Then there is your example of unnecessary talking - when the purpose of talking is to be the center of attention.

I think you hit the nail on the head Greeneyes; it was like walking on eggshells. I also didn't appreciate him saying I was nagging when I only asked him once after waiting for two weeks if he would put the shelf up. I can't see how that is considered nagging. I just asked in case he forgot but he flew off the handle. He was removed from my home after he hit me from behind so I guess the warning signs were there over the shelf situation. I would ask him to help with the chores like mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage but he wouldn't even do that. I never realized how lazy a man can get until I lived with him. He wasn't the only one that was like that so I got used to doing things for myself. My friend Lee is an exceptional man and when he offers to do something for me or help me with something; he actually does in and in a reasonable time. However; men like him are very rare.

What is necessary talking, then? Do you guys like to sit around in silence? Is that what this is about? I'm not quite sure what this thread is really about, I guess.

Seriously. This is the problem with generalizations. Many generalizations are true - as generalizations, and not for all individuals all the time.

I do think, at least in the mainstream culture of the early 21st century US, that men are more likely to talk more often for information, and women are more likely to talk more often to a feeling of connection or sharing with the other person.

But everybody does both at times, and many women and many men don't fit the generalization.

Once people start thinking like the stereotype is a good way to think about individuals, there is the problem of prejudice.

Sorry you got hit and went through so much mental stress in the relationship...Glad you got rid of the guy!...I read a good book years ago called: "The Grown-up Man" that really spelled things out..It was written by John C. Friel Ph.D. (A male psychologist.)...The author admits that he didn't always act grown-up or treat women very well in his earlier relationships but he went through a transformation later in life. And his current marriage was much happier and more rewarding...There are lots of other good books out there too...I read a lot of books since I had 2 sons. (I was a single parent.)...Plus I majored in Child Development when I went to college the first time...There's a lot of wonderful information "out there." But most people tend to "parent" their kids the way that they were "parented" themselves and don't search for additional information. Have you noticed this?...Glad you have Lee in your life. Sorry about all the problems you encountered with the other guys.

It went from women being "blabbermouths" and "nags" and branched-off from there.

I'm more of a loner and don't hang-out with friends all the time or "do groups."...When I'm around some of my female friends they make jokes about their husbands or "all men" at times...And I've heard men speak in generalities and use derrogative terms towards their wives or "all women" in general too...This is why my husband and I didn't socialize very often. We didn't want to be pulled into "group think" or all the "slurs" towards the opposite sex...We wanted to be free to be happy together and best friends!...I didn't realize that the old "battle of the sexes" was still playing out to such a large degree until I joined this forum. (After my husband passed-away.)

Blabbering isn't a gender-specific phenomenon.

Maybe they are rehearsing for a run for public office.

Most of us probably got "nagged" at times by our parents or "lectured."...Back then we were small and our parents held all the "power" and "cards."...I think some people create or end-up in parent/child relationships with their spouses (or mates) as adults...And it doesn't have to be this way. I certainly wouldn't want to turn my husband into my "father" and play the role of "child" in my marriage.....And I wouldn't want to be married to a man who played "rebellious (and resentful) teenager" all his life either. (Where I was expected to step-in and play the role of his "mother.")...None of this is healthy or appropriate for adult relationships. We aren't really "kids" anymore and don't need "parents."

Thanks Greeneyes. This is why I just can't be bothered with the dating or even trying to meet someone. I don't think things will ever change with men my age and I just accept they will always act that way. I think if it weren't for my friend Lee; I could easily have turned into a man hater but I realize there are good men out there like him but just my luck they are spoken for.

I can't imagine being with a guy who is constantly complaining about women blabbering too much. Or about unnecessary talking.

Maybe the guy just can't communicate so that is why the girl is doing the talking. I have found through my own experiences most men simply don't know how to communicate very well.

It is probably true that the guy who thinks that women talk to much aren't the best at communicating.

A lot of men seem to process internally and then only say something once they have reached a conclusion....OK.....then they tell us....and we try to discuss...and they're caught off guard because they are assuming we know that is the CONCLUSION he has stated NOT a jumping off point for further discussion

in my opinion this can be huge cuz it's either ; (her) "OK you are presenting me with a conclusion so WHY was I not part of the discussion?" or " You are telling me this idea and then NOT hearing anything I say about it!!! grrrrr...." because we are not seeing it as the conclusion ....but he is

then (he) "I'm telling you this, Why are you questioning me?" not considering that even tho he has thought it all out we don't know that and/or expect to be part of the thinking process

I lived for years in a household that was mostly male - that's kinda how things seemed looking back on it

Or women won't shut up long enough for the man to get a word in.

I have seen that work the other way more often actually

Do you remember "Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus?"

If I remember correctly, one of the key concepts in the book is that women often talk to express their feelings and thoughts, while men tend focus on problem solving. While a woman may explore ideas openly, the man may be waiting for her to "get to the point" feeling he's being called upon to fix something.