lovers to be stepping around on us, especially if its with people they know have it out for us to begin with. that's just too below the belt... trashy even... Well, you seem to be talking from personal experience with this stuff about people "that have it in for us" and that sounds like a bitchy female thing. It's different with men I think. A fight over a woman would be exactly that. When I was in a situation with a woman that was also seeing another guy she said to me that she thought that it might be nice if I met him and I said that I didn't think that would really be a good idea and she knew that I would have kicked the **** out of him if we had a fight over her, so I didn't go to that party and she did and that was the end of that relationship. you're just too funny tawt... you obviously have never had meddlin in-laws... or you'd know how devious people can be when they want to interfere with somebody's relationship... and your girlfriend who wanted you to meet her ex, sounds like she was pretty free spirited... maybe even trying to make you jealous?... just making conversation... not statin facts...
The guy wasn't her ex. He was a guy that she started seeing when we were "on a break", if I can put it that way. She was free spirited and she was telling me that we were just "friends" and saying the same thing about him but she just wanted to have her cake and eat it. And I don't think that she was being serious when she said that she would like me to meet him. She liked to play mind games and she thought that the situation was funny. And no, I have never had meddling inlaws. I've never been married. |
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